


Eruri Ficlets & Mc'drabbles

by birbwin



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Depression, Domestic Eruri, Fluff, Humour, Hurt, M/M, NSFW, crack ficlets, feel good shit, jean being thoroughly traumatised, literally ranges from serious drabbles to stupid af, mainly fluff tbh, mainly prompts i answer from tumblr, pining!eruris, silly drabbles, they get better over time bear with me lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-02 16:29:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 118
Words: 71,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4066801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birbwin/pseuds/birbwin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of drabbles and ficlets from my tumblr.</p><p>Alternates between modern au and canon-verse, ranging from 300-1500 words, so they're not all short reads exactly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 


	2. Come Home

He is watching the morning news when Levi walks into the room, having just woken up. His hair is unruly, eyes framed by purple-black bags, mouth set in a firm line.

”I need to see animals,” is all he says, his posture coy and unsure as he leans against the door frame. He still fears judgement.

There was a time when Erwin would have raised a big brow, would have prodded at the random request, dissected it. But by now he is fluent in Levi, understands him clearly: Today I am struggling.

That’s how they end up at the zoo on a Wednesday morning, Erwin having taken a sick day. Levi brings along what he has come to call his ‘Hange-encounter Kit’, a box filled to the brim with migraine tablets, baby wipes, bandaids and, for some reason, a nail clipper.

Levi doesn’t say much. He moves silently to each exhibit, staring at each animal for a bit before shuffling off to the next section of the zoo. Erwin makes small talk here and there, pointing out anything overly cute. He noticed a long time ago that animals make Levi pensive, yet calm. He’s not sure why he seeks comfort in them, but he suspects it ties into his philosophy - reminds him of his place in the world.

He refuses to visit the walrus tank on account of them making him want to ‘throw up in his own damn mouth.’ They approach the meerkat pen and Levi watches them scamper about, amused at the way they poke their heads out from behind the many objects they have littered about.

“You know,” Erwin comments, “I think if you were an animal you would be a meerkat. You remind me of one.”

Levi gives a small but genuine laugh, appears complimented for some reason. Erwin thinks it must be because they look relatively clean, as far as animals go.

“Meerkat live in big groups, they’re social animals.” To anyone else it would sound like a stand alone fact, but Erwin hears it for what it really means. They are not alone, unlike me. He knows that in Levi’s mind he is a rogue, a stray being that wanders empty plains in some instinctual search for belonging.

“Hey,” he says, takes Levi’s small hand in his own. “Come home.” The two words are Levi’s life jacket, a reminder not to let his thoughts stray, a reinforcement of Erwin’s solid presence in his life.

Levi smiles slightly, eyes watery. He brings Erwin’s hand up and kisses his palm.


	3. Boardgames and Wrath

He grips the steering wheel tighter, schools his facial expression into something a little more serious, and takes a deep breath. He shifts his body to the right to get a better look at Levi as he drives.   
  
“I’m sorry,” he croaks. But then he takes one look at Levi’s pinched brows and angry pout, grey eyes aflame, and starts laughing hysterically all over again.

“Can you fucking stop already,” Levi barks. “It’s not even that funny.”  
  
“You’re so-” is all Erwin manages to rasp as he doubles over, hand slapping his thigh repeatedly as he struggles to compose himself. “You just flipped it over, all the while acting as though you didn’t even care.”  
  
“Yeah well it’s a shitty game and you’re a damn cheat.” His arms are crossed now and he’s looking out the window, avoiding Erwin’s gaze.  
  
“I don’t make the rules, Levi. You landed on the Krusty Krab so you had to pay up. There is nothing dishonest about that.”  _Placing a Krusty Krab on the Krusty Krab was my best move tonight,_  Erwin praised in secret.  
  
Levi turns, narrows his eyes and taps Erwin’s scull with an accusatory finger. “Don’t think I don’t know you fucking planned that shit. You probably used some statistical formula to buy the most popular property and take the last of my money.”  
  
Erwin laughs again, eyes crinkling. “Well, even if that were true it’s not like I got to enjoy it. You flipped the board over before I could take down the others.” They hadn’t even lasted half an hour playing the Spongebob Edition Monopoly game before Levi had unleashed his wrath on the board, sending paper money and bits of plastic flying in all directions.  
  
“Whatever. Hange and Mike were stealing from the bank anyway.” It was true, and they had failed miserably at being discreet about it.  _Even with all of them cheating I probably still would have won._  
  
“Don’t worry, darling” he comforted, “something tells me they wont be inviting us over for a game night again anytime soon.”


	4. Dinosaurs and Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anomalousindustryenigma asked:
> 
> Married domestic cute eruri do whatever the hell you want i just need to hEAL MY BROKEN HEART

Erwin is lying stomach down on the couch with a face full of cushion, on the brink of sleep, when he feels a heavy weight settle on his backside. He turns his head to find Levi sitting on his butt, perched like a little king on his throne.

“Oi, get up.” He tugs at Erwin’s hair.

“I’ve only been napping for five minutes” he complains.

Levi bounces up and down with his whole body, using Erwin’s ass as some kind of jumping castle. “That’s too long, pay attention to me.” Erwin smiles because Levi’s kind of cute.

“What do you want to do?” he asks. He shifts his body around and catches Levi before he can fall, keeps him in his lap and strokes his hair.

Levi gives a devious smirk. “I already have something prepared,” he whispers, and if Erwin’s cock had ears they would definitely be perked with interest.

He takes his hand and leads him to their bedroom. Both Erwin and his already half-hard boner are confused when he notices that Levi’s laptop is on the bed, Jurassic Park loaded on Netflix.

“Again, Levi?” he groans. “Aren’t you sick of this movie?”

Levi ignores him, swan dives onto the bed and buries himself under the blanket. Erwin laughs at the way his little black head of hair pops out, realises that he doesn’t care what they watch as long as he gets to cuddle this beautiful creature all night.

And that’s exactly what they do. Levi’s seen it so many times that he knows the script off by heart, never fails to mimic Jeff Goldblum’s laugh.

“Rahaha-harr” Levi mocks, and Erwin laughs into his hair. Levi’s favourite part is when the t-rex escapes from its pen. It’s Erwin’s favourite part too because he gets to see Levi’s eyes go wide, completely rapt,  _every single time_.

Erwin kisses his neck and Levi mindlessly takes his hand in his own and intertwines their fingers. He strokes Erwin’s hand all throughout the movie, only pausing slightly when something really dramatic happens on screen. He’s asleep before it even ends and Erwin is shaking his head because he already knew Levi would leave him behind, condemn him to this movie all by himself.

Levi gurgles something in his sleep and Erwin just smiles as he strokes his hair. He falls asleep with a mouth full of inky black locks.


	5. Saviour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:
> 
> Eruri prompts did you say? What about Erwin losing his uniform shirt and stressing about it all day until he finds out the Levi decided to do his laundry for him

He throws another shirt over his shoulder as he continues pillaging his drawer. He’s not one to linger on self-deprecating thoughts but today he is frustrated, so he grants himself the luxury of moping over the idea that his missing shirt is a bad omen. It probably is, given his brand of luck.

He has some other uniform shirts but none are the one he wants. They’re all too tight or too stiff. He wants the one with the barely discernible ink stain on the right hand sleeve, the one that he has broken to the shape of his body so well it could be worn as a pajama top. It’s the one Levi always complains about.

He stops his shuffling to allow for a fleeting moment of horror in which he considers the very real possibility that Levi has thrown it out. He shakes his head; Levi would never betray him like that. Yet he looks for another half hour and his paranoia grows by the minute. He has to leave for the capital in a couple of hours and he wants it with him.

He’s at the bottom of the drawer now – desperate – in the territory of shirts long forsaken. He accepts defeat and slides down against his dresser. Clothes are littered everywhere and the chaos of it all triggers something deep within him, makes his breathing hard.

He never lets himself feel overwhelmed, he can’t afford to, but right now he wishes that just once in a while everything weren’t so hard. He closes his eyes and rubs at his temples, curses the military police for summoning him to the capital. He curses the crown, too, for never failing to ensure that his already arduous task becomes even harder. It’s pathetic, he thinks, that when he curses the titans next it’s for his missing shirt.

Because he wouldn’t even know how to begin blaming the titans.

He hears the scuff off boots on hardwood floor and looks up to find Levi glaring at the mess, one hand clutching his missing shirt. It looks crisp and laundered - cleaned and ironed to Levi’s standards, which is nothing short of perfection.

“I assume you were looking for this,” Levi says calmly as he lays down the shirt on Erwin’s bed. He expects a quality scolding, but instead Levi just crouches before him and runs a hand through his blonde hair. His palm settles against his neck and caresses him softly.  
  
“and then when you couldn’t find it you spiraled into your depressing thoughts, right?” He brings his other hand up to grip Erwin’s chin. For the second time that day Erwin is at a loss as to how to articulate what he is feeling.

“You are…so good,” is all he manages to croak. It doesn’t capture an ounce of the adoration and love bubbling in his chest but for all his charm and charisma he can’t do better than that right now.

“Get up,” he demands, “it’s unbecoming for the Commander of the Survey Corps to sit on the floor.”

“And,” he finishes, “clean all this shit up.”


	6. A tribute to Erwin’s thighs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dedicated to highchous.tumblr.com

“Who the  _fuck_  are you.”

Levi’s walked into Erwin’s room to find a random man sitting on the commander’s bed, towel draped across his lap. The man hesitates to speak – looks about ready to piss himself – when Erwin comes out of his bathroom topless.

“Oh shit, sorry,” Levi immediately splutters, cheeks reddening. He’s mortified because he’s never seen Erwin intimate with anybody, and the thought that he has a lover in his quarters stirs all sorts of emotions within him - emotions that he’s not ready to address. He turns to leave when Erwin’s deep chuckle makes him stop in his tracks.

“Levi, this is my masseur. My muscles have been a little tense lately so I hired Ed for an hour.” He indicates towards the man, Ed, who is looking down at his shoes. He looks positively uncomfortable.

“Oh,” Levi gapes once again, feeling like an even bigger idiot now. Then a thought occurs to him. “Erwin, can I speak to you for a minute.”

Erwin raises a brow but agrees, offering Ed a polite apology. He follows Levi out into the corridor.

“You’re going to let some random guy near you whilst you’re unarmed and vulnerable? Have you forgotten how many enemies you have?” Levi is genuinely concerned, and he’s surprised that Erwin hasn’t considered it already. He’s also trying very hard not to ogle his chest. “How do you know he isn’t an assassin or some shit?”

Erwin seems amused at the idea. The corner of his mouth has dragged up a bit and he’s analysing Levi’s face carefully.  _What are you thinking about you bastard._ “You’re right, captain. I should be more careful,” he agrees.

Levi feels a wave of relief that he will in no way allow Erwin to see. “Damn eyebrows. Send him away and i’ll get one of the brats to come massage your perverted ass instead.” He hums for a bit before smirking wickedly. “I’ll get Eren to do it.”  
  
Erwin pales a bit at the suggestion, and it takes all Levi’s got not to laugh at the image of Eren violently clobbering the commander’s back whilst he writhes in pain.  
  
“I have a better idea, Levi. You can stand guard whilst Ed works, and that way you’ll be there should he attempt anything.” He’s mesmerised by the bob of Erwin’s throat, at the rippling muscles of his chest that seem to beckon him every time they move.

“Fine,” he sighs. He really doesn’t want Erwin alone with someone he doesn’t know.

They walk back in and Ed stands up, begins preparing his lotions and his towels. Levi stands by the window with his arms crossed and glares at him, communicating all sorts of threats with his eyes.

Then suddenly Erwin is taking off his pants and Levi is about to shit his own because holy Maria Erwin has the nicest fucking thighs he’s ever seen. They’re firm and thick and nicely shaped, perfectly proportioned to his hips and his legs.

His brain is short-circuiting, sending error messages, and his throat has dried up. He suddenly feels a gravitational pull towards them, wants to suck on the tight muscled flesh. He had no idea that Erwin would be taking off his pants and _fucking Sina he’s removing his underwear too._

He quickly faces the window whilst Erwin undresses, trying to get his mind and body back under control because whilst he’s long accepted that Erwin is attractive he has never seen him naked beyond his torso.

He risks a look and notices that he’s lying on his front now, Ed having placed a towel on his backside, so he allows himself to turn back around again even though his cheeks are still burning hot. Erwin’s face is buried in a pillow so at least he can’t see.

He watches as Ed pours some warm oil onto Erwin’s broad back and massages the skin, using his thumbs to smooth it out in circles. Erwin is littered with scars but it somehow accentuates the taut muscle he’s packing. The masseur’s hands captivate him with the way he works Erwin’s back, and after a while Levi thinks that maybe this isn’t as awkward as he originally thought it would be.

But then Ed skips Erwin’s ass and moves to his thighs, pulling and kneading at the flesh with oily hands. He can see the muscles glistening and yep his pants are definitely tighter now.He should look away, shouldn’t let his thoughts wander, yet he can’t. He is completely rapt, consumed, enamored by those large delectable thighs. He imagines kissing and nibbling on them, licking his way up to the prize in between and  _wow where did that come from._

At this point he is sporting a very large boner and he shuffles a bit to reorganize his junk, hopes that Ed doesn’t see. He doubts he would say anything even if he did because the guy is so nervous he could rival Berthold. Erwin turns his face to look at him and suddenly Levi is taking in his whole image: his handsome face resting on his muscled arms, the stretch of his large toned body on the bed, the gleam of his sensuous limbs, the curve of his back and ass. He feels his cock give an interested twitch.

“He’s very good, Levi. Perhaps you should take a turn. I’m sure Ed can stay back a bit.” He is the picture of relaxation.

“Nah, I’m good,” Levi tries to say smoothly, but his voice is rough and he immediately curses himself.

He thinks he sees Erwin’s eyes widen in amusement for a bit but it’s so fast he can’t be sure.

There’s a knock on the door and Levi almost jumps. Mike walks in holding a couple of documents and Levi is about to screech because  _Mike is going to see Erwin like this._

But the man doesn’t even bat an eyelid, seems completely unfazed. Just murmurs a quick “hey Ed” before turning to Erwin. Levi grabs his arm and twists him around.

“Wait – you know this guy?” he says, pointing towards the flustered masseur.

Mike flicks his bangs out of his face and gives Levi an unimpressed look. “That’s Ed, he’s been Erwin’s masseur for ages.”

Levi frowns, confused. But if that were true why didn’t he just tell Levi that he knew him well? He turns his head to confront him when he notices that Erwin’s eyes are on his crotch, a wide smirk stretched across his face.  
  
_I am so fucked._


	7. Tickles and Bugs

He’s on his hands and knees, crouching, trying to determine what it is. Levi stands a whole five meters behind him, both scandalised and repulsed.

“Erwin what the fuck is it.”

“I’m not sure, i’ve never seen this type of insect before.”

Levi is holding a can of bug spray, up on the couch now to get a better look, not that he can see anything from where he is.

“It’s damn filthy, just kill it already. Don’t squash it! Here take the spray.”

Erwin has a better idea.

He cups his hands together and pretends hes captured it, turns around. He smirks as Levi’s eyes narrow dangerously. He’s already wary, inching back slowly and preparing an escape.

“Don’t you fucking dare, I will-”

He runs at him and Levi screeches, tongue in the air like a cartoon. He scrambles off the couch and Erwin, ever the perceptive one, quickly blocks the door that leads to the rest of the house. Levi is trapped now, having nowhere else to go except for the kitchen.

He would duck between outstretched legs but he doesn’t want to risk having the thing dropped on him from above, so he protects himself from behind the coffee table instead. Erwin is doubling over in laughter, enjoying this way too much.

“You bastard, this isn’t fucking funny!”

“Oh, but it is, it really is.”

He opens his mouth to respond when Erwin suddenly lunges forward without warning, jumping over the coffee table and pushing him onto the couch.

Erwin climbs over him and Levi gasps in horror as large hands unclasp over his chest, releasing the unwelcome critter. His eyes are wide and panicked as he looks down, only to find nothing there.

Erwin gives a smug smile as Levi glares at him, doesn’t give him the chance to say anything before he moves his palms down either side of his small frame and starts tickling him.

Levi claws at his hands, curls up into a little ball. Even he can’t help but close his eyes and laugh because his ribs are the the most sensitive part of his body, second only to his neck.

“S-stop, you bastard!” Erwin stops tickling and takes in Levi’s face, his wide onyx eyes and cheeks dusted with pink. He is beautiful and he presses a kiss to his little boop nose.

Levi brings his hands up to hold his face, still panting a little. “I hate you,” he whispers.

Erwin kisses his nose again, then the corner of his mouth.

“I know.”


	8. Quiet Questions

Erwin is seated at his desk in front of his maps, organising the next expedition. Levi watches him work in a trance, teacup in hand.

He hates those maps.

It has always bewildered him how little shapes on paper translate into real consequences beyond the wall. One well-meaning arrow drawn north sends good soldiers south. One square drawn for a resting spot could very well mark a burial site. No matter how many times they do this, he can’t understand it, probably doesn’t want to, doesn’t want to accept that a long stroke of ink has sealed his, someone’s, death.

“Erwin, do you ever think that we’re…worth more than this.” He speaks before he can stop himself and he instantly regrets it.

Erwin looks up at him, silent, contemplating. “Shit, forget it,” he splutters, embarrassed. He doesn’t like attempting to be poetic, he was never raised to think deeply. The only philosophy his upbringing taught him was that of survival.

Erwin looks back down at his maps, the atmosphere becoming both quiet and intimate.

“It was the hardest thing to adjust to when I became commander,” he says, “having people’s lives in my hands like this. Writing up battle plans were difficult because every time the paper absorbed the ink I would see flashes of soil drinking blood.”

Levi is quiet, unmoving, as Erwin continues.

“Our soldiers may die with a legacy that doesn’t stretch beyond a failed map, but it doesn’t change the fact that they did their duty, and that we did ours by doing our best.” He doesn’t know how Erwin understood what he was trying to say when he barely understood it himself. He’s always had difficulty articulating his thoughts.

“Because you see, Levi, all we can really do is our best…and we’re worth that. Humanity deserves that, even if it does look like this.” Erwin gestures to the maps and Levi nods, throat tight. They’re silent for a while and everything is still. After a while Erwin goes back to his work and Levi continues thinking about his words.

Erwin falls asleep on his map and Levi takes it out from under him so that it doesn’t get wrinkled. He pushes Erwin’s bangs out of his face and watches him for a while. He discovers ink on his cheek and forehead and smiles to himself.  


_Humanity deserves this…but it doesn’t deserve you._


	9. The Day Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt: I am totally in need of eruri in the night before their wedding and one of them is going toootally crazy about everything and the other is playing the mother hen. If you don't mind writing that is ouo/ Just my mysterious needs in life ..

He’s lying on his back thinking about tomorrow.

Tomorrow: the day that will mark his biggest accomplishment to date.

Perhaps it’s wrong to consider marrying Levi a ‘success’, after all, he is not an object to be won; gaining his love is not a challenge to be fulfilled. He is a partner, an equal, and, dare he say, his soul mate (even though Levi hates that term).

Yet Erwin can’t help it, can’t help but feel like he really has won the ultimate prize. He hardly knows what he did to deserve him but the anticipation keeps him up well into the night.

He hears the front door creak and he shoots up, grabs for the baseball bat under his bed. But then his bedroom door is opening and Levi is standing there, clad in his pajamas right down to the slippers.

“Levi,” he gasps, “what are you doing here.”

“I used your key. I know we’re not meant to see each other and all that bullshit, but…” His stance is coy and unsure, and he has the most adorable case of bedhead.

“You’re nervous,” Erwin states, feels fondness bloom throughout his body, “come here.” He stretches his arms out and Levi practically flies to his chest. He holds him tight, one arm around his waist and the other cradling the back of his head, massaging his undercut.

Levi tilts his head back so that his throat is against Erwin’s chest, brings his arms around Erwin’s neck. “What if you get sick of me,” he asks, voice low and anxious.

Erwin laughs, barely believing what he’s hearing. “Levi, I don’t think that’s possible.”

“I’m scared,” he confesses. It comes out of nowhere and Erwin works hard to conceal his surprise because it’s rare for Levi to be this honest, this vulnerable. If he reacts Levi might never open up.

“Why?” he rasps. He feels the first tinglings of anxiety beginning in his chest.

“All marriages end in shit and – ” Erwin stops him right there, presses a hard kiss against his soft lips. “I love you,” he says firmly.

Levi frowns a little but keeps going, undeterred. “…I just…I don’t know…I don’t want to disappoint you – ” Erwin doesn’t want to hear it so he kisses him again, whispers “I love you” against his mouth once more.

“Stop damnit! Would you listen to me? What if –”

“No.” Erwin blurts forcefully. He quickly picks Levi up and lays him on the bed, straddles his hips and holds his arms above his head. He kisses him hard for the third time, and then continues to press his mouth against the rest of his face. “I said I love you. You’re worth every single ‘if’ and ‘but’ your mind can create.” Levi is looking up at him, grey eyes blown wide and body trembling a little.

“So tell me, Levi, am I worth it?”

“Yes,” Levi answers, not a moments hesitation. His eyes are moist with the threat of tears and Erwin feels his own heart thumping wildly. “Yes, jesus fucking christ Erwin…of course you are.”

He lets his arms go and lies back, flips Levi on top of him. Levi nuzzles into his neck and Erwin breathes in the scent of his hair. “Imagine, Levi. Every single night will be like this.”

Levi releases a puff of air, it is relief, it is ease. “Will you tell me you love me every night?” he whispers against Erwin’s neck.

“Every single night.”

“Promise?” 

Erwin kisses his eyelids, his left and then his right.

“I promise.”


	10. Mario Kart and Sex

Erwin is the undisputed Mario Kart champion. He has memorised all the tracks and has a plethora of tricks up his sleeve. He leads all his competitors into the sharp ditch on Donkey Kong Mountain. He slows down and lets someone overtake him when a blue shell is approaching. Even every banana is placed both strategically and meticulously to ensure maximum results.  
  
Levi refuses to play with him anymore. He has long stopped competing with Hange ever since they proved themselves incapable of keeping their Wii remote secured to their wrist during excitable fits, of which there are many. Mike never cares enough to be a real challenge.   
  
Its been too long since he felt the rush of a golden mushroom, or heard the satisfying pelt of a red shell against a target. And so he begs Levi, who is actually quite a decent player.  
  
“No fucking way, then you’ll get that smug face all day and it will piss me off.”

“I don’t have a smug face Levi, that’s just my face.”

“Trust me eyebrows, you do.”  
  
Erwin realises that he will have to negotiate. “If you play with me, I’ll agree to an extra thirty dollars a month from our savings for cleaning supplies.”  
  
“For how long?” he inquires with a raised brow.  
  
“The next two months.” He has Levi’s attention, but it’s not enough. He has to add the x-factor. “And,” he hesitates, “i’ll let you top me tonight.”  
  
They’re playing Mario Kart within ten minutes. Levi loses almost every round and is too angry for sex later on, exactly as Erwin planned.  
  
He asks to top the next day and Erwin kindly informs him that the offer was only for the night before. 


	11. Giggles and Shaving Cream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANONYMOUS: Eruri prompt: Erwin giggles when touched behind his ear (Loved your "thighs" one ;) )
> 
> birbwin.tumblr.com

He stopped listening to him around a minute ago. 

He’s perched on the windowsill behind Erwin’s desk, as is his custom, and has been unable to focus on anything except for the shaving cream he has spotted behind Erwin’s ear.

He knows better than anyone that Erwin is a busy man, but surely even he has a fucking second to check himself over in the mirror. Although, he muses, it does seem oddly befitting for the commander.  _This ingenious dolt._

He renews his efforts, trying once more to focus on what Erwin is saying. It’s important, he knows this. Humanity, titans, the expedition, something about consequences for their budget, the usual about death tolls. But still, the smear of shaving cream competes for his attention.

“- and if we can make it to this clearing here within two days that should give us enough time.”

Erwin is looking down at his maps, and Levi can’t take it anymore. He jumps off the windowsill and stands behind Erwin’s chair, swipes at the cream with his thumb.

Erwin is taken completely by surprise and instantly jolts forward, instinctively moves one hand up to his ear in a protective gesture. Levi didn’t get to finish the job and he’s heavily invested now, so he reaches forward again.

“Shitty eyebrows, just hold still you’ve got something -” He strokes behind his ear again to get at the remainder when suddenly Erwin bursts into a laugh. 

Except ‘laugh’ is the wrong word; a laugh would imply that the sound had some dignified quality to it.

No, the sound that comes out of Erwin’s mouth is a giggle, a real, actual giggle. He stops his ministrations and gapes, feels like he’s having an out-of-body experience. It is unnatural coming from someone of Erwin’s size and status.

 _The Thirteenth Commander of the Survey Corps, giggling like a little girl from a single touch._  “Cute,” he mutters absentmindedly.

Erwin stops tittering and has a slight blush, looks visibly embarrassed. He turns around to face him. “Ah – I apologise, I’m a tad sensitive behind my ears.”

Levi’s stores the information away.

Erwin cleans the rest of it off with his own large hand and turns back to his work. The moment is gone and Levi says nothing, just returns to the windowsill and desperately tries to memorise the syrupy jingle of Erwin’s laugh.  
  
*

The next expedition is a failure. Too many men and resources lost for too little gain. As usual Erwin wastes no time in planning the next one, although his eyes are harder than usual and the lines of his face more firm. His speech is polite as ever, but his words are coated with a cold sort of aloofness.

Levi learnt a long time ago that Erwin does not mope, but he does have his own brand of grief. It manifests itself in detachment and renewed vigor for the cause.

He storms into the commander’s quarters a week after the expedition, finds Erwin lying on his couch staring up at the ceiling. He nods at Levi but otherwise doesn’t move.

Levi knows he’s thinking – assessing and compartmentalizing his thoughts; he does it all the time. But his eyes are still hard and his mouth is still set in a thin line.

He realises he is starved for Erwin’s warmth. 

Before he knows it he has stalked up to the couch and is standing beside Erwin’s head. He moves his hand behind Erwin’s ear and strokes the skin slightly, waits for the eruption of giggles.

It doesn’t come, but Erwin’s eyes light up and a small grin spreads across his face. Levi feels his skin tingle and warm up, the chill dissipating.

“Thank you, Levi. I’m fine.”  _It was more for me, if only you knew._ He wonders if the commander knows how many people use him as a source of comfort.

He doesn’t know what to say so he employs his usual tactic, which is to say nothing. Erwin’s grin has faded into a small smile now, an echo of something greater, but he moves to sit straight on the couch. Levi sits next to him, closer than necessary.

Erwin looks down at the floor for a while before speaking. “Would you like to go to the bar? I think we all deserve a break.” He hates the bar – it’s a filthy place with stinking drunkards and clingy admirers.

Yet he can’t recall ever agreeing to any proposal faster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> birbwin.tumblr.com


	12. Coleslaw and Cheesy Moments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked: This is pretty tame ik, but how about eruri eating a picnic? Coleslaw very involved.
> 
> birbwin.tumblr.com

“What do we do now?”

“We…enjoy the scenery. And each other’s company.”

“Oh,” Levi remarked stupidly, turning his gaze back to greenery before him. He watched a kid get tangled in the seat of a swing-set.  _Fucking idiot kid got owned._

“Won’t we look like old perverts just watching people like this?”

Erwin sighed, lying down completely on the picnic blanket they had rolled out. He put his arms behind his head and turned to face his socially stunted boyfriend. “No Levi, it’s normal. Everyone comes to the park to laze around, it’s expected that you will people watch…to some extent.”

He couldn’t believe his ears when Levi said he had never actually had a picnic at a park. Erwin thought it would be endearing to bring him here, tempted to play out all his romantic visions of kissing and cuddling on a blanket. He envisioned Levi’s head in his lap as he toyed with his dark locks, perhaps speaking sweetly to each other as their hands wandered and roamed.

Instead Levi was sitting a good two meters way from him, scowling at the critters threatening to trespass onto the blanket. Still, Erwin thought, it was worth it to bring him here just to the see the blatant overreaction that was Levi’s picnic attire. He wore a hat and sunglasses, despite it not being that sunny, and had lathered sunscreen onto his skin. He could even see some aeroguard spray popping out of his bag, and it wasn’t even mosquito season.

“Hey,” Erwin prodded, ripping Levi’s gaze away from a particularly offensive shrub, “you’re cute.”

“Tch, weirdo.” But he offered him a small smile anyway, his grey eyes twinkling alongside a dimpled cheek.

Erwin watched as he scratched at his arm, looking like he was at a total loss at what to do. He decided to be merciful. “Should we eat now do you think?”

Levi was quick to agree and immediately began to unpack the cooler. “What the fuck is this?” He was holding a container of coleslaw.

“It’s coleslaw…you don’t like it? It tastes good on brea-”

“You’re not eating this.”

“Well actually, I am.” He took the container from Levi’s hands and grabbed for a spoon. “And so are you.”

Levi gave a bitter and amused laugh. Shook his head and continued digging in the cooler for their sandwich meats. When he turned around he was met with a spoon of coleslaw.

“Eat it,” Erwin commanded.

“Don’t make me throw up in my own damn mouth,” he responded indifferently. “That’s nasty and you’re not coming anywhere near my mouth if you eat that shit.”

Erwin pouted a little, dejected, before taking the spoon back and eating it himself. He ate quietly as he watched people stroll by with prams, kids practically grating themselves on the gravel pavement as their parents dragged them along.

“Oh fucking hell,” Levi sighed, “don’t look so fucking sad about it. Give it to me, I’ll eat some.” He moved to plop down in Erwin’s lap and ring an arm around his neck, taking the spoon from him aggressively. Erwin grinned as he ate a spoonful.

“How does it taste?”

“Like a dog took a shit in my mouth.”

“It can’t be that bad, surely.”

“Well I’ve never tasted dog shit, but if I’m using my imagination I’d say this is what I’d expect it to taste like.” He gave a deep laugh as Erwin grimaced at the image. He put the coleslaw aside and began preparing their sandwiches, Levi now resting his head on his broad chest.

He offered Levi a sandwich, but he shook his head. “Feed me, i’m tired.”

“Is that so?,” Erwin laughed, his chest bursting at the seams with fondness. Levi always managed to be effortlessly endearing. “You haven’t even done anything today.”

Levi just stretched out his head and took a bite from the sandwich in Erwin’s hand. He chewed slowly and then tilted his head back to look him in the eyes.

“Erwin…”

“Mmm?”

“Did you fucking put coleslaw in my sandwich?”

“Yes…I did.”

“Huh,” Levi hummed, stretching out to take another bite, “not bad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> birbwin.tumblr.com


	13. Jean has a really really bad day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was a sequel to districtsandwizards' fanfic, which you can read here (and i highly suggest you do!): http://districtsandwizards.tumblr.com/post/121189316895/based-on-birbwins-post-about-there-needing-to-be
> 
> birbwin.tumblr.com

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> birbwin.tumblr.com

[[Jean [walking in on eruri](http://birbwin.tumblr.com/post/120856986791/okay-jean-walking-in-on-eruri-week-needs-to-be) is great, but you know what’s even better? The inevitable aftermath. Because you just  _know_  Erwin is the type of bastard to call him back later on, you know, to smooth over some of the awkwardness.]]

~~~~~

He walked towards the commander’s door, limbs dragging like lead and nerves raging.   
  
So what if he saw the commander fucking captain Levi? People have sex. Almost every living thing copulates. He learnt that in school, it’s natural. It’s biology. It shouldn’t matter. If cockroaches have sex, why shouldn’t the commander? What is the difference between cockroaches and humans, really? Aren’t we all just variations of flesh, brain, and bone? 

He tries to approach the situation from a detached, scientific standpoint and by the time he’s in front of Erwin’s door he thinks he’s got it together.  
  
He knocks and hears the commander say “enter.” Just the sound of his deep voice makes his cheeks burn and his nerves fire up all over again and  _holy fucking shit Kirstein get it together._

He opens the door and the commander is sitting behind his desk. Jean takes one look at his face and is assaulted with the imagery he has tried  _very hard_ to suppress all day, and there is nothing more he wants to do than abort this mission and run. 

“Sir,” Jean salutes as he walks forward. He looks just behind Erwin’s head out the window, because he would rather be burnt alive than make eye contact right now.

“Thanks for coming Jean, have a seat.” He nods and plops down into the chair across from him. He is very conscious of the fact that he is a few centimeters away from the edge of the desk where the captain was getting his brains fuc-

Erwin clears his throat and intertwines his hands, clearly a little uncomfortable himself. “I would like to apologise for what you had to witness earlier today, on the captain’s behalf too.”  _The captain seemed anything but regretful to me_ he criticised silently.He was suddenly very grateful for the fact that Levi wasn’t here too.

 _“_ It was completely unprofessional and unacceptable conduct, and as a young cadet you should not have had to find your superiors engaging in…such an activity.”

At this point Jean is starting to sweat in places he didn’t know he could. He has never been this uncomfortable in his entire life. “I understand, sir,” he croaks, thinking that the conversation will end there. To his horror, Erwin continues.  
  
“You see Jean, we work very hard and have very little time to ourselves, but at the end of the day we, too, have desires.” O _h my fucking god why me._

“What the captain and I share is a very special bond, one not only rooted in deep trust, but also devotion of an intimate nature.”  _Just fuck me with my 3dmg gear._

“When we…enjoy each other, we rid ourselves of a lot of stress and pressure. I suppose that in an indirect kind of way it helps the corps, because it helps us unwind and we think more clearly.” Erwin has the audacity to chuckle, as if he has just realised something nifty. 

Jean’s throat is convulsing, trying hard not to gag.  _Why was I even born, why couldn’t this have happened to Jaeger i’m a good person i don’t deserve this like yeah i could be better but i’m no criminal or heretic or some shit i was always good to my mom_

His palms are wet and his heart is pounding hard in his chest. The commander’s words have done nothing except reignite the image of Erwin balls deep in Levi’s ass, the captain moaning like a wanton whore. His face is probably red as fuck and his eyeballs hurt from forcing himself to stare intensely at anywhere except Erwin. He can’t remember the last time he blinked.

He thinks, suddenly, that perhaps the commander is trying to make him feel sorry for them so that he won’t betray their secret to anyone. “Commander, please,” he pleads, almost yells, “I-I won’t tell anyone! It’s none of my business.”

“Oh, I know you won’t Jean. I trust you, and I appreciate that.” Erwin flashes him a smile that would have once been charming, but now makes him want to curl up into a ball and sob. “I appreciate that you’re still very young…so if you had any questions about…what you saw, or how intercourse works, i’d be willing to discuss it with you.”  _Feed me to a fucking titan._  
  
“Y-yes s-sir, thank you sir.” He’s forgotten what it feels like to have moisture in his mouth, or dry skin in general. He just wants to leave, to go far far away. Erwin senses his discomfort and finally takes pity on him.

“Very well Jean, that will be all.” Jean salutes and scrambles out the door, scampers back to his bed and shivers away his trauma all night.

As soon as Jean has left Levi emerges from Erwin’s cupboard, shoots the commander an unimpressed glare.

“Fucking Sina Erwin, could you have made it any worse?”

Erwin pouted a little. “I thought it went very well.”

“He’s never going to have sex because of us.”

“He’ll move on,” Erwin stated firmly as he straightened the papers before him.  
  
Levi stood silently for while. “Did you see the way he was avoiding touching the desk?”

Erwin nodded with a devious smirk, “lucky he didn’t know about the chair he was sitting in.” 

They laughed for the next five minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> birbwin.tumblr.com


	14. The Daddiest Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> your-fiction asked:  
> eruri prompt: teacher au with levi the grumpy but secretly caring teacher and erwin the daddiest dad in the world. bonus, if you feel like it: eren and jean co-starring as the worst teenagers ever-- oh! and I'm really glad I found your blog because omg your ffs are so great!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> birbwin.tumblr.com

“The only reason you’re not getting detention for this is because your paper didn’t suck complete ass, do you understand that?”

“But sir, you have to admit the illustration is pretty good. Look at that fine attention to detail.” Levi glanced down at the essay, at the corner adorned with a giant, veined penis.

“Kirstein, just take your paper and sit the fuck down before I punch you in the throat.” Stupid equine fuck was always testing his patience.

Jean huffed as he took his paper. “It’s illegal to threaten students with physical violence,” he mumbled as he walked to his seat.

“Sir can I have my paper back now?” Eren yelled from the back of the room.

“You’ll get your paper when I call your name Jaeger, and what part of sitting silently in the loud idiot kid corner don’t you understand.” Eren groaned as he turned back to face the wall. He had been banished to the corner desk permanently since the start of the semester because he was far too excitable around other students. The kid was like a damn ferret, even looked like one on some of his worst days.

He handed back the rest of the papers just as the school day ended, relieved to find that none of the kids remained behind to complain about their grades.

He wiped the board as the kids filtered out, noticing that Armin was speaking to a big blonde man at the classroom door. He watched them as they conversed, both curious and a little concerned. He wasn’t enough of a prick to not care about students speaking to strangers, even if they were almost seniors. He saw Armin nod sullenly and walk out, leaving the blonde to turn to Levi with a polite smile.  _Wow okay, blondie is hot._

“Mr. Ackerman? Hello, I’m Armin’s dad. Please call me Erwin.”

Levi raised a slim brow, wondering what this could be about. “Interesting,” he commented as he very obviously looked him up and down. He wore jeans with sneakers and a dress shirt that was a size too big on his large frame. He had to stop himself from visibly cringing at the bad taste.  
  
“Sorry to intrude, is this a bad time?” Erwin asked timidly.

“Well it is home time,” he scowled, not wanting to spend his afternoon with Armin’s very hot  _but very straight and unavailable_ dad. No, he was not bitter at all.

His bluntness gave birth to an awkward moment in which they stared at each other, Levi’s face expectant and Erwin’s a little amused. Levi thought about offering him a seat as a responsible teacher should, but the bastard probably got everything easy in life and he didn’t want to contribute to his privilege.

“Well…I’ll be quick. I just want to check on how Armin’s doing in class.” Levi sighed loudly, rudely.  _Of fucking course he’s another overbearing parent nit-picking on every little thing their child does. Probably lives uptown in a fancy two-story house with a dog named Lucky._

“Armin is an over-achiever, as i’m sure you know. His academic performance is excellent bordering on genius. I’m not sure what you could possibly be concerned about.”

“Hmm,” Erwin hummed, “he told me that his grades have been falling lately. He’s been studying hard into the night and even asked if he could buy some red bull. I said absolutely not, but that he could have some blue cow.”

Levi looked at him blankly. Erwin looked right back at him with a toothy grin. “Get it, because it’s the opposite of ‘red’ and ‘bull’.”

“Wow,” Levi commented, unbelieving. “That is the worst fucking joke I’ve ever heard in my life.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure your wife finds it hilarious” he added when Erwin’s grin dissolved into a pout, cerulean eyes flickering with hurt.

“Ah, I apologise. Armin does frequently remind me that me I have a terrible sense of humor.”

He took on a serious tone again, “Anyway, he tells me that he’s having a hard time in class, that he’s being picked on by the other students and it’s affecting his ability to concentrate on homework. He has been so upset at home for the last few weeks that I’ve done everything in my power to cheer him up, even going so far as to buy him some computer games. I figured it would be better to speak to you directly, I just regret not coming sooner.”

Levi burst into a loud hysterical laugh, causing Erwin’s eyebrows to draw together in an ominous frown. “Mr. Ackerman, bullying is not something to be laughed at,” he warned, voice dangerous.

Levi was practically slapping his thigh at this point. “I assure you, Armin is not being bullied. That kid has every student wrapped around his finger, he is practically the alpha around here.”

“What?” Erwin spluttered, confused. “That…makes no sense. He told me-”

“Mr. Smith I saw your son single-handedly psychologically manipulate two boys into being civil with each other because they were ‘disrupting his learning in class’ with their arguments. And those boys were enemies from day one – I’m talking brawls and punch-ups. You know what else he does? He gives  _essay feedback_  at lunch in exchange for food and money. He probably makes about fifty dollars a week. He has impeccable foresight and can read other students well, and he uses it to his advantage. Him and his posse monopolise bathrooms, sitting areas, lounge chairs in the library - and he pressures other kids to return their library books before they’ve finished with them so that he can use them for himself. Your son is an absolute dictator.”

“I…but what about his grades?” Erwin pulled a report card out from his back pocket, showed it to Levi.  
  
He analysed it carefully before handing it back to Erwin. “This report card is fake, and all those grades are incorrect. He’s made it look like he’s just managing B’s but he is far beyond that. I can show you my grades folder if you would like.”

Erwin just shook his head, “I believe you. But why would he do this?”

“He’s taking advantage of you, making you feel sorry for him so that you’ll buy him more shit. Well that’s my guess anyway – you did mention the games.”

Erwin looked down at the ground, gaze intense and shoulders hunched. Levi almost felt sorry for him, poor oblivious fucker getting played by his own brat. 

But then Erwin’s face was splitting into a stupid grin. “I…am so proud of him,” he announced, voice laced with pride and adoration.

“Well that’s just…fucked up.”

Erwin gave a hearty laugh, looking at Levi with something close to fondness. “It appears I’ve uselessly taken time out of your day, Mr. Ackerman. Please allow me to shout you a coffee in apology.” If he didn’t know any better he’d say he was being asked out.

“Nah ’gotta get home,” Levi retorted sharply, turning to his desk to collect his bag and carefully place his folders inside it.

“Ah, understandable. How about tomorrow then?”

Levi quirked an eyebrow, “really, Mr. Smith, it’s fine. You don’t owe me anything.”

“Please call me Erwin,” he insisted, “and regardless, I would still like to take you out…perhaps to dinner?” Erwin was leaning against the board with one arm now, handsome features pleading and muscled thighs crossed.  _Oh, I see._   _So it’s like that._

His mind was convulsing - Erwin is interested in him. Erwin is gay. Well…bisexual or pansexual or something.

But who gives a fuck because  _Erwin is hot_.

 _And Erwin wants to take him out_.

But he’s not going to give in that easily, even if he did want to jump his bones despite his horrific dad attire and dad jokes. The smug bastard had to work for it.

“Busy,” is all he said dryly.

“What, busy always? Busy indefinitely?”

“Yep.”

“I see,” Erwin said slowly. “Armin! Get in here.” Armin, who was apparently waiting outside the door, wobbled in nervously.

“Armin, if you can get Mr. Ackerman to agree to go on a date with me I will forgive you for lying to me and maybe consider not punishing you for the next three months. Do you understand?”  
  
Armin nodded, eyes downcast, avoiding his father’s intense and scrutinizing gaze.

“Hey, what the fuc-” Levi began, but Erwin quickly grabbed Armin’s arm and headed towards the door.   
  
“Thank you for your time, Mr. Ackerman,” he fare-welled, giving him a seductive wink, “see you at dinner.”

*

Levi was marking some papers when a shadow fell over him. He looked up to find Armin looming over his desk.

“Date my Dad.”

“Fuck off. I already told your creepy geezer I was busy.”

“C’mon Mr. Ackerman, we both know you’re interested. The way you checked him out when he came in? The way you tried to find out about ‘the wife’? Don’t make a fool of yourself - I heard and saw it all.”  
  
“Get back to your seat, brat.”

Armin shook his head, apparently in pity. “I thought you might be like this. I didn’t want to do this, you know. I’ve always considered us friends.”

He pulls out a piece of paper and hands it to Levi, who practically rips it from his palm with a scowl.

It is a bullet point list of every fucking rule he has broken as a teacher, which ‘ _include but are not limited to: swearing, threatening students with violence, belittling students with insults, smoking in the classroom at lunch, and intentionally preventing students from fostering healthy relationships with one another_.’ Eren Jaeger is cited as an example of his negligence as a teacher, the paper claiming that Armin has ‘ _very serious concerns about the state of his mental health and the long-term consequences of what is, in essence, his unfair solitary confinement_.’

He has even highlighted how his transgressions ‘ _break multiple state laws in conjunction with the school’s ethical conduct requirements_.’

“Date my Dad,” he repeats once Levi has finished reading it, mouth gaping and grey eyes wide in shock.

“Or,” he says quietly as he slides a card towards him, “I’ll send it in to the school board and make sure you lose your teaching license and never teach again.”

Levi looks down at the piece of paper. It’s Erwin’s business card with his personal phone number written across it.

“You’re one sick fucking family,” he says as he saves Erwin’s number into his phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> birbwin.tumblr.com


	15. A Catdads Attempt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> birbwin.tumblr.com

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> birbwin.tumblr.com

**[[A gift fic for[trashyeruri](http://tmblr.co/mkyWQ7MINqwa0NdrJgwWG-w) based on februeruri’s glorious catdads. Also inspired by [this](http://ghostsjogging.tumblr.com/post/82657020057/catdad-doodle-in-which-erwin-takes-naps-and-levi) amazing art.]]**

He woke up to the familiar feeling of a rough wet tongue grazing along his hairline, the sound a rhythmic  _schlick schlick_. He blinked sleep away and smiled lazily into the pillow as he recognised Levi’s low purr vibrating around him, the atmosphere warm as a womb.

Erwin stretched, ears folded, spine arched in a perfect bow, scraggly blonde tail high in the air as his claws caught in cotton. His own distinct purr emanated from his throat now, delighted by the feeling of Levi’s hands kneading his shoulders. He could feel him sheathing and unsheathing his nails as he applied pressure, every prick of a claw in his back injecting a shot of endorphins that travelled right down to his toes.

“Morning,” he mumbled, voice groggy.

Levi gave a non-committal grunt in response as he transferred his sandpaper licks to one of Erwin’s eyebrows, brushing it into place with meticulous attention. He was impossible to speak to during baths.

Next he draped himself over Erwin’s back as he moved on to groom his undercut. He could feel the undulating quiver of every purr against his neck, the _ppprrrrrrrrllp_ as Levi sucked at any clusters of blonde hair that fell in his path. The prickle of his tongue travelled south, all along his back, and Erwin let his face fall back into the pillows as his body both relaxed yet throbbed under the attention.

Eventually Levi stopped his ministrations, turning to himself instead. Erwin twisted his head to see Levi licking the drumstick muscle of his thigh, his naked leg lifted high beside his head. His eyelids fluttered closed as he groomed himself, a little pink tongue emerging to leave a wet trail of spittle along his skin. He only stopped when he felt Erwin scratching above his tail.

His leg instantly returned to the bed, and his purring stopped. He turned to Erwin with a scowl. “Stop that. You’ll make me horny.” He smacked Erwin’s hand away and lifted his leg back into the air, resumed washing himself.

Erwin chuckled at the point of his petite foot, at the way he was still holding onto the fingers he had supposedly slapped away. “Sorry darling, you’re just so irresistible.”

A “tch” was all his compliment won him. Erwin shifted his body, finally sitting up. He stretched again before embracing Levi from behind. He wrapped his arms around his chest in a tight hug and pressed his lips along his slender neck, wet kisses evolving into sucks and licks. Before he knew it, he too was grooming behind black triangular ears, rejoicing in the feeling of his tongue carding through his lover’s silky black hair.

His tail moved back and forth happily, swaying occasionally into the side of Levi’s face. Levi was nibbling lightly on his own knee when Erwin’s tail smacked into his calf, and he instantly grabbed for it, began licking stripes at the the fur all the way to the tip, the cherished  _ppppppprrrrrlllpp_ returning once more. Levi always purred the most in moments like these.

They remained wrapped in each other for the better part of an hour, washing, nibbling, licking. Levi eventually leaned back into his chest, a small smile on his lips and love in his eyes. Erwin licked his eyelid and then bit at his nose slightly. 

He was a happy man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> birbwin.tumblr.com


	16. He Wants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> birbwin.tumblr.com

The titans are not the hardest part of his job. The titans are what they are, stinking masses of flesh that defy physics as they stumble about in hunt. Levi long decided that for all their mystery, they are not complex creatures. Their need to consume, at a base animal level, is a simple one. The swipe of his blade on their nape is simple. The death of his comrades, even, has been made simple - there was life, and then there wasn’t.

Erwin Smith is not simple. Comforting Erwin Smith is not simple. 

Levi searches desperately for the cracks, tries to pry them open so as to peer into the dark trench within. He has looked, every now and then, but the black of Erwin’s psyche only gives birth to more black, and he finds he is no better off than when he first wrenched his way in.

It is in town when he first observes the small, telltale fissures. They’re in a café for a rest stop when he catches Erwin gazing at a young child being scolded by their father. At first Levi thinks it’s paternal nostalgia, childhood guilt coming out to play. 

But then he pinpoints it: a gentle brand of envy, melancholic and wistful. It softens his features, drives his large palm to cradle the side of his face.

“You’ll get to yell at your own brat one day.”

He’s not sure where it comes from, especially since it’s almost definitely not true. None of them expect to live long, let alone start a family. Even if they did survive the titans, they’re two men in a romantic relationship. It’s stupid and embarrassing, almost cruel.

Erwin just smiles at him, says “perhaps”. He picks up his tea and takes a polite sip. The conversation is a fleeting thing, it may have never even existed. 

Levi is starved for more. Erwin lets him in more than anyone else, but not all the doors are unlocked. He wants the master key, wants access to all the torturous thoughts and regrets that keep the commander up at night.

He wants to know everything Erwin desires, wants to know where his holes are so that he can fill them up with whatever makeshift cure he has to offer. He hates the thought of his gaping wounds gone unspoken.

He wants to feel secure in his grasp on this man, wants to know that if he pulls tighter, Erwin’s conscience will respond in kind, that his loose thoughts trapped in their morose orbit will compress into something comfortable and safe.

He wants so badly to be the gold that filters into the cracks, the cement holding him together.

_He wants._

But what he wants is not simple, and Erwin Smith is not a simple man.

Loving Erwin Smith is the hardest part of his job.


	17. gfdi Hange part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> birbwin.tumblr.com

They’re sitting in the tub, marinating in their post-expedition grief. Levi is tucked into Erwin’s legs, dwarfed by giant, scarred limbs. He drops his head back against the broad bust behind him, feels the fuzz of Erwin’s chest hair tickling his nape. The hot water has made them sluggish, pensive. Erwin moves his hands down Levi’s chest slowly, as if seeking to recharge through the contact. He nibbles now at the exposed pale neck offered to him.  
  
“Hey,” Levi prods softly as he traces random patterns on the crest of Erwin’s bent knee, “do you ever wonder what the titans think about?”  
  
Erwin opens his mouth to respond when there is a crash in the room across from them. The bathroom door opens with a bang and Hange stands in the doorway, deranged, manic. They’re panting and their grin is feral when they say “ _I thought you’d never ask”._  
  
[part one of ‘gfdi Hange’]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> birbwin.tumblr.com


	18. Commander Creepy

“Erwiiinnnn, our children are complaining about you!”

“Ha?” Erwin mutters stupidly as he places his documents down on the table. “They are? And please stop referring to the 104th as our children, Hange, it’s unprofessional.”

“Yep,” Hange chirps indifferently, “apparently they’re even calling you Commander Creepy!”

Cerulean eyes flicker with hurt.

Levi jumps down from his place on the windowsill, pulls out his blade. He’s gritting his teeth, eyes bulging. “Should I knife ‘em, Erwin?!”

“Appreciated, but unnecessary, Levi.” They share a quick peck on the lips and Hange swallows down a surge of vomit at the sight.

“Why is this Hange?” he continues, “How do you even know this?”

“Eren confessed during training that the newer recruits are intimidated by the way you just ‘appear out of nowhere’ all the time. Oh! And the way you invade people’s personal space when you speak to them. It kinda scares the hell outta them.”

“I see,” Erwin says, voice grave. “Surely it can’t be that bad.”

“Well…they’ve taken to sitting back to back in groups of four at all times, just to keep watch. They’re seriously scared of you creeping up on them. Apparently you made Connie piss his pants that one time when you grab-”

“Thank you for bringing this up with me, Squad Leader. I will rectify this at once, a good relationship with the cadets is vital if they are to trust me as commander.” Hange nods as she is dismissed, and everyone goes back to work.

*

Today he is unfortunate enough to sit back to back with Eren. It’s annoying, but still, it’s a small price to pay for protection. At least Mikasa is in their little safety square today. He can smell her hair and it smells so good…like girly sweat. He’s still trying to figure out what that means exactly when Eren elbows him in the ribs.

“Jean, stop day dreaming you dolt, if the commander creeps up on us one more time I don’t think Armin will survive it.”

“Yeah yeah, don’t shit yourself,” he mutters lazily as he swats Eren’s arm away. He supposes he probably should pay more attention, after all, Armin really is one commander-grab away from a nervous breakdown.

He resumes eating his sandwich when he feels a large hand clamp down on his shoulder. Judging by the way Eren is choking on bread, he has copped a hand on the shoulder too.

They turn around at the same time, eyes wide and terror-struck, as they are met with the commander’s face.

He has no time to consider how he materialized out of nowhere because he is now squeezing their shoulders,  _hard._

Eren whimpers as Erwin leans in close and whispers, “ _I heard you were talking shit.”  
_


	19. Dat Danchou Ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:  
> If you're still doing prompts can you do Levi accidentally walking into Erwin's butt?

Erwin has a habit of walking fast when he talks. Levi allows him to think that he trails behind him because his short legs can’t catch up. The reality is…less innocent.

He doesn’t listen as the commander speaks, long limbs practically leaping down the hallway. He’s just going to repeat the same shit later, being the repetitive bastard that he is. And whilst Erwin’s voice is nice - and fuck if that isn’t an understatement - it’s made better by the sight before him: firm, juicy globes that flex with every stride.

This is how it always is. He falls behind his commander everyday, eyes locked on the object of his desire. Yet it always ends with the same thought: life is cruel.

He’s almost ashamed that the lesson comes, not from the titans, but from his commander’s delectable ass.

Life really is cruel. It’s a truism constantly proven by the fact that if he wanted, he could just reach out and touch. A stretch of a limb would be all it takes. One signal from his brain to his arm, and he could have a palm full of Erwin’s cheek. He could knead it, squeeze it…do unspeakable things to it. 

At least he never has to lament over visual material for his spank bank. Working closely with the commander has taken care of that.

He doesn’t realise Erwin has stopped walking until he crashes into his backside. He bounces back from Erwin’s butt so forcefully that he has to hold onto him for purchase. Erwin looks at him over his shoulder, looks down at the two small hands groping his ass.

“Shit, fuck, sorry,” Levi splutters as he rips his hands away. “Don’t just stop like that, you massive fucking tree.” He can feel a fierce blush simmering on his cheeks, it burns more when Erwin examines his face closely.

“My apologies,” Erwin says stiffly. “You were so quiet I just wanted to make sure you were still there.”

They walk back to Erwin’s quarters in silence. Levi tries to regain his usual nonchalant, indifferent expression but his mind is short-circuiting. He touched it.  _He touched the butt._  He smiles to himself as he recalls the feeling - as short-lived as it was, he can’t recall feeling anything more amazing than Erwin’s ass in his hands. The way it just…felt so damn right.

Erwin sits behind his desk and says “you can put those down now.”

“Put what down,” he bites, confused and a little shitty that Erwin has interrupted his reverie.

“Your hands.”


	20. gfdi Hange part 2

He presses Levi a little tighter to his chest, slides one hand up under his nightshirt and caresses the warm skin of his back. The sun has barely risen but he loves these small moments in the morning, where all is quiet and every whisper is more intimate. He nibbles at Levi’s ear and the taste is uncharacteristically salty, but it doesn’t matter because he loves all things Levi. He noses into his hair and a contented sigh flutters from his lips before he can capture it. 

He then takes a deep whiff, but something isn’t right. The smell is an acrid concoction of sweat and other things he can’t name - doesn’t  _want_  to name, if he’s being honest. Levi would never smell like this, not even during an expedition. But still, he reasons, Levi is allowed to smell bad at least once in his life - he almost feels honoured to be the one to witness Levi this careless with his hygiene.  
  
He decides it’s time to wake his captain up, so he tickles at his ribs and kisses his neck. Levi giggles lazily into his chest. Erwin instantly shifts to turn on the lamp at his bedside table, because he cannot possibly miss a rare opportunity to see Levi laughing giddily like this - he didn’t even know he was awake. 

Except when he turns back around it’s not Levi in his bed. 

“So that’s how you manage to wake Captain Grumpy up!!” Hange chirps. They’re resting their head on their hand, elbow bent. They wear a wicked grin as their eyes twinkle with amusement. The traces of spittle from Erwin’s wet kisses on their neck glisten in the light.

Erwin screeches, high and undignified, and Levi instantly shoots up from the floor with a blade, hair pointed in all directions. “Th’fuck, Erwin!”  
  
“Hange!” Erwin yells, scandalised, repulsed, “what in Sina’s name are you doing in my bed?!”

“You shitty fucking four eyes,” Levi hisses from his place on the ground, voice groggy with sleep, “did you push me onto the floor?”

“You said you’d give me your decision about more funding for Sonny and Bean today!,” Hange defends, as if it were completely rational to climb into the commander’s bed, displace his lover, and demand answers at five in the morning.  
  
“Out! Get out, right now!” Erwin barks,  _loud._  He’s sure all the other squad leaders down the hall have woken up from his voice alone. Hange scampers out at the speed of light without so much as a peep. 

Levi stands from the floor, bones creaking, and takes Erwin’s hands off his face. “We have to wash the bedsheets now.” He states it like it’s an obvious truth.  
  
“Levi,” Erwin whimpers, crumpling in on himself, “I thought they were you. I…kissed them….I even got hard.” Levi lets go of Erwin’s hands as though he’s been burned.  
  
“That’s fucking filthy,” he gasps. Erwin sobs into his wrists and Levi drags him into the bathroom, bathes him and brushes his teeth for him so violently that his skin and gums are rubbed raw. 

He wraps Erwin in a warm blanket and cuddles him for the rest of the day, let’s him sniff his hair all he wants. 

It’s a week before Erwin is brave enough to embrace Levi in bed again.

  
  
[part two of ‘gfdi Hange’]


	21. Drunken Punches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: omg! can you write the drunk headcanon?! It sounds amazingly cute and sexy o.Ô please
> 
> [[Well, since you asked so nicely! headcanon]]

Levi doesn’t fall into one category of ‘drunk’. Rather, his sobriety is sifted out in stages as he evolves from cross to clingy. Erwin enjoys provoking him throughout all his drunken dispositions.

They’ve been at the bar for at least an hour. Levi’s face is flushed, his words becoming slurred, and Erwin calculates that he is at the peak of his irritability. Naturally, he leans over and kisses his pale cheek, knowing full well what’s to come.

Levi’s a little slow to comprehend what just happened, but once he remembers himself he scolds Erwin with a sluggish protest of ‘ _d’n do that_.’

Erwin smiles at him but doesn’t apologise. As soon as Levi turns back around to take another sip of his drink, he leans over again and kisses his neck.

“Stop tha’shit,” he hisses. Erwin laughs at the way Levi has a slender finger pointed at him in warning, his hand barely tightened into a fist, like a sleepy toddler trying very hard to be authoritative.

“Sorry darling, I won’t do it again,” he assures.

Levi, ever distracted, goes back to complaining about the people he works with: he hates them all, they’re incompetent swine, Oluo talks to him with coffee breath, horse kid leaves greasy finger prints on his glass desk when he drops off his paperwork.

Two drinks later and Levi is absolutely drunk. It’s tedious being the designated driver and Erwin needs to entertain himself somehow, so he plants another wet kiss right between Levi’s brows, feels the skin crinkle and fold under his lips as he scowls.

“I’said dun do that here y’shitty bastard!” He moves to take a swing at him and Erwin doesn’t even flinch, just leans back slowly, indifferently. Levi’s sense of distance is warped so his balled fist doesn’t travel very far, just lands pathetically on Erwin’s knee with barely any impact.

Erwin doubles over in laughter and it angers Levi enough to make him try again. This time he puts his whole body into the punch, but he’s so drunk that he ends up toppling forward into Erwin’s chest, his forehead planted just under his neck. His arms dangle uselessly by his side and he makes no effort to move.

He knows he’s far enough into his drink to be at his needy stage, so he kick-starts the process. “I’m disappointed in you, Levi,” he says with mock hurt in his voice, “trying to hit your boyfriend like this, and in public no less? How shameful.”

“I’m going to leave you here,” he lies, “I don’t want to see you anymore.” He pretends to grab his keys and wallet from his back pocket, just to give the impression that he’s being serious.

Both Levi’s eyes and mouth fly wide open in panic as he clings tight onto Erwin’s torso like a dying man pleading for life. He hurriedly nuzzles his way into Erwin’s neck and moves off his stool completely to clamber into his lap.

“Noo Erwin m’sorry,” he whimpers. “Please stay, d’n leave me!”

“M’sorry, m’sorry, m’sorry” he slurs repeatedly, his pleas punctuated by small hiccups. Erwin shushes him as he strokes his back, lets himself chuckle as Levi wraps himself around him like a tiny lemur on a tree branch.

“Well if you want me to stay you have to let me kiss you,” he argues.

Levi surfaces from his neck to consider his proposal, eyes red-rimmed and glazed over, mouth gaping a little, cheeks tinged with pink. Erwin wonders just how far gone he is, whether he has even comprehended what he said.

“Kay,” he says after a little while, “y’can kiss me.” He drops his head back onto Erwin’s shoulder with a small sigh, a little puff of air that is just as endearing as the rest of him.

It started as a game, a method of entertainment, but now he questions why he didn’t have a lap full of Levi from the start. He always feels so right in his arms and Erwin has yet another moment where he is overwhelmed, completely rapt with this perfect creature.  _Even after all this time._

“I’ll kiss you at home,” he decides as he pays with one arm and holds Levi with the other.


	22. Crisis

Erwin, Levi decides, is a man built for crisis.

They’re at Hange’s apartment at four in the morning. They are hysterical, bordering on delirious, because their computer has crashed, thesis lost in the cyber world.

Erwin arrives like he was born ready, wastes no time in systematically tackling the problem. He tells Hange that it’s a common occurrence, that there is no way it isn’t possible to retrieve the file in this day and age. It is a lot more helpful than Levi’s offering of “well it’s your fucking fault for not backing it up.”

Erwin has ordered them to go sleep whilst he looks for a solution on the laptop he brought with him. Hange leaves, albeit reluctantly. They only trudge off to bed after Erwin guarantees that he will have recovered the file by the time they wake up.

Levi hovers over him, not as close as he would like, but close enough to admire his solid form through his cotton shirt. He still smells like sleep.

“What do you know about computers,” he inquires, curious. Anything to hear the rugged quality of his voice this early in the morning.

“Absolutely nothing,” is Erwin’s immediate reply.

Levi raises a brow that Erwin can’t see, but can probably expect. “Then why did Hange call you here?”  
  
“I don’t know,” he says simply.

But Levi knows. It’s because his presence alone is assurance, comfort, relief. Erwin is so many words at once: reliable, headstrong, committed. Yet Levi has never found a single one to adequately describe him. He’s only here and awake because he has the misfortune of being Hange’s roommate, but even his spirits were revived once Erwin showed up.

Erwin is a soothing balm for the wounds he never knew he had, his abrasions only surfacing once he’s gone. He always wondered why he felt the unnamable void in his chest grow bigger every time Erwin left. He knows now it’s because he never realised that he didn’t feel secure in his own existence until he had a taste of the safety and warmth that is Erwin Smith. It is only when he’s gone that he feels…bereft, of what exactly he doesn’t know, perhaps everything.

He wonders what it would be like to date Erwin, to  _have_  this man, to memorise his solid presence by his side everyday and feel like he can breathe anew as his anxieties placate.  
  
“You were stupid to promise that. About the file, I mean.” He states as Erwin searches a name on Google, some high-ranking computer guru by the name of Nile Dok.

“Maybe they were stupid to believe me,” Erwin rebuts. Levi doesn’t say anything, just watches as Erwin confirms that this guy – his old friend – is still in the business of IT. Despite all rationality he finds that deep down even he trusts that Erwin will solve this. 

“They weren’t,” he says softly after a while. He blushes slightly because it feels like an admission of some sort. He’s glad it’s hidden.  
  
Erwin doesn’t respond but Levi can see his dimpled smile illuminated by the light of the laptop.


	23. Piranha

They’re in bed, pretzeled together and arguing over a breakfast location. “Waffle house,” Levi demands. 

Erwin shakes his head. “I really feel like bagels today, and they don’t have any there.”  
  
A small hand slithers down to grab Erwin’s length, simultaneously a bribe and a threat. “Waffles,” he repeats firmly.

Erwin smacks his hand away with an unbelieving chuckle. “Nice try, but i’m driving so I pick.”  
  
Levi scowls and Erwin immediately knows what that look foreshadows. He quickly tries to pry himself away but it’s too late, Levi’s teeth have already latched onto his arm. Levi looks up at him with fire in his eyes, brows furrowed. 

“This again,” Erwin mutters as he tries to shake his spoilt boyfriend off his arm. Levi lets go but instantly moves to bite the muscle of Erwin’s inner thigh. Once he does, he stills, determined, even as saliva pools in his mouth and threatens to spill.  
  
”You can’t always get your way just by biting me,” Erwin declares. He tries to scramble out of bed but every time he manages to move he finds Levi dangling from another one of his limbs like a tiny, angry, piranha.  
  
”Fine,” he finally hisses, flustered, as he throws himself back down on the bed, “we can go to the damn waffle house.” 

Levi’s lockjaw grip immediately releases Erwin’s ear and he smiles wickedly, celebrating another victory. 

He begins peppering Erwin’s body with kisses, gives particular attention to the small but inflamed bite marks. Levi moves to get out of bed when Erwin grabs his arm and leads his hand down to his half-hard cock.  
  
“I believe you promised me something.”


	24. Jean has really really bad day part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:  
> alright so I need more of jean finding our about eruri in the most hilarious ways do you have anymore

“ _Fuuck,_ just look at them,” Levi praised as he ran his hands up and down the commander’s delectable thighs, “so thick.” He sucked a bruise on the firm muscle, satisfied with the violent, purple hues that exhibited his ownership.  
  
“I still don’t like this,” Erwin grumbled, moving a hand to Levi’s shoulder nonetheless.

“No one will come in, everyone is on dinner clean up duty. Stop bitching about it - the sooner you let me suck your cock the sooner I get to escape the smell of horse shit.” 

He had been skeptical when Levi had taken his hand and dragged him into the stables, even more skeptical when he had dropped to his knees and started undoing his belt buckle. Now he had his back against a few bales of hay - his uniform pants pooled around his ankles - with only a ray of moonlight and a barely-lit lamp to illuminate the greedy little captain nuzzling at his clothed crotch.  
  
“We should just wait for the meeting to end, Hange and Mike are in my office waiting for us. This is -  _ha_  - inconsiderate, Levi.” The way he tugged at the silk of Levi’s hair when he bit lightly at him, however, betrayed his intention to stay. 

“You wanna wait another two hours for shitty-glasses to stop talking about how badly they want to fuck a titan for science? No fucking way, Erwin, I want to taste you and I want it  _now_.”  
  
“ _Sina,_  you’re debauched,” Erwin moaned as Levi pulled down his briefs in one swift motion and started licking at his half-hard length like a man starved. “That mouth of yours is  _filthy_.”

“Mmm, which part of it,  _commander”,_ he purred, “my words or my tongue?” He licked teasingly at the tip as though it would make the question a hard one.

“Both,” Erwin groaned. He carded his hands through Levi’s hair as he took him deeper. The sensation was overwhelming, and the idea of them doing  _this_  here, where any cadet could walk in and see the captain on his knees for his commander, did more to arouse him than he wanted to admit. 

Levi suddenly took him all the way, his cock sliding nicely down his throat, and he felt utterly overwhelmed at the slick pleasure. His eyes flickered shut and he grit his teeth, let himself throw all his weight against the bales of hay behind him, trusting that they would support him.

They didn’t. 

The bales toppled over and he went tumbling with them, half of him landing on the hard scratch of hay, the other on something relatively soft and fleshy.  
  
“Fucking oaf,” Levi sighed as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, looking completely done. He stood up straight and grabbed at the lamp they had brought with them, moving towards Erwin to help him stand.  
  
“What the hell is this?,” Erwin asked as he groped blindly at the confusing bundle of  _something_  he had hit hard on his way down. “Bring the lamp here, Levi.” Levi scowled as he shined the lamp over the area that Erwin was exploring. 

They collectively gasped as the form of  _Jean fucking Kirstein_  became apparent under the light. He was in some kind of upwards foetal position - lying on folded legs with his arms by his side, his hands pressing intensely against his ears. He was visibly shaking, his eyes closed tight, and even with the poor aid of their shitty lamp a fierce blush could be seen on his face.

Levi almost laughed as he saw Erwin’s eyes fill with recognition, then pure, unadulterated horror as he quickly tucked himself back into his briefs and pulled up his pants. “Jean,” he said softly, “what are you doing back here?!”. 

When there was no response he put a hand on his shoulder to shake him, but it just made the kid crumple in on himself some more. He tucked his head into his knees and brought his arms over his head as though seeking protection from falling objects.  
  
“Jean,” Erwin said, tender, as he shook him some more.  
  
“He’s traumatised as fuck, Erwin, stop touching him,” Levi sighed. He stepped over a bale of hay and kicked at his foetaled body lightly with a boot. “Get up kid, you’re not in trouble. It’s alright.”  
  
Jean whimpered, but didn’t move. Erwin went to grab at him again when Levi quickly caught his wrist. “You literally just fell on top of him with your dick out, Erwin, the last thing he wants is contact, get it?” he hissed, impatient. Erwin nodded sullenly as he sat on a bale, wondering how to coax the young cadet out of his current…form.  
  
“Look, Jean,” Levi started, “obviously this is awkward as fuck for all of us, but you don’t have to be a fucking brat about it. Just get up and let us make sure you haven’t shit yourself and we can all pretend this didn’t happen.”  
  
Minutes went by and he still didn’t move or speak.  
  
“Maybe he’s ashamed because he was caught spying on us,” Erwin proposed finally with an air of scandal and disgust.  
  
At that Jean shot up, just like he knew he would.

“I WASN’T FUCKING SPYING, I WAS SLEEPING,” he yelled with clenched fists, his eyes wide and face and neck flushed red. Erwin lifted an eyebrow and gave him a blank, unimpressed glare. “…Sir,” he added on tactfully.  
  
“Come to think of it,” Erwin drawled, “I don’t remember authorising  _anyone_  to sleep in the stables. Are  _you_  a  _horse_ , Kirstein?” He put up a hand to silence Levi before he could snort.   
  
“N-no, sir,” Jean mumbled, his eyes burning holes into the ground.

“Are we working you  _so_  hard that you collapsed in the stables, of all places?”  
  
“No sir,” he choked out reluctantly.  
  
“So, then, you were lingering uselessly in a place where you shouldn’t have been, and more than that, shirking your duties, correct?”  
  
“Correct sir.”  
  
“And now, because of that, you have witnessed something you shouldn’t have. True?”

“Yes sir.” Jean’s eyes were red-rimmed now, the small threat of tears in his eyes twinkling in the lamplight.

“We’re at fault to some degree, but you shouldn’t have been here  _at all_ , Jean. If you can pretend you didn’t see anything, and respect our privacy, you will go unpunished. Is that fair?” 

“Yes sir, thank you sir,” the boy sniffed, wiping at his eyes with a dirty sleeve.  
  
“Good. You can return to the barracks now, speak of this to no one. Good night.” Jean nodded, saluted, and stepped over clusters of hay awkwardly as he waddled his way out of the stables.  
  
“Fucking harsh,” Levi commented with a raised brow after he had left. “I told him he wasn’t in trouble, why’d you pull that shit?”

“Because, my sweet Levi,” he said as he grabbed a petite hand and brought it to his lips, “if you’re  _too_  apologetic you give the other person power over you, and I will not hand over that kind of power to anyone.”

“But  _we_  fucked up.”  
  
“As long as he thinks he fucked up more, he won’t tell anyone. We have our reputations to preserve, after all.” 

Levi sighed as he rubbed at his eyes. “Whatever, lets just go before Mike sniffs the scandal.”  
  
“He’s going to smell it either way,” Erwin purred, “so we might as well finish.” He smirked as he brought Levi’s hand to his crotch.


	25. Erwin is a big loser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> have some cheese

He plucks two cardigans off the rack and lifts them up, frowning as he notices the two pockets sewn on. He’s in one of those young, postmodern stores where everything is baggy, fluorescent, or littered with cheesy, pithy proverbs printed in French. He puts the cardigans back, offended, and picks up a pair of pastel purple skinny jeans instead. They find their way back to the rack at record speed. Christ, is this the state of men’s fashion today? He supposes it doesn’t matter though, because he’s not here for the clothes. 

No, he’s here for the gorgeous, celestial being currently manning the register. 

He was walking past the store when he saw the worker fluttering about, almost broke his neck at the double take he did when he laid eyes on him. The man, or boy, – he was hardly sure of his age – literally made him stop in his tracks and gape.

He had instantly walked in and pretended to browse as he eyed the dainty raven - a beautiful nymph, movements all graceful and effortlessly alluring as he slinked about the store. Loveliness incarnate. His hair, the blackest black, was parted over a neatly trimmed undercut, his lashes long enchanting awnings over silver-grey eyes. His neck, a tantalising cream, supported one of the most striking faces he had ever seen. He was all sharp edges with his pointed chin and his cutting cheekbones - even his eyebrows were slender like the rest of him. The delightful curve of his nose alone had his knees weakening.

“Oi, you gonna stop burning holes into our stock or what?”

He was pulled from his reverie by the deep, bewitching voice of none other than the newfound object of his affection. He tamed the roaring pulse of his heart before turning around to face him with a polite smile.

“I’m sorry?”

“You frown at everything you pick up. Why don’t you just fuck off to level seven where all the expensive shit is?” He pushed Erwin aside rudely to neaten the clothes he had fiddled with, muttering something along the lines of “Burberry-wearing bastard” under his breath.

He didn’t expect the crass mouth on him, but now he wondered how he could have ever imagined him without it. It seemed befitting somehow that this divine creature should be as venomous as he is beautiful. Isn’t that the way nature works, after all?

“Ah, I apologise. I’m just no good at picking casual wear. I’m afraid I’m a bit out of my depth here.” He motioned to the suit he was wearing and the boy barely looked in his direction. “Could you give me a hand?”

At that the worker turned to face him and Erwin’s eyes instantly darted to his nametag:  _Levi, store manager_. That was promising. If he was the head manager he had to be beyond twenty, at the very least.

“Please?” Erwin offered with a charming smile.

Levi raised a slim, unbelieving brow, but sighed in defeat. “Are you looking for anything in particular?”

“No…just anything that might suit me.” At that Levi looked him up and down as though seeing him for the first time, his eyes grazing over his attire, lingering on his crotch and torso a beat too long. Erwin smirked internally with unrestrained satisfaction.  _Got you._

“Well you’re old as fuck but we might still have something that would look alright. Come.” The words were curt, offensive, and yet, the sweetest of music. He meandered after Levi like a snake made drunk at the hand of a charmer’s flute – automatic, mesmerised, absent.

Levi wore black denim skinny jeans with a grey cotton t-shirt so long it stopped right above his knees, his small feet hidden in well-loved white converse shoes. The lanyard around his neck swayed side to side in tandem with the black silk of his hair as Erwin followed behind him. He craved to touch.

Eventually Levi led him to a change room. He turned around and dumped all the items he had selected into Erwin’s arms. “Knock yourself out,” he drawled before making his way back the register.

He sulked a bit as he entered the change room, violently disappointed that Levi hadn’t stuck around. Then again, he had to be rational – it’s not like he could have come in with him. He perused through all the clothes and noted that they weren’t half bad, Levi had somehow pinpointed his defintion of ‘acceptable’ and had chosen accordingly. Most of them were plain, yet not too daggy. He took off his tie and unbuttoned his dress shirt, hanging both up neatly.

He pulled off his dress pants and eyed his half-naked self in the mirror. He didn’t consider himself conceited, but even he couldn’t deny that he was something to look at. The abs on his chest were well defined, the ham of his thighs firm and thick. His neck, shoulders and arms were nicely proportioned to the rest of his body, all taut, straining muscle. It helped that he was conventionally handsome, even with his beak-ish nose.

All he had to do now was perform.

He pulled on a pair of navy ‘chinos’ that were just the right size, pleased to find that they hugged his backside. He grabbed one of the plain white t-shirts Levi had chosen and waited, patient. He was, at the end of the day, nothing if not an opportunist. He stood suspiciously silent in the change room, knowing that Levi would come any minute now to poke and prod. He was grateful that the store was quiet today.

He smiled to himself when he heard a harsh knock on the door. “Oi, you taking a shit in there?”

He pushed the change room door open with a hip just as he pulled the white top over his head, giving Levi an eyeful of his chiselled chest and the trail of hair that disappeared into his briefs. To his credit, Levi barely blinked. He pulled the rest of the shirt over his hips.

“What do you think?”

“Not bad,” Levi commented, eyes-half lidded with boredom. “Let me know if you need anything.”

He turned to walk away and Erwin found that he could not bare the loss a second time. He panicked as he grabbed his arm, apologised when his storm-grey eyes widened.

“Sorry - I do need help. Uh, your opinion, that is.”

Levi huffed, agitated, and cocked a hip as he folded his arms across his chest. “Look, buddy, I’m not your personal assistant. I know you’re probably used to being received like a celebrity with wine in one hand and some brown-nosed ass kissing staff in the other, but this isn’t fucking Gucci. If you like it, just buy it – shits cheap for you, I’m sure.”

He whipped around and walked with purpose to a door that read ‘staff only’.

Levi was immune to his charm, and for the first time ever he found himself insecure, wanting, unsure that he could secure this man’s affection like he thought he could. He was done playing games, brute honesty his only hope now. He padded after Levi through the door.

“What the fu - ”

“Go on a date with me,” he demanded in one confident, firm breath.

Levi gaped, unbelieving, before breaking out into a laugh. “Are you serious right now?”

“Yes. Very.” They locked eyes and Levi looked away, showing for the first time some sign of intimidation.

“You don’t even know if I’m into men.”

“Are you into men?”

“…maybe,” he scowled.

“That means yes.” He took a step forward and Levi took a tentative step back.

“Please,” he begged, because Levi had disarmed him of any semblance of dignity, tact or charisma he thought he had. “You’re breath-taking, and interesting, and i’m fascinated with the way you hold yourself together. I want to learn you, preferably over dinner.”

Levi scoffed but there was an unmistakeable tinge of pink on his cheeks. “What, you go around trying to charm everyone with that bullshit speech?”

“No, just you.”

“Look, I can’t stand around and humour you all day, I have a weekly quota to meet and you’re slowing me down.”

He would give Levi no way out.

“If I buy enough to meet your quota, will you agree to give me a chance?”

“Are you an idiot?” he quipped, “it’s two fucking grand.”

“I’ll pay it, I don’t care.”

“I knew you were one of those rich, wasteful bastards. You’d spend that much money just for a shitty date?”

“Time spent with you could never be a waste, i’m sure. And you don’t have to feel obligated to anything either, just one date, and if you feel we’re not compatible, I’ll leave you alone.” He raised both hands in a peacemaking gesture, as if it would somehow prove his sincerity.

Levi hummed, considering him intensely before sitting down on one of the chairs in the room. He was silent for a long while before sighing. “Fine, I’ll go out on one date with you, but on three conditions.”

Erwin already knew he’d meet all of them, even if one of them was to donate his liver or punch his grandmother in the throat.  He wanted to lunge forward and take his hand, bring it to his mouth and worship it with kisses of gratitude. Instead he nodded, calm and collected, barely able to keep his emotions in check.

“Firstly, you meet the quota like you said. I don’t take well to liars. It's basically the only reason i'm agreeing to this whole thing.” Erwin knew there had to be _some_ basic attraction for him to agree, but chose not to comment on it. It wouldn't do well to challenge him in his already precarious position.

He chuckled lightly instead. “Of course.”

“Second, if I find you’re as pretentious as you look and decide not to give you another chance, then you delete my phone number and never return to the store. You look like that clingy, denial type of guy.”

“I promise.”

“Lastly, you have to admit to that lame shit you pulled in the change room when you tried to flash me your chest.”

“You didn’t like my chest?” he pouted.

“Do you deny it?”

“No,” he admitted, ashamed. “I’m sorry, that was rather…embarrassing.”

“It’s alright,” Levi comforted, “you’re just hot enough that I can overlook the stupid.” For the first time, the words were playful rather than barbed, and Erwin found himself smiling at the insult.

Levi stood up, plucked a pen off his lanyard and glided over to where Erwin stood, still barefoot and in clothes he didn’t technically own. He took Erwin’s hand and begun writing his number on his palm, the contact sending shivers like burning static all along his spine. He analysed the alabaster smoothness of Levi’s face, deciding that, yes, he would definitely kiss his cheek at the end of their first date, his forehead on the second, and his plush, supple lips on the third. His mind was already racing to consider the things he’d like to do to him.

“You have hearts in your eyes,” Levi noted drily as he tucked away his pen.

“Who could blame me?” Erwin retorted, cheesy but honest. Levi gave a low ‘tch’ but a small, delightful blush reappeared across his cheeks nonetheless.

“It appears that I have two thousand dollars worth of clothes to choose,” Erwin stated, the reality of what he had agreed to dawning on him in one overwhelming hit.

“You do indeed, uh….”  
  
“Erwin.”  
  
“Right…Erwin.” He said the word with a small upwards twitch of his lips - the closest he had gotten to a smile - and Erwin was sure he would die right there, that his heart would implode in his chest and catapult flesh and bone in all directions.

“So how many Che Guevara lip balms would I have to buy to meet two grand?” Erwin mused as they walked back out into the store.

“At least, like, seven.”


	26. A Man Hollow

Levi dies and Erwin does not cry. He is a man so hollow that grief itself refuses to settle in the unnatural, desolate black hole of his chest.

The image of his lover sliding slick down a titan’s throat whittles away at him but still he does not mourn. His burden is great, his workload even greater now that he labors alone into the night. Two shadows were always better than one.

Solutions create more problems and he spends week after week slipping, falling, from one task to the next. He takes each day as it comes, thinking of the future but never of the past.

He collapses into bed one night exhausted, unable to work his bloodshot eyes any longer. He stretches all the joints of his body, content with the groans and protests of his bones, when he feels something chilly against his calf.

The touch immediately slings him into memories unwanted, to the feeling of cold, small feet pressing wicked against his legs in the dead of the night. He jolts awake and throws back the cover like a man gone mad, but it’s not Levi – just the cruel metal of his belt buckle, which he misplaced over a month ago.

He launches the belt across the room, satisfied with the way it smacks violently against the wall, and seeks refuge under the covers again. Grief returns, having found some habitable corner in his chest, and begins to spread, tendrils of scorching ice squeezing and constricting his heart.

He chokes on tears that night, buries his burning face into his palms as the wet cotton of his pillow cradles his head. He’s an intelligent man, so he doesn’t flip the soggy pillow over before he sleeps. It’s something he’s going to have to get used to, after all.


	27. Ungrateful Maggots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not eruri but idgaf

“I’ll tell y’what, ‘rmin, these kids are ungrateful maggots,” Jean complained as he waved his teacup around, oblivious to the warm tea sloshing out and onto his hand. 

“You shouldn’t speak about your grandkids that way,” Armin scolded.

“At their age we were fighting Titans. These ones? They can barely skin a rabbit.”

“You’re too harsh, Jean…this is the life we wanted for them. This is the freedom we fought for. Didn’t all our friends die so that kids could…be kids?” He exploded into a coughing fit and Jean pat his back lightly with what little energy he could muster. At this point, it was more symbolic than helpful.

“I know, but it’s so hard…to accept this, to see them so ignorant of what we went through. I survived the titans, lived to have a family…but truth be told I always felt…still feel…alone.”

“Me too,” Armin nodded sadly, his wrinkled face twitching involuntarily.

“I didn’t think it would be like this when we won. I thought…I thought the victory would numb us t’everything.”

“Not me, I knew we wouldn’t be the same.”

“Yeah, well, you were always smarter than the rest of us” Jean said with a twitch of his lips. “Too smart to hang out with Eren, that’s for sure.” They smiled, flooded by memories that felt too priceless to voice. It was sacred now, what they shared. They spoke of it but never about it.

At the sound of Eren’s name one of his grandkids abandoned the flowers she was collecting around the front porch and ran up the stairs, flung herself at his feet. “Grandpa Jean! Can you tell me a story about Eren Jaeger?!”

“Eren Jaeger was a little bitch,” he hissed at her. “I was a survey corps commander, you know. Ask about me, you brat!” The girl pouted, her eyes twinkling with the onset of tears. She detached herself and ran wailing into the house in pursuit of her mother. 

Once she was inside Jean cackled hard as he smacked his knee, Armin laughing along with him. “Cruel,” he muttered before coughing and hacking again, Jean patting him lightly in continuation of their cyclical comforting ritual. 

They watched the horizon silently, then, unspeaking and enveloped by a torturous and fierce sense of nostalgia which couldn’t be put into words. Jean’s thin wisps of remaining hair fluttered lightly in the breeze.

“I miss him,” Armin said into the quiet.

Without looking at him, Jean put a spotted, withered hand over his own. “Me too,” he admitted.

“You curse more now than Captain Levi ever did,” Armin said with a gap-toothed grin.

“Ho!” Jean exclaimed, excited, brought to life. “Levi Ackerman! Now there was a soldier.” His thin lips stretched into a smile. He felt old beyond his years.

“The glory days of Hange, Captain Levi, and Erwin Smith,” Armin sighed, looking a little pained. The memories hurt more than his arthritis.

“Erwin bloody Smith,” Jean exhaled, as though reminded of greatness itself.

“Erwin Smith,” Armin agreed, reverent.

“Come, girl,” Jean called out to his granddaughter as he smacked the door violently with his walking stick. “You want a story? Come here and let me tell you about the craziest fucker I ever met. Maybe you’ll know what a real hero is.”


	28. The Poet In Me

“Levi,” Erwin whispers into the nape of his neck, “are you awake?”

“Yeah,” he yawns, pulled from the brink of sleep, “barely.” Erwin throws a leg over him and pulls his back flush against his broad chest. “What’s wrong?”

 “If you were an animal…what do you think you would be?”

“Th’fuck, Erwin.” He can’t help but laugh because the 13th Commander of the Survey Corps is actually a big blonde man-child. It’s going to be one of those days where Erwin talks shit all night, ridiculous ideas slipping off his sleep-addled tongue until he is carried off to dreamland.  

He turns his head to see his big, disappointed eyes, and a pang of adoration hits him square in the chest. He decides to humour him because god fucking damnit, he loves this man so much.

“I don’t know”, he sighs, “probably one of those animals that eat their mate after sex.” Consuming your parter would lessen the risk of being woken up for useless conversations, he thinks.

“Do those exist?” Erwin asks, intrigued, and Levi shifts his body around so that he can place a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

“Arlert told me he read it in an old-world book, could be bullshit though. Sounds like it.”

“Fascinating,” Erwin comments. His eyes glaze over and Levi clicks his fingers before his face to get his attention. Erwin takes his hand and kisses the inside of his wrist, absently plays with his slender fingers. “I always considered you would be something more like a sparrow, though.”  
  
“Ugh,” Levi grimaces, “don’t get all poetic now.”

“Were I a more talented man, you would have definitely inspired the poet in me,” he retorts smoothly as he presses his lips to his wrist once more.

“Yeah I can just imagine how that would go. ‘Hey Levi, you’re so lovely, please suck my massive dapper cock. the end’. I think we’re all grateful you’re a man of war.”  
  
Erwin chuckles into his neck. “As charming as that was, I would like to think i’d have a bit more tact.”

Levi snorts and Erwin pinches his arm lightly in mock-warning. Laughter comes easily to them as they throw banter between each other all throughout the night, and he feels warm, comfortable, dare he say, _happy._ These are the moments worth living for, the moments he will think of when he’s about to give up in the face of bumbling, stinking masses of flesh.

Somewhere, in the deep, dark recesses of his mind, he selfishly hopes that he is the one to die first. He doesn’t want to see the day where he carries the weight of these memories alone. 

He is sure they will crush him.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Eruri, and #17 please!
> 
> 17\. things you said that i wish you hadn’t

**"** You’re  _still_  doing paperwork?” He scolds as he enters Erwin’s office. The man has been at it for seven hours straight, is buzzing on his sixth cup of coffee. All he must know by now is the art of writing and defecating, he muses. “You need a break.” ****

“No time,” Erwin answers without looking up. “If I don’t finish these reports in the next hour, I’m at a serious disadvantage for time. I’m already behind and I still have to start organising the map for the next expedition.” Levi looks down to find a schedule Erwin has made for himself; he has outlined specific tasks to be achieved by specific times. It’s kind of cute, if not stupid.

He’s never seen him  _this_  stressed before, so he snatches the paper Erwin is writing on and holds it up in the air. “No more for today,” he orders, “you’re gonna drive yourself into the ground.”

Erwin’s face twists in annoyance as he bends over his desk to reach for the paper. “I’m serious Levi, i’m busy. Please, give it back.” He lunges forward for it but Levi is too fast, catches Erwin’s hand and licks his palm playfully.

“I want you,” he purrs, holding the document behind his back now.

Erwin bangs a fist on his desk, his face contorting in rage. “You’re so… _difficult_ ,” he grits. Levi just smirks because he’s used to these kinds of hissy fits, and he knows Erwin will be grateful for the intervention later.

“Sometimes I wish I left you in the underground.”

Hurtful words, however, are not something he is used to.

The barb in his heart pierces deeper once he realises Erwin doesn’t intend to apologise. Instead he shuffles through his paperwork and pulls out something else to work on, an intense frown still on his face.

He drops the document on the floor and leaves before Erwin can see him break.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ewrinsmith asked: 11. Eruri ;)
> 
> 11\. things you said when you were drunk.

Being Commander definitely has more disadvantages than advantages, Erwin finds himself thinking yet again as he eyes his drunken soldiers scattered across the bar. He’s itching to drink, to farewell his sobriety for just one night so that he can know what it is to be carefree again.

He can’t afford to, however, and not only because of the work he has waiting for him. He will never allow his comrades to see him truly let loose, vulnerable and – most likely – humiliated. He was always a self-pitying sort of drunk; he doesn’t need his men to see the ugly sight of his confidence crumbling, his doubts and insecurities broadcasted across the room.

He’s only here to escort, for lack of a better word, the captain, who he promised he would not leave in Hange’s clutches all night. Levi doesn’t ask for things often, so he could hardly refuse him. He finds him sprawled across a greasy table, grimaces when he notices Hange giving him a back ‘massage’, his spine being clobbered with hard fists. He considers, briefly, that this is probably why Levi requested he ensure he doesn’t stay with Hange too long.

“Yay, Erwin’s here!” she screeches when she spots him. Levi rolls around in what was probably meant to be a smooth move, but results with him rolling off table and onto the floor with a grunt.

Definitely drunk.

“Errrwiiiiin,” he coos. “You came for meee.” He crawls towards his legs and holds onto one of them tight, looks up at him with glazed, half-lidded eyes.  _Bedroom eyes_ , Erwin thinks before he can stop himself. He quickly suppresses the thought.

“Sina, you’re way too drunk,” he sighs. “Can you even walk?” He belches and Erwin figures that’s probably a no. Hange has fluttered away to offer Nanaba a death massage, so at least he knows she won’t have to be taken back too.

He picks Levi up by his arms and makes him stand, walks him out the bar like a proper friend should. Once he’s on the footpath back to headquarters, however, and no one is around, he simply flings the man over his shoulder.

“M’not your fuck’n wife,” Levi grumbles half-heartedly, but rings his arms around his neck nonetheless. Erwin hopes he doesn’t notice his pulse pick up. After a minute of walking, Levi apparently has a change of heart, because now he is slurring things like “good strong commander” and “so big n’smart” as he pats his back.

Erwin humours him as he walks, responds with an assortment of “is that so?”, “I see”, and “very nice”, even a sarcastic “well said” here and there. Eventually Levi tires, tucks his head into Erwin’s neck with a big sigh. Erwin stiffens at the intimate gesture, barely knows how to register it, but he  _does_  know better than to address it right now.

“You sigh like a man who has seen it all,” he chuckles instead.

“I hope we die t’gether,” Levi mumbles randomly in response. He closes his eyes and tightens his hold.

“What,” Erwin stammers, confused at the spiral from drunken banter to unchecked melancholy. “Why?”

“Whadda y’mean why,” he slurs lazily, “cause if y’die I’d miss you.”

“I see,” he says with a smile. He recognises that it’s a private thought, something uttered mindlessly under the influence of hard liquor, so he doesn’t prod for more. It wasn’t his right to hear it, so he has no right to act on it. Instead he rubs his back softly until he sleeps. Only after he drops the captain into his bed does he whisper, “I’d miss you too.”

He spends the rest of the night grinning at his ceiling.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stairwaytoeruri asked: DAM SON 14 it is!!!! or 11! Or both. No pressure heh
> 
> 14\. things you said after you kissed me

They’re just getting started and holy shit, he’s been waiting for this all week. He runs a hand through Erwin’s hair and tugs, bringing him away from his neck and up to his mouth. Erwin’s lips are soft and perfect against his own as he’s pushed onto the bed.

“Fuck, Erwin, i missed you.” He’s not usually so sentimental but he is needy as fuck tonight.

Erwin just straddles him in response, puts one hand on his bony hip and the other on his slender neck as he dives down for another kiss. It’s hot and desperate and everything he’s ached for in the last few days that he hasn’t seen him.

He breaks away and Levi’s about to whine about it when he realises Erwin is laughing.

“Goddamn, Levi,” he pants even as he chuckles, “your mouth is so small.”

“Fuck off,” he hisses.

“I feel like i’m eating you.”

“I know something you can eat.”

“Don’t be crude, darling.” He extends a hand to caress his cheek but Levi slaps it away with a pout that Erwin finds endearing. 

“And you have a big mouth, you titan fuck. You don’t see me blue-balling you just to comment on it.”

“You’re right, i’m sorry.”

He presses an apologetic kiss onto his clothed crotch and Levi forgets what they were even bickering about.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Number 1 or 20 whatever you like :)
> 
> 1\. Things you said at 1 am.  
> Because we all know Erwin is one random bastard.

He is around six months into his relationship with Erwin. They’re far beyond formalities now, not that Levi was ever one to humour them, and he’s sleeping at Erwin’s place every other day. It is around this time that he notices a… _trend_ , for lack of a better word.  
  
Erwin talks absolute shit after midnight.

At first it was kind of charming, because at first glance, Erwin - his large, proper, six-foot-something lover - does  _not_  fit the profile of someone who stays up late twirling his boyfriend’s locks whilst he explains why he is personally offended that the Tyrannosaurus is now believed to have been a scavenger. 

Now, in the present day, and with a 6am shift in the morning, Levi decides that it’s not so cute anymore. Given that he and Erwin just got into bed at the very precarious time of 12:45am, the risk of shit-talk is real and high.

He dives into bed and exaggerates all outward displays of exhaustion. Truth be told he’s not _that_  tired, but if Erwin starts he’ll never stop, and whilst he’s  _really_ not opposed to telling people to shut the fuck up on the average day, he’s far too enamoured with Erwin to hurt his feelings that way. He can’t speak to him like that…just yet. Besides, the pillow talk is never boring, just random as shit.

“Hey, Levi”. 

That’s how it usually starts, and tonight is no different. 

“Do you ever wonder,” Erwin begins as he climbs in after him and wraps his arms around his chest, “if aliens would be violated by our mouths?”

“Why would that violate them?” Levi asks, genuinely interested.  _Fuck, he pulled me in again._

“Because, think about it. Mouths are  _holes_  in our faces with  _bones_  in them.”  
  
“That is…i’ve never thought of it like that,” he admits. “They would probably have them too.”

“That’s a very anthropocentric view,” Erwin scolds with mock-judgement in his voice. “There’s no reason to believe that they’re anything like us at all. Who says they’re created in our image?.”  
  
“Oh fuck off,” Levi says with a laugh as he grabs a spare pillow and smacks Erwin’s face with it.  
  
He is undeterred, however. “Imagine they came to Earth and analysed human culture. What do you think they would make of treadmills? Would they see gyms and think of it as some hotspot for cult-like activity?”  
  
“Go to sleep you old man,” Levi sighs as Erwin rattles on about his predictions for future speciesism, alien assimilation and alien rights.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #  
> Anonymous asked: Eruri #10 please :)
> 
> 10\. things you said that made me feel like shit
> 
> far out you guys are sluts for angst. u r hurting me, ppl

“Enjoying the party?” Pixis asks as he takes a swig from his notorious silver flask. Erwin has never really cared for whatever mystical concoction the man has brewed in there, but tonight he could use some of it.

“As much as someone in my position could, yes,” he responds truthfully as he swirls his glass of wine and watches the carmine liquid whorl about. He likes Pixis on the average day but he’s not really in the mood for friendly banter tonight, which is rather unfortunate since he has to fraternise with elites for funding. 

It’s business as usual, made harder by the fact that Levi robbed him of the good mood he needs to successfully see it through. 

He eyes the glowering Corporal standing to his left, who is now downing his fourth glass of wine. He looks positively unapproachable, which is exactly the opposite of what Erwin needs. He leans down and whispers close to his ear. “I know you don’t want to be here, but I need you sober,  _captain_.” 

“I don’t get drunk, shithead,” Levi spits as he deliberately accepts another drink from a passing waiter.

“Still,” Pixis continues, oblivious to the silent feud before him, “it must be nice to get away from all that damn paperwork. All you do is paperwork,” he laughs.

“Too much paperwork for someone who achieves a whole lot of nothing,” Levi mutters loudly under his breath, pointedly looking anywhere but him. 

That he achieves nothing is something he is used to hearing from almost everyone outside of the Survey Corps. It is a claim he is constantly refuting as he defends their progress in the face of a council and people that want to shut them down. To hear it from his Captain, his right hand man, his  _lover,_ shocks him to the bone.

He knew Levi was venomous when angry, but even then, he never expected this. All because he had pulled rank and ordered him to attend. 

Pixis raises an eyebrow at the comment, looking something between amused and curious. Erwin wants to respond calmly, to show that he is not affected, ever the gracious and malleable actor. But he  _is_  affected and suddenly the air around him is too hot, too suffocating. He needs to be anywhere but here, needs to go somewhere where he can let his voice crack and rationalise the hurt burning in his chest.  _He doesn’t mean it_ , he tells himself silently. 

He has to get away from Levi and his toxic presence if he is to salvage what is left of the night. He can’t let himself lose sight of his task or it will affect the Corps and everything he has planned. It is bigger than him and his emotions.

He hates Levi for doing this to him tonight of all nights, he thinks, uncharacteristically bitter. 

“Please excuse me, Pixis,” he says with an apologetic nod as he takes his leave and walks hurriedly towards the exit. If he sees Levi gape with surprise at the abrupt act, he doesn’t linger on it. 


	34. Chapter 34

“You want me,” Erwin declares, soft yet firm. The words are powerful, almost an order. He backs Levi into a corner, arms outstretched to trap him in a long-limbed cage.   
  
“The fuck I do,” Levi spits, even as his cock stirs to life in his uniform pants. He wants to turn around and let the commander rut him til the sun rises, but pride is a restrictive thing. “You’re not my type.”

“Yes I am,” Erwin states confidently, the words uttered like an absolute truth. He takes his wrists and holds them above his head, puts a knee between his thighs, further imprisoned. The act screams violence, yet every touch is gentle, adoring. It’s confusing - contradicting. It’s Erwin.

This man makes no sense.

“How would you know,” Levi starts, feigning struggle as he tepidly tugs his wrists from Erwin’s hold. He knows Erwin can see right through it, that he recognises it for the performance it is. He allows the act, merciful, just as he unmercifully grinds against his cock now with his knee.

“Because,” Erwin whispers into his ear, voice rough and breath hot against his neck, “you like bad boys.” He lets go of his wrists and grips his jaw instead, brings two fingers to his mouth to part his lips. He raises the tips of his bolo tie to him, a silent command to suck.

“and i am the worst of them all.”


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gooberfiend asked: Levi shows up for his first day of work at the wrong coffee shop but doesn't want to leave because the other barista (Erwin) is hot, so he awkwardly ends up working the day at this place instead.

He puts his hands on his knees as he bends over and laughs bitterly to himself, because  _of course_  this would happen to him.  _Of course_  he would miss out on the only shitty job interview he’s gotten in three months and  _of course_  he used all of his monthly download data just getting here.

The navigator on his phone has led him to the wrong coffee shop, and he’s just about ready to crumple up and die. He was meant to be at Sinna Coffee, but the place he’s standing in front of is  _Sina_  Coffee, with only one  _n._ He used the few dollars he had left in his wallet to call the original employer from a nearby pay-phone, only to be told that if he couldn’t make it in ten minutes, not to bother coming at all. Well, shit.

He’s broke, miserable, and really fucking cold, so he decides to enter the coffee shop anyway. It’s not like he has anything better to do. He doesn’t have enough money to buy anything, but maybe he can discreetly read the newspaper until the weather warms up. He’s in a suit, at least. It’s old, flimsy, and stolen from a thrift shop but it fits him well enough and he doesn’t look like a  _total_  street rat, so he shouldn’t draw too much attention to himself.

He steps inside and takes it all in. It’s a clean, homey sort of place with no particular aesthetic – he likes that, that there is nothing pretentious about it. It’s not too busy either, only a couple of people waiting to order.

His eyes almost sag out of their sockets when he spots the lone barista fluttering about, making coffee and tending the register with perfect ease. He’s wearing a tight white t-shirt that fits his broad chest nicely, with a simple brown apron thrown on top. His immaculate blonde hair is neatly parted and brushed over an undercut, complimenting his perfect, sharp cheekbones. He watches his biceps flex as he works the coffee machine, salivates over the way his muscle pulls and stretches when he handles the portafilter. He turns around to speak to a customer and  _of-fucking-course_  his eyes are the type of rare hue that tortured poets write about.

He’s always been impulsive – it’s one of the reasons he’s…where he is in life – so he’s not surprised when he finds himself pushing past the little door that separates the workspace from the café.

The man gapes a little as he puts down the coffee cup he’s holding, confusion spreading across his face. “Can I help you, sir?”

“I’m here for my first day of work,” he says confidently. He grabs the damp cloth used to clean the steam wand and holds it up like it’s road kill. “You don’t use this to wipe the benches too, do you? It’s filthy.”

“I didn’t hire anyone,” the man says sternly as he turns around to face him properly. His eyes roam over him and he feels the burn and chafe of his gaze all over his skin. ‘ _I didn’t_ ’, Levi thinks - he must be the manager. Even better.

“Yes you did,” Levi lies, thin eyebrow raised as though he’s speaking to an idiot. It’s a long shot but he’s a man with nothing to lose. “You hired  _me_  – I’m here aren’t I?”

The man looks amused now as he crosses his delectable arms across his chest. “When?” he prods.

“Just now,” Levi counters, crossing his own arms in a fierce display of stubbornness. He meets his eyes and doesn’t back down, even offers a scowl. He’s expecting to get kicked out any second now, maybe man-handled if he’s lucky. Shit – he never denied being a pervert.

He finds he doesn’t care too much either way because the few minutes spent next to this divine being was worth it. He has already memorised the look and smell of him, so at least he has gained an imagine to attribute to his pillow when he holds it against his chest at night.

To his surprise, the man merely considers him for a moment before he smirks and resumes making coffee. “I see,” he says, “then you can start right away. I assume you know how to work the register.”

“Yes,” Levi croaks, his throat suddenly dry. It’s no lie either, the model looks similar to the one he had at his last fast food job, so it shouldn’t be too hard to navigate. He begins taking orders with trembling hands and easily finds a rhythm, punching them in and jotting them down on coffee lids. He can barely comprehend that this is really happening, finds it’s much easier not to think about it.

“My name is Erwin,” the man says in a rough whisper next to his ear. It takes him by surprise and he doesn’t have time to suppress the shudder that wracks his body when his hot breath hits his neck. He can only pray that he – Erwin – didn’t notice it.

“Levi,” he offers gruffly. They work together in relative silence for the better half of an hour as more customers filter into the cafe. Every now and then Erwin accidentally brushes his hand with his own when he slides a lid over, and he has to try hard not to blush like a virgin on a first date.

“Why are you really here?” he eventually asks a few hours later when business slows down.

“I work here,” Levi replies, insolent, like it’s the obvious answer. He keeps himself occupied with wiping down the counter, pointedly avoiding eye contact.

“No other reason?” Erwin asks with a knowing smile and a wink that has his cock twitching with interest.

Levi throws down the rag with a glare. “What are you implying,” he bites. “That could count as sexual harassment, you know.”

“You’re cute,” Erwin chuckles indifferently, his stupid, perfect eyes sparkling with amusement. Levi’s heart rockets against his chest at the compliment, but he keeps a stoic face. “You  _do_  realise how…unorthodox this all is, right?”

“I believe in making my own destiny,” Levi comments dryly, which just makes Erwin laugh even more.

Erwin checks his watch and comments that it’s home time. He has no idea how it’s five in the afternoon already, was probably too preoccupied with Erwin’s presence to consider the concept of time.

Levi tries not to sulk as Erwin takes off his apron and hangs it up, speaking a few words to the worker that has just come in to take his place. They eye Levi suspiciously as he whispers something into their ear.

“Wait for me outside,” Erwin tells him as he walks his co-worker past a door that says ‘staff only.’ As soon as he disappears Levi makes a run for it, because as fun as it was to play pretend with Erwin he’s not going to stick around for awkward goodbyes and inevitable rejection.

He jogs home, paranoid and slightly more miserable than he was in the morning, but it’s all for the best. He makes a mental note never to return to this area.

At least Erwin was kind enough to humour him for the day. That’s more than the world has given him lately

* * *

He takes his time in the shower, savouring the feeling of hot water drumming against his back. It’s not long before he’s kicked out of this shitty apartment too, and he considers where he’ll go after he’s evicted. He’ll have to take to the streets again, but at least this time he has some more clothing with him. He could even sell his phone for a few hundred bucks so that he can feed himself for a while.

Stability was nice, but it was never meant for him.

He’s trying to fight the pathetic sting of tears in his eyes when he hears his phone ringing. It could be a call for an interview, he immediately thinks, and he almost breaks his neck as he rushes out of the shower in all his naked glory to answer it.

“Hello?” he huffs, grasping the phone desperately in slippery hands.

“Levi Ackerman?”

“Yes, that’s me.” His heartbeat knocks against his chest as he makes a silent prayer to whatever is out there that it’s a job interview.

“It’s Erwin from Sina Café.”

“Y’gotta be fucking kidding me. How did you get my number?”

“I got it from Sinna Café – the  _other_  one. Where you were meant to have an interview today?”

“How do you know that?”

“It wasn’t hard to guess that you got mixed up,” Erwin laughs into the phone, “I had a feeling.”

“What do you want,” he grumbles, far too miserable to be excited by Erwin’s voice. He has bigger shit to think about and, truth be told, thinking of Erwin just depresses him even more.

“You ran off so quickly I didn’t get the chance to give you your roster.”

“Roster?”

“Yes, for your shifts,” Erwin comments nonchalantly, like all of this is normal.

“You…you’re giving me shifts?” Levi practically whispers, unbelieving.

“Well apparently I hired you today, didn’t I?”

“Yeah,” Levi laughs as a different brand of tears gathers in his eyes, “yeah you did.”

“You have a shift tomorrow at nine am,” Erwin says, and he can hear the smile in his voice.

“Don’t be late.”


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rizurin asked: Aaah i read all your writing meme before sleep and really like it!! I really like things you said when you were drunk!!!!!❤❤❤❤ pls write more fluffy eruri♡♡

continuation of [the drunk meme drabble](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4066801/chapters/9913103), inspired by [this ](http://rizurin.tumblr.com/post/123985796225/anything-but-that);) 

~~overlook the fact that canon Levi apparently doesn’t get drunk.~~

* * *

 

It becomes routine for Erwin to pick Levi up from the bar, rescuing him from the likes of Hange and Mike when he’s too inebriated to protect himself from their shenanigans. At least once every fortnight he escorts him back to headquarters, humanity’s drunkest slung over his shoulder like a cheap leather skin from the market.

Erwin enjoys the way Levi prattles when he’s unguarded, inane banter easily slipping off his tongue. He learns more and more about his private thoughts, although he tells no one and acts on nothing he hears. Their time spent together is intimate, comfortable, and Levi doesn’t complain anymore when Erwin picks him up – just holds on tight and releases little puffs of air against his neck. It doesn’t take long for Erwin to decide that it’s one of his favourite sensations.

Of course, it didn’t take long for the others to notice their little ‘habit’ either. One fateful night he had entered the bar at the usual time, eyes immediately searching for one grumpy corporal, when Mike – particularly plastered – had taken it upon himself to help.

“Levi!” he had yelled, “mummy’s here ta’pick’ya up!”

Hange had snorted loudly through her nose, spraying all in her vicinity with beer. “More like husband!” she hooted. The corporal’s squad, highly disturbed, had blushed fiercely on his behalf. Levi, red-faced and scowling, had merely mumbled for them to fuck off.

A few days later, he informed Erwin that he wouldn’t need his help getting home from the bar anymore.

Erwin had simply nodded, feigned indifference – a flimsy, makeshift emotional band-aid to conceal his own hurt. Truth be told, his drunken adventures with Levi quickly became the only thing he looked forward to, even if all he did was serve as transportation. “All the more time to do paperwork,” he jested, and Levi had offered a weak twitch of his lips in response.

He reconsiders these events, now, as he sits behind his desk and taps a folder with his quill.

The others are out drinking, and it’s right about the time that he would have usually left for the bar. He hasn’t escorted Levi for a good month, and he misses it. Misses  _him._  He grows flustered as his thoughts stray, recalling the feeling of black silk slipping through his fingers as he cradled his head; the feeling of his small, solid warmth gathered in his arms whenever he carried him back to base.

Mostly he misses Levi’s chatter, the useless, random pieces of his subconscious that he would allow Erwin access. He tries to convince himself the intimacy wasn’t real, because no matter how he looks at it, none of it was consensual. He was privy to his thoughts by convenience alone. Even if Levi _had_  occasionally slurred something that made his heart knock wildly in his chest, a little ‘ _I’d miss you_ ’ here and a little ‘ _stay with me_ ’ there, what did it matter if he would never say it to him sober?

So he resumes his paperwork, limbs heavy with a different brand of exhaustion and fatigue. If he’s going to mope, he might as well be productive. He’s just about ready to start on his next task when his office door slams open, the wood groaning violently on its abused hinges.

“Erwin!” Hange shouts. He shoots out of his chair when he notices that she’s actually panting against the door. “We broke your Levi,” she wheezes as she advances forward.

“What – is he injured?” he prompts, feeling ice-cold panic surge underneath his skin.

She hesitates before answering. “No, just…just come to the bar. I’ll explain on the way.”

He grabs his uniform jacket and follows her out the door, nerves calmed by the knowledge that he must not be seriously hurt.

“What did you and Mike do,” he asks knowingly as they walk briskly towards the shoddy little tavern in sight.

“We…just messed with his head a little, you know? And then he just, he fuckin’ lost it.”

“Hange.”

“We told him you were dead,” she admits in one quick, anxious breath.

“What?” he splutters. “Why would you do that?”

“Lets just say we wanted to test a theory.”

She continued explaining, albeit reluctantly, when Erwin raised a thick, unimpressed brow at her. “Well, we always suspected that he…had feelings for you…and we thought we could make him admit it, so we made Oluo run through the front door with this whole act, saying you got stabbed by some assassin. He was drunk enough to believe it and he got hysterical, started getting violent and throwing punches around. Even Mike couldn’t stop him, got hit straight in the nose. He wouldn’t believe it was a joke and now he won’t listen to anyone.”

Erwin winced as he processed all the information. “I see. Where was he when you left him?”

“Crying under a table.” He looked to her face, unbelieving, but her expression was stern.

“ _Sina,_ ” he cursed. “You had no right, Hange.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” She hangs her head, eyes averted. She really does look guilty, at least. “I think he really loves you, Erwin.” 

He chooses not to reply.

The bar is eerily quiet when he steps inside, all the other soldiers glancing at him nervously as he steps over broken glass and navigates around toppled furniture. Nanaba is pressing tissues to Mike’s bloodied nose, Petra and Eld tending to bruises on Oluo’s face.

Hange points silently to an isolated table at the back, and Erwin doesn’t miss the way everyone keeps a safe distance from it. “Everyone go home,” he barks, extremely vexed by it all, “the night is over. I’ll deal with you all later.” The bartenders don’t put up a fight, and even people who aren’t from the survey corps quickly scurry out.

He has to bend down low to make out Levi’s form once he approaches the table, almost kneels down completely just to get a glimpse of his head. He is tucked in on himself, knees to chest, looking like a wounded animal. The sight makes his heart melt.

“Levi,” he whispers, voice tender now that there’s barely anyone around. Levi looks up at him, eyes red-rimmed, nose and cheeks blotchy. He can’t tell if he has sobered up or not.

“I’m alive, it was just a prank.” He scoots closer when Levi doesn’t move or respond, dares to extend a hand out for him to take. “Come out, let’s go back to headquarters and I –  _we’ll_  run you a bath.” The offer should be tempting given that the corporal has apparently thrown up on himself, but apparently not tempting enough.

After a moment of silence in which nothing is achieved, he lays down flat on his stomach and drags himself under the table using his forearms. He barely fits but there’s  _just_  enough space to sit upright.

The act seems to break something in Levi, and he looks at him now with something close to adoration in his eyes. Erwin is taken by surprise when he abruptly flings himself at him, arms grabbing tightly around his torso, face quickly burying into his neck. “Don’t die,” he croaks, and Erwin instantly brushes a hand through his hair, uses the other to wrap around his waist protectively.

“I won’t,” he says, even though he knows how ridiculous the words are, how irrational a promise it is. There are few things he wouldn’t do for Levi; he will lie for him if he has to, if he requests it. He will not deny him a single thing he can give. “I wont,” he says again when he feels tears wet against his neck, whispers it into his forehead as he presses his nose into his hair.

“I’m taking you back,” he says firmly. Levi nods tiredly and holds on tight as Erwin manoeuvres them both out from under the table. It’s difficult but he manages. The bar is empty, and only the lone bartender gives him a quizzical glance as he walks past with Levi cradled against his chest. He wonders at the comical sight they make.

“I can walk, y’know,” Levi grumbles softly after a few minutes, lifting his head up and trying to pry himself away. 

Erwin gently pushes his face back into his neck. “No,” he frowns, and Levi doesn’t attempt it again. “When we get back I’m going to clean you up. And then I’m going to kiss you.” It’s not a question.

“Shit,” Levi breathes, the hand on his back fisting tight into the material of his uniform shirt. He speaks after a while, his voice low and hesitant. “Where?”

“Everywhere,” Erwin promises, and this time it’s a vow he can keep.

 


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fuckin’ had this in my documents forever so i might as well upload it

vv mediocre neighbour au, part **one**. Based on the [apartment prompt ](http://birbwin.tumblr.com/post/124398904481/apartment-aus-to-consider)‘your bird shit talks me whenever I go out on my own balcony’. Aussie!Erwin.  

Series dedicated to [chillnaxin](http://tmblr.co/mC-_V0Rusifd0zrT09Mnqyg), whose [neighbour eruri art](http://chillnaxin.tumblr.com/tagged/that-one-grocery-au) gives me life ~~and defo inspired this.~~  :)))))))

 

* * *

 

It’s 5am on a Saturday morning and something outside is screeching so loud he thinks it’s heralding the last day. Levi jolts awake, heart thumping violently against his chest, and he immediately makes his way to his balcony to find out what the fuck is going on.

The noise stops as soon as he peers over the railing out onto the road, and he’s thoroughly confused until he hears a strange little voice from his right.

“ _Ay dick’ed,_ ” it chirps. He turns around to find a cage out on his neighbour’s balcony, a rainbow-coloured bird cramming itself in the corner that’s closest to him. He raises an eyebrow as it chants “ _Dick’ed, dick’ed, dick’ed,”_ , its red side-eye narrowing in on him. “ _Feed me, dick’ed!_ ”

He can confirm it’s the source of the screeching once it opens its beak and starts shrieking like someone has taken a chainsaw to it. It’s loud, too fucking loud, his eardrums practically blistering from the high pitch.

“Un-fucking-believable,” he mutters as his hands fly to his ears. He stomps back inside, enraged, and throws on a pair of shoes. He makes his way to his neighbour’s door and bangs on it, fist pounding the wood mercilessly, his scowl already fixed into place.

It’s too early for this shit.

He continues banging the door angrily until it opens, revealing a tired, broad-shouldered blonde. His pyjamas are ruffled and his hair is pointed in all directions, stubble dotting his face. He rubs at his eyes with a palm as he leans against the doorframe, a question ready to fire on his lips.

“What’s your problem, mate?” he croaks, voice laced with poorly suppressed agitation.

“Shut that  _fucking_  bird up before I throw it off the balcony. It’s five in the damn morning,” he hisses. The man’s eyes blow wide at the crude language but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, his sleep-addled gaze roams over Levi’s scowling form, taking him all in.

“You hearing me you old bastard? People are trying to  _sleep_ , you know what that is, right? We’re ‘tryna get some fucking shut-eye,” he mocks in a terrible and exaggerated Australian accent, articulating the words slowly like he’s speaking to an idiot. He probably is.

The man has the audacity to look more amused than offended, the corner of his mouth lifting up slightly as his eyes glimmer with challenge. “I take it you’re the new neighbour?” he inquires, his indifference morphing into bravery as he offers his hand. “I’m Erwin.”

“Shove your niceties up your ass,” Levi spits. He twirls around and stalks back to his apartment, makes a show of slamming his door. He toes off his shoes and wastes no time diving back into bed.

Two minutes later the screeching stops and he’s so tired he falls asleep within seconds.

* * *

Post-coffee later that morning, he reconsiders whether exploding at his new neighbour was the best first impression to make. He eventually decides he doesn’t give a fuck, because he was in the right and he’s not interested in making friends or sharing his sugar anyway. He has shit to do and a lot of stuff to unpack - he starts his new job on Monday and he wants his apartment up and running by then.

He cleans the entire flat a second time, unpacks the last of his boxes, and starts to set up his tv when he decides it’s time for a break. He makes his way to the balcony and shuffles around in his pocket for a cigarette, grateful that his new apartment allows smoking.

Sydney isn’t too bad so far, he thinks. It’s a welcome change from America, although the weather is moodier than he is and their shitty Australian vocabulary is still lost on him sometimes.

“ _Hey ugly.”_  

He knows that voice. Sure enough, the bird from his neighbour’s -  _Erwin’s_  - balcony is eyeing him from its cage. He takes a slow, deep drag on his cigarette as he considers it. It’s oddly quiet as it watches him, as though it anticipates a response.

 _“_ Fuck off, shitty bird,” he eventually decides, intentionally blowing smoke in its direction. It’s petty, but he’s satisfied and what Erwin doesn’t know won’t hurt him. He doesn’t look to behome anyway. He knows they’re serious about their animals here, so he double-checks the other balconies to make sure no one saw him do it. The last thing he needs is someone reporting him to the RSPCA for animal abuse.

The bird shuffles along its stick, moving away from the smoke as it skitters up and down, bobbing its head. “ _You fuck off,”_ it cries, followed by a trilogy of blood-curdling screeches that excites some of the other demon birds in the surrounding trees. He gapes, shocked into silence at its response, finds himself wondering  _just_ how well-trained it is.

“ _Fuck off, shitty bird,”_ it repeats loudly like a mantra, its voice shrill, pushing his headache into a full-blown migraine.

Moving to this country was a mistake, he thinks, as he quickly puts his cigarette out and hurries back inside before Erwin can learn what he has done.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: can you please write a canonverse cute eruri, pretty please. all i've read today is angst and i'm not okay

He’s not sure at what point in their relationship it started, but somehow, it became routine.

He would be starting the night’s paperwork when Levi would slink into his quarters with his book in hand, silently drop into his lap, and keep Erwin company for hours on end. It’s quiet, comfortable, lovely. He’s small enough that Erwin can easily wrap his arms around him and continue his work, Levi nestled snug against his chest all the while.

When the workload gets too much, when it’s too overwhelming, he will close his eyes and lean his forehead against Levi’s nape, give it a soft kiss, a promise pressed into his skin:  _I will persevere, for you._ Levi’s eyes won’t leave the words on his page, but he will take Erwin’s hand into his own:  _you can do it, i’m here._

Sometimes he will be focused on the scratch of his quill when he will notice Levi looking up at him, his head tilted back against his broad chest, his eyes dark and amorous. Erwin will smile down at him, then, and half-whisper, half-rasp ‘ _what’s that sweet look for?’_

And saccharine sweet it is. Erwin can barely resist Levi so lovely, his pupils pleading, his supple lips imploring,  _begging_  for him to taste.

If Levi kisses his chin in response and Erwin ends up taking him on his desk then and there, evidence of their love saturated in paper burdens, it’s nobody’s business but their own.

Sometimes Levi will fall asleep and Erwin will hold him upright with an arm around his chest, the small puffs of air against his neck all he needs to power through the night. Sometimes they’ll fall asleep like that, wrapped in each other. Together they redefine intimacy, render it something infinite and otherworldly.

He’s not sure at what point in their relationship he realised it, but somehow, a lap full of Levi is the closest thing he has known to happiness.


	39. see you

“Levi, is that you?”

He turns around and barely has time to school his expression into something neutral before he’s gaping like an idiot. “Erwin,” he breathes, surprised. He gives him a quick once over and finds he looks just as good as he did over a year ago, if not better.

“Its been a while,” Erwin comments awkwardly as he shifts his shopping basket from one hand to another. “What are you getting up to?”

Levi, being the socially-stunted abnormal that he is, holds up a packeted toothbrush in way of explanation. He doesn’t realise that Erwin was inquiring about his  _life_  rather than the present moment until the man gives him an undecipherable look. 

Fuck, he feels like an idiot, but Erwin did always have this effect on him. He shuffles now, feeling flustered and a little overwhelmed.

“You still buy a new toothbrush every two months?” Erwin asks with a smile, and Levi briefly thinks it might look a little sad, a little nostalgic. Wishful thinking, perhaps.

“Yeah, you know…” he trails off. Something in his brain is screaming at him to return the niceties, to ask how  _he_  is doing in return. But truth be told he doesn’t want to know, so he doesn’t inquire. Why would he want to hear how great Erwin is doing without him?

“Bacteria, right?” Erwin chuckles, and Levi just nods as he brings his scarf higher up over his face.

“Well,” Erwin says, and Levi averts his eyes, looking anywhere but him. The sight of him hurts. “l have to head out now. I’ve got somewhere to be, but it was nice seeing you.”

“Yeah,” Levi mutters stiffly, violently cursing himself for boring him so early on in the conversation.  _This is why he broke up with you._  “See you.” Erwin just gives a polite smile, leaves with a little wave of his hand. Levi watches his form disappear completely around the aisle corner.

 _Fuck._  Erwin is probably out doing real things with his life, in a nice, stable relationship with someone beautiful and talented whilst he’s still  _here_ , painfully alone and doing the same old shit, stocking up on toothbrushes like the freak he is.

Suddenly, nothing he planned to do seems important. Everything has lost its value and he wants to be home immediately. He throws his item aside and briskly walks to his car. 

Images of blue eyes and blonde hair follow him all the way.

* * *

That night Erwin sits cross-legged in front of his cupboard, clutching the gift-wrapped box tightly in his hands. He swipes a layer of dust off it with a finger, thumbs idly at the darkening card attached to the ribbon. It reads:  _i love you, can we try again? - Erwin_

If ever there were a time to send Levi a bulk box of apology toothbrushes, now would be it.

Instead he puts it back into his cupboard, because Levi clearly wants nothing to do with him and they probably wouldn’t have worked out anyway. They had tried and they had tried and they had still failed, and Erwin swore he would never go back to it. To him. 

They had no future together, and that was that.

He convinces himself of this even as he stores the box for another day.


	40. Chapter 40

For [eruriholic](http://tmblr.co/munuUOsHgMaTUXRNu87sygg), who says I hurt them too much. Have some shitty college au.  
  
[This is what the swing looks like](http://www.rehabmart.com/imagesfromrd/SPE-582-961%20Swing%20Seat%20for%20Toddlers_Playground%20Equipment.jpg).

* * *

“Help me,  _please._ ”

Levi can barely stop laughing long enough to reply. “Y-you fucking fat ass,” he wheezes. Actual tears are gathering in the corners of his eyes.

Erwin is literally stuck on a swing set, more specifically, in the  _toddler’s_  seat of the swing set. Levi doesn’t even know how his meaty thighs managed to fit through the holes, but the sight of them pinched tight by the strained rubber has him doubling over again. His butt cheeks are spilling out over the sides and Levi gives them a harsh smack every so often just to be a pain.  
  
He looks absolutely ridiculous.

“I can’t feel my junk,” Erwin groans, his eyes fluttering closed with a grimace as he grips the swing’s chains. Every time he tries to move he howls in agony.  “My cock may never work again.” It’s a desperate attempt to get Levi to help, but he’s unfazed.

“Just settle all your weight on it and break it already, you’re damn heavy enough,” Levi supplies with an impatient huff and an eye roll. “Or would you rather me cut you out like I already offered to.” He pulls the pocket knife out from his boot and lets it shine in the dim lighting supplied by the street lamp.

“ _Kids_  use this, Levi! That would be so inconsiderate.”  
  
“Fuck the kids,” he supplies unhelpfully. Erwin gives a stubborn pout and attempts to shuffle out again, but every move results in another agonised howl. Levi starts laughing all over again.  
  
“What are you doing,” Erwin asks suspiciously as Levi takes out his phone and dials a number. “Don’t call emergency services, that’s humiliating!”

“Don’t worry baby, i’m not” Levi assures as he slaps Erwin’s crushed ass again. He listens attentively once the line is picked up.

“Yeah, Dok, I’ve got something for you. Yes i’m fucking serious. It’s good. Come down to that park down campus. Yeah i know it’s fucking midnight but you won’t regret it. Well you can eat shit too, then.” Levi scowls and stomps his leg impatiently. “Look, you greasy fuck. Erwin is stuck in a swing and it’s fucking hilarious. If you want to see it before I cut him out then be here in five minutes. No you can take a picture yourself, i’m not spending anymore data on you. Fuck off now.” He ends the call and gives Erwin a wicked smirk.  
  
“You  _didn’t_ ,” Erwin breathes, unbelieving.

Nile arrives in record time and takes over twenty photos, which are enlarged, printed and hung up all over campus the very next day.


	41. Chapter 41

Erwin implements his new formation system, which means Squad Levi now parts from all other flanks almost immediately on every expedition. 

Parts from Erwin.

“Don’t shit yourself, old man” Levi makes sure to say before he’s dispatched, to which Erwin always replies with a charitable smile, a practised “I’ll try not to, Captain.”

And as usual, Levi memorises the stretch of his full lips, the flutter of gold in the wind, the power and determination raging in his blue eyes as they echo the colour of forbidden skies above. 

That’s how he chooses to remember him when he returns to find him dead, the thirteenth Commander of the Survey Corps splattered in thirteen different directions.

He holds what remains of Erwin’s lower body, clutches it to his chest. “At least you didn’t shit yourself,” he laughs through tears, through the taste of salt. 

“You always were a man of your word.”


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Please more of Erwin's thighs ♥
> 
> Wow this has been in my inbox for 47 years. I hope you’re still following me, whoever you are lmao. I looked up synonyms for ‘thighs’ cause i used it so much and thesaurus.com gave me ‘leg parts’ *slow clap*. Anyway have some thigh sex ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Consider this event like, four months after this. 
> 
> I may be projecting my own thirst

“If I died here, I’d be content,” Levi sighs, already drunk on desire. He is all feline grace in his pursuit of Erwin’s thick, meaty thighs, his ass up in the air as he nuzzles and kneads at them, proud and purring from between his legs.

Erwin raises a quizzical brow at him over his book. He should probably be flattered that Levi manages to rile himself up like this every other day, Erwin barely having to do anything but lay bare in his briefs, yet he has never understood the fascination. He has never considered his own thighs as anything other than average, as well-toned as he is.

“That would be a rather pathetic way to go, don’t you think?” he comments unfazed as he tongues a finger and turns to the next page of his book. He can feel the tickle of Levi’s tongue sweet against him, but it’s not enough to excite him just yet.

“I want you to crush my fucking skull with them,” Levi all but hisses as he takes taut flesh between his teeth and rolls it around firmly, kitten lick apologies following suit.

“Christ, Levi,” Erwin breathes, placing his book aside. “Why do you like them so much?”

Levi rises slowly now, but dares not part from the object of his eternal affection just yet. He spreads a hand on either thigh and rubs them lovingly as he considers the question. “Yes,” he answers eventually with a delirious smile, a crooked twitch of his lips that is positively sinful looking once the curtain of his eyelids drop lower. 

“That doesn’t even make sense,” Erwin laughs, even as he feels himself harden at the sultry gaze. “And are you even listening to me?”

“I want to fuck your thighs.” 

So that’s a no. 

Levi’s practically panting, which isn’t surprising given that he’s been playing with his thighs for half an hour. Erwin wonders at how he can be  _so_  enamoured with them that he overlooks his cock, which strains just slightly against his briefs now. He would have thought the latter more tempting. 

Regardless, though, it doesn’t matter, because Levi looks to be single-mindedly driven by a biological chase for sexual gratification, absolutely animal in his need, so Erwin doesn’t deny him - it’s pointless when he gets like this.

“Very well,” he concedes with a smirk, voice husky as he turns over to lie on his front and Levi is  _already_  scrambling for the lube in the bedside table. Levi situates himself behind him and taps softly at both of his sides, a signal for him to lift up, bend his knees and keep his head down. To submit.

Levi slides Erwin’s briefs down his ass and immediately gives his rump a squeeze, fingers hungry as they grasp greedy at his flesh. “Fuck, you always look so good like this,” he exhales.”

Erwin sighs soft against the pillow, stroking his length firmly and relishing in the way he hardens in his own hand at the filthy words. “C’mon, baby,” he pushes.

Its not long before Levi has abandoned his own underwear and is slicking up his cock. He lines himself between his thighs, hands roaming down the slope of Erwin’s bare back as he presses featherlight kisses on whatever warm skin he can reach. His lips press indiscriminate, anywhere and everywhere, and even the bone of his elbow gets a rough nibble.

“Pinch your thighs together,” he instructs eventually, impatient, as though Erwin doesn’t already know to, as though this is the first time Levi has woken up blazing and full of demands. He obeys regardless.

Levi forces his cock between them, parting them slightly to accommodate, and Erwin  _feels_ his satisfied shudder, the push dousing a burning fire somewhere deep within. “ _Shit,_ ” Levi curses as he begins to fuck his thighs with vigour, the  _squelch_ and  _schlick_  as vulgar as it is arousing.

Truth be told, this kind of thing doesn’t do much for him, he’s never cared for it too much, but the way Levi shudders and gasps above him has him stroking himself harder, chasing his orgasm on the sound of his lover’s pleasure alone.

Levi pinches and grabs at his thighs as he ruts him, his hands never satisfied with any amount of muscle, constantly moving as though he wants to map all of him, wants to make sure he hasn’t gone without feeling  _everything_. Erwin pinches his thighs a little tighter and Levi shifts up, his cock hitting roughly against his balls now and  _yes yes yes_  that’s a delicious sensation he can get into.

Erwin tugs fiercely at his own cock now. It has Levi spilling with a long, agonised moan, and the feeling of his warm cum wetting his thighs and balls pulls his own orgasm from him, leaving him winded as he collapses on the bed.

Levi goes tumbling with him, falling on his side lazily as he pants, runs a hand through sweat-slicked hair. “It always ends too quickly,” he complains with a scowl, his hand reaching to caress his leg, a lingering touch.

“Yeah,” Erwin agrees, closing his eyes and shifting to hold Levi to his chest. “You’re such a low-maintenance partner,” Erwin chuckles, and Levi flicks his nose. “All I have to do is sit in my underwear and you’re coming at me. Sometimes i think that if the titans get me, you’ll miss my thighs above all else.”

“You’d be right,” Levi whispers into his skin. “Now go shower so I can give them a massage.”


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eruri Week Day 2: Choices

“Levi, i need you,” Erwin groans, a tortured guttural sound that comes from somewhere deep within. He is at his limit.

Levi sits on the floor of his bedroom, back to the wall. Erwin crawls towards him on all fours, grovelling, and he keeps him at a tormenting distance with a pointed leather boot to the forehead.

“All we can do in life,” he comments, voice low and indifferent, “is make the decisions we will regret the least, and  _you_  definitely made the wrong choice.”

“ _Please_ ,” Erwin almost sobs, “i’m sorry.” 

Levi shoves him back, unimpressed, and Erwin sits obedient on his hind legs as he watches Levi spread his own, smile wicked. He’s not wearing anything under the lacy black skirt he has donned today, and Erwin can see the curve of his cock and the milk of his thighs, glowing and beckoning, so close yet so far.

Erwin eyes him hungrily and Levi thinks he’s never seen a man so broken. “Two weeks is too long,” he croaks, parched, “this is too much.”

“Is it?” Levi hums cruelly as he strokes himself, pleased with the way Erwin’s gaze doesn’t dare leave him for a second. “You don’t think what you did bordered on  _too much?”_

 _“_ It was just a potato chip,” Erwin pleads, desperate for mercy. “I wont do it again.” Levi can see his cock hard and straining against his suit pants, begging to be released, begging  _for_  release. 

“Just a potato chip which you decided to  _eat_  while  _fucking my damn brains out,”_ he hisses angrily as he shoves Erwin, ever advancing, back again with a harsh boot to the chest.

_He remembers it clearly. Erwin with his hands on his hips as he took him from behind, Levi spitting moans, curses and blasphemies all over the place as he was fucked into yesterday. But then…a sprinkle of something on his back, featherlight, he feels whatever it is stick to his sweat soaked skin. He whips around, confused, to find Erwin mid-crunch on a potato chip, the packet poking out from under his pillow. Erwin had never looked so horrified in his life._

“You know your punishment. You better think twice next time before trying to eat and fuck me at the same time like your damn personal street whore.”

Erwin takes the outstretched, slender leg on his chest into his hands and rains kisses on it, all but panting now. Levi allows him to move up his body, permits him to think that he’s made progress, that the drought is over. Erwin licks up his thigh, tongue tasting him with long strokes, and sucks a harsh kiss into his skin. Just when he is about to reach out for his cock, Levi pulls him up by his hair and promptly clamps his legs shut. 

Access denied.

Erwin whimpers into his stomach, defeated, and Levi strokes his hair in a bitter display of false comfort. “Don’t worry,” he coos, “only two weeks to go.”


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eruri wk day three: confessions

 

“Did you ever think we would end up like this?” Erwin asks one day, Levi naked and tucked against his chest. It’s well into the night and they’re still sticky from love but they cannot, will not, fall asleep just yet. These are precious, rare moments - time together they would sacrifice for no price.

Levi tilts his head up and considers him for a moment. “What, balls deep in each other’s asses every other day?”

“Well…I suppose that’s one way of saying it, yes,” Erwin chuckles. He brings a palm over the taut muscle of Levi’s stomach and presses him a little tighter into his chest. 

“No,” Levi admits softly, “in the beginning, I was just here to kill you.” 

They speak about it now, casual, trivial, a thing of the past. The conversation has been had a million times over.

“But there wasn’t any… _initial_  attraction?” Erwin prods.

“Not at first. You pissed me off too much and I thought you had a stupid face.”

“Stupid how?”

“Stupid like you took yourself too seriously, stupid like it was always begging for a punch.” Erwin pouts, dejected, and Levi laughs, bringing his hand up to press an apologetic kiss into it.

“Let me guess, ‘the image hasn’t improved’ is what you’re going to say next.”

“You know me too well,” Levi hums with a smirk, and Erwin bites his shoulder playfully as punishment. “What about you?,” he asks curiously. 

“Well, right away I thought you were beautiful - ”

“Of course you did.”

“ - if not painfully rude. Whenever you made me angry I would imagine flicking you with a finger and sending you flying across the training field. You looked small enough for it to work.”

Levi gives an unimpressed ‘tch’ and scowls a bit, the creases of his brow relaxing once Erwin presses lazy kisses along his neck. “So you didn’t want to fuck me either, then.”

“I wanted to have you and drown you at the same time.”

“Shit,” Levi breathes, unable to stop the laughter bubbling in his chest, not that he could if he wanted to when he’s with Erwin like this. “I don’t blame you, actually.”

“You  _have_  come a long way,” Erwin smiles, and then, a whisper against his neck: “i’m so proud of you.”

“Shut up,” he huffs without any real venom, blooming bright under the compliment all the same. “Don’t get overly emotional now.”

“I can’t help it,” Erwin confesses, “you make me feel things that I ache to voice. I do love you, after all.”

“Just, fuckin’ - stop - shit, Erwin.” He rolls of Erwin’s lap and buries his face into some pillows, his blush burning like a furnace on his face.

“You're going to have to learn to accept compliments someday,” Erwin sighs above him, and Levi just flips him off in response.


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eruri week day 4: touch

Levi joined the Survey Corps with little more than rags, memories, and instinct, his transition from thug to soldier made easy without the weight of nouns. No, Erwin observes, Levi did not leave behind people, places or things.

But he  _does_  bring an interesting item.

Now, just under two years later, he holds it in his hands: a red velvet cloak, thick and heavy against his fingers. There are holes and tears in it which have very obviously been patched up with less extravagant material. It’s in good condition, clean, although it smells of disuse. Levi pulls it out every so often, donning it one day, boxing it the next, unsure of where it fits in. If it fits in at all. He exchanged crimson for forest green long ago.

“You weren’t wearing this when we first pursued you,” Erwin comments one night, pulling Levi back from the brink of sleep. The man shifts on the couch placed in Erwin’s quarters, yawns as he eyes the commander playing with the cloak behind his desk.

“No,” Levi admits, “it was too heavy to keep wearing once you chased us, so I had to drop it in the street. I went back for it a few days after I joined the corps.”

“I see” Erwin murmurs softly. “Levi, this is really fine-quality material found only in the Capital. Even the wealthiest elites i’ve met don’t have this, where did you get it?”

“Mm’stole it from the King’s curtains,” Levi yawns nonchalantly, rubbing at an eye with a small, balled fist.

“ _What_?” Erwin splutters, lips turned up and stopping at the edge of a laugh. “You  _stole_  it from the King? From the  _King’s curtains_?” He all but leans over the table now in disbelief.

“Yeah, so?” Levi asks with a raised brow, failing to see where the problem is.

“How, and why? Just…how?” Erwin presses, more amused than anything.

Levi stands up with a stretch and a triple pop of his spine. He makes his way behind Erwin’s desk, dropping unceremoniously into his lap and wrapping his arms around his neck. “How? With my gear. And I did it because I was a bitter son of a bitch. We were all really cold one day and so I snuck out of the underground to steal some blankets from the rich scum in the interior. I remember Farlan telling me not to, saying that I wouldn’t find anything, that I’d be caught by those military pigs and put to death.”

Levi smiles now, wistful and sad. “That pissed me off, so I told him that I didn’t give a fuck, that I’d steal from the goddamn King himself if i had to and get away with it. He called me an idiot and I got so angry that I actually broke into the King’s room just to prove a point.”

“You weren’t pursued?” Erwin breathes as he brings his arms around Levi’s middle, pupils blown. “How did you get in?”

“The window. And yeah, I was in there for like two fucking minutes before I heard guards yelling, but I was too proud to go back empty-handed, so I pulled out my knife and cut what I could of the curtain next to me. It was a close call, but I just managed to get away.”

“And it was just big enough to turn into a cloak,” Erwin adds, tracing the material with a finger now.

“Well, enough to make cloaks for all three of us, but Farlan and Isabel ruined theirs pretty early on.”

“Do you like how it feels?”

“Yeah,” Levi sighs, his plump lips adorned with a little smile, “it’s beautiful. I love it. That’s why i’ve kept it all this time.”

Erwin is silent for a while, thinking, pondering. “You really are insane,” he declares eventually with a deep laugh, reminded of how he got it. The corners of his eyes crinkle at the edges and Levi licks at them teasingly.

“Says the Commander of the  _Survey Corps._ ”

Erwin presses a kiss to his throat, serious now. “You could have been killed.”

“I don’t regret it,” Levi admits after a moment, “I remember wondering why  _we_  had to freeze to death while the pigs in the capital never went cold a day in their fucking life. I was so angry back then…I didn’t care about death, which is ironic since we were fighting it everyday.”

Erwin brings him to his chest, holding him tight as though the warmth he provides now could somehow make up for the warmth he lacked back then.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Erwin whispers, and Levi traces the peak of a sharp cheekbone with a slender finger.

“Me too.”

He runs a hand through the black silk of Levi’s hair, murmurs gently against the sensitive spot by his ear. “There will come a day when this government won’t be sufficient anymore. If i’m alive to change that, when it comes, i’ll make sure that in the end you get all the velvet in the world.”

“Again, and you call  _me_  insane,” Levi scoffs. Erwin gives him a smile, fond and knowing. 

He looks forward to the day he makes love to Levi in velvet.


	46. Chapter 46

a sequel to [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1102594/chapters/2217803). best thing i’ve ever written tbh

 

“where is it” levi screems as he points to Erwens arm. “wheres the rest of it l ol”

“youure so fucken r00d” erwin yells angrely. his eyebrow hair raises on end and levi wimpers in fear

“dont hurt me” levi cries, “erwin pls”

“only if u kiss my scar” erwin says. levi screems again and attakc him with a broom.

“i’d rather kiss a titans asshole l mao”

“youd know what a titan’s asshole is like" erwin sscreemed “uve been cheating on me again”


	47. Chapter 47

Erwin doesn’t make it to the basement.

He lies in a grassy ditch on a dusty road to wall Maria, another two limbs stolen and blood watering the soil. Levi kneels beside him as he fights for breath, for another moment, a little more time. A final win. His victories never were complete ones.

“Find out the truth for me, Levi,” he rasps with chapped, blood painted lips. A last wish. Levi doesnt speak through his tears, but he doesn’t have to. Erwin knows he’ll see it through.

“I should have broken your legs,” Levi says, made numb by fury. And Erwin laughs, of course he does. Despite it all, despite his losses and his failures and his regrets.

“If things were different…you would have come…first,” he croaks softly, and Levi’s eyes blow wide as he huddles over his dismembered body.

It’s the last thing Erwin Smith says before he dies.


	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: How's Levi when he's horny?
> 
> hc: affectionate af.

He knows what Levi wants as soon as he drops down into his lap. As usual, he leans back against the broadness of his chest and looks up at him with big eyes, ash irises blown wide, imploring. A petite hand rubs at one of Erwin’s thighs lovingly.

“Forget this shit,” he purrs as he takes the quill out of Erwin’s hand and shoves his papers away. “I miss you.”

“I do wonder which  _part_  of me it is that you miss,” Erwin quips with a smile. Levi chooses to ignore the retort, just stretches his slender neck out to kiss his jaw. The act is simple, but the sweetness of it starts to erode his determination all the same.

“I’m busy, darling,” he sighs as Levi now rains kisses on whatever skin he can reach. It’s only half a lie. He  _can_  spare a couple of minutes, but he wants to prolong the affection for as long as he can; Levi is almost intolerably endearing when aroused, and he can never get enough of it. 

Without a word, Levi stands up and straddles him. He takes Erwin’s face in both hands and presses a soft kiss to each eyelid, lips travelling down to press against the tip of his nose. It feels like worship. 

“So pretty,” he hums, turning Erwin’s face to nibble behind his ear, “such a pretty boy.” Levi runs a hand through his neatly arranged hair, feeling the gold locks slip between his fingers. Erwin lets him take what he wants, just closes his eyes and revels in the attention. He’s almost ashamed at how much he glows from those few words alone.

He moves his hands down to rest against his small waist, and that’s when Levi starts to rut against him softly, one hand in his hair and the other holding firm onto his bolo tie. 

“You’re cute,” Erwin chuckles, a sound that turns into a small moan as Levi rubs against him a little harder. He doesn’t miss the way Levi’s gaze travels down to his lips.

“I’ve been thinking about you all fucking day,” Levi whispers, voice low but hoarse. He takes Erwin’s bottom lip between his teeth and almost goes cross-eyed trying to peer down and see the plump flesh bruise as he rolls it about.

“Yeah?” Erwin prods lazily.

“’course” Levi exhales, releasing his swollen lip and giving it a kitten lick. “Look at you, how could I not?” Erwin smiles at him and Levi kisses the corner of his mouth.

They make love on his desk, a flurry of papers and clothes and moans thrown about the room. At one point Levi looks him straight in the eyes, even calls him  _baby,_ and it takes everything he’s got not to melt into a pathetic puddle on the floor. 

But then it’s over, and Levi is tucking himself back into his briefs with a scowl. “Make sure you clean all this shit up,” he demands as he puts his gear back on, and Erwin sighs into his sticky hands.

At least Levi always kisses him on the forehead before he leaves. 


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the 50th drabble arrives with Nile, Erwin and Mike! A fab trio to celebrate it with :)
> 
> Anonymous: Can you write Erwin, Mike and Nile in their Trainees time? Is that even proper english idk .. maybe Erumike I don't care I'm in desperate need of some fluff immediately or I may diieee (as always you don't necessarily have to, maybe I'm just goona look up some fluff fics on ao3 c: )

“You know why you piss me off, eyebrows?” Nile asks angrily one day as he slams down his mug of cheap beer. Erwin calmly places his own down, ready for the latest barrage of criticism.

“Reason number twenty-four,” Mike narrates drily.

“You shut up,” he hisses in his direction. He turns his attention back to Erwin, half climbing over the table to get right in his face. “You’ve always got your head up your ass, always thinking about tomorrow. Can’t you just fucking live in the moment?”

“Everything we do is for -”

“Oh my fucking walls he’s going to deliver a speech again,” Nile interrupts with a dramatic groan. He chugs half his beer down in one go, exasperated. 

“You think you’re so fucking good, don’t you  _Smith_?” He spits the word like he always does.

“I don’t recall doing anything to give that impression,” Erwin says smoothly as he raises an eyebrow on his stupidly handsome face.

“Well that’s just it, isn’t it, you  _know_  you’re good but you don’t show it. You’re allowed to act smug once in a while, that modest golden boy act just makes you look even more arrogant than you really are. Makes me want to punch you in the face.”

He  _hates_  it, hates the way Erwin is oblivious to his own genius, the way he never stops a moment to dwell on his own successes, as though they will always be there, just a small, average part of his perfect life.

It’s smug. It’s annoying. It’s not normal.

No, he is not fucking jealous of Erwin Smith. 

“You’re drunk,” Erwin says, voice aloof, almost fatherly. “You should go to bed, at this rate you wont be fit for training tomorrow.”

“Don’t chastise me like you’re better than me,” Nile all but yells across the bar, grabbing the attention of almost everyone in it. He’s not going to scramble to listen to Erwin’s advice, not like all the other pathetic trainees who lap up the words that spill from his tongue like men parched for drink.

Mike sips quietly as he spectates, amused by the latest episode of the Nile-and-Erwin show.

“You’re right,” Erwin says, “i’m sorry. It’s not my business how much you drink.” 

His eyes are genuinely apologetic and it just makes Nile even angrier. He fists the front of Erwin’s shirt and pulls him up. “ _Oh fuck_   _you_ , bastard, all up on your high horse.”

Mike starts to laugh and Erwin can’t help but laugh with him now, eyes crinkling at the edges at the inanity of it all. “There’s no escape for you, Erwin,” Mike comments with a smile.

“Damned if i do, damned if I don’t. That’s how it is with Nile” he responds, and Nile throws him back against his chair.

“Don’t talk about me like i’m not here!”

“You  _have_  to know you’re unreasonable,” Erwin states, “it’s one of your biggest flaws. If you don’t change, i’m sure that in the fut-”

“See what I mean!” Nile exclaims, turning to Mike now, arms thrown out in an appeal. “He thinks he fucking knows it all.” Mike just shrugs.

Erwin leans over the table and ruffles his hair, sending Nile into another fit of anger. “Come now, Nile, we’re friends. We’re going to join the Corps together. Don’t you trust that I just want the best for you?”

“Whatever,” he huffs, arms crossed and eyes averted. 

Truth be told, if there’s one person he wants by his side in the Survey Corps, it’s Erwin Smith. 

“When I become Commander, i’m going to make you shine my shoes everyday.”

Erwin laughs, unfazed as usual. He picks up his beer and takes a sip. “I look forward to it.”


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked: Imagine your otp is having sex when they hear the ice cream and they stop mid-fuck to run outside and get some. please write some eruris omg :D

Erwin is balls deep in his ass when they first hear the jingle. 

Levi steadies himself as he’s pounded into from behind, the taste of silver and paint renewing itself every time a forceful push of Erwin’s hips has his face pressing into the wall. 

“ _Shit,_ ” he sighs as he lets his head hang between his outstretched arms. He loves it when Erwin comes home in a mood, all horny and rough and animal. They didn’t even make it to the bed. “ _Nnn, fuck!”_

Erwin fucks him just right, holding him up slightly by his ass cheeks for better access, his prostate being hammered into so good he might just pass out. 

Until Erwin stops.

“I think I hear the ice cream truck,” he says, and for a minute Levi is speechless.

“You literally have your cock up my ass right now,” he spits, temper rising and threatening to spill.

“You’re right, sorry.” Erwin kisses his shoulder before he picks up again, and now he’s close,  _so_  close.

But Erwin’s pace slows, grows uneven and confused. “Are you…gonna come?” he pants.

“No,” Erwin breathes, “I’m just…a bit distracted.” The ice-cream truck is closer now, the outdated sing-song tune echoing from a few houses down.

“God damn it, Erwin!” he hisses. “Forget that shit and finish  _fucking_ me already.” Erwin’s stopped moving altogether and he has never endured greater torture.

“I really want the chocolate ice-cream with Malteasers in it, do you think they will have that in stock?”

Levi opens his mouth to spit more venom, but then closes it. That actually sounds really fucking good. “Shit, I don’t know, they did last time. But the neighbours bought it all, remember?”

Erwin pulls out, unfazed by the squelch of lube and cum. He picks his pants off the ground and puts them back on, digging around in his back pocket for his wallet.

“Be quick,” Levi urges, “and get two of them.”  
  
“I will,” he promises as he throws a shirt on and all but runs out of the house to make it in time. 

 

 


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked: How's Erwin when he's horny?

He knows what Erwin wants as soon as his hand slithers under the table and onto his knee. He’s feeling confident. The meeting has been going well and, so far, the council looks set to approve the next expedition. Erwin’s silver-tongue has worked its magic again and it has him in high spirits, premature as they may be.

Nile starts talking and that’s Levi’s cue to stop listening, so he turns to Erwin with a fierce glare. “Th’fuck are you doing,” he half whispers, half hisses, grey eyes narrowing as his hand abandons the bone of his knee to travel up his thigh slowly.

“I love it when you’re by my side,” Erwin whispers back, and then, a little closer to his ear, “it’s a good look for you,  _Captain_.”

“Egotistical bastard,” he scoffs, but the commander is unfazed. His hand continues to rub along his inner thigh and he allows it; Erwin is generally handsy to begin with, and he can’t deny that he feels a little thrill at the illicit touch. 

Once his hand starts to travel further, however, he clamps down on Erwin’s wrist to halt the motion. He’s already getting hard, and this isn’t the right place. “Control yourself,” he berates in a low breath, and lets go of his wrist, thinking he’ll have the good sense to stop. 

He’s wrong. 

He spends the next few minutes subtly slapping Erwin’s hand away, but it continues its crusade, moving slick up his thigh and straight onto his crotch. “I want you,” he says in low growl, and he barely manages a protest before Erwin is squeezing his cock through his uniform pants. He bites down on a knuckle to suppress a moan.

All the while, Erwin nods at Nile as he speaks, face stern and attentive as though he’s listening. Levi knows he’s not hearing anything except for the sound of his little gasps and suppressed, breathy moans. 

None of the other council members have any clue what’s going on, so it comes as a surprise when Levi suddenly moans, an extremely loud  _ohhhh_ as Erwin fondles his junk with violent vigour.  
  
Erwin instantly retracts his hand and joins the others in shooting Levi a confused look, a wonderful performance. He would applaud but he’s too busy being mortified. 

“-my god, _”_ he finishes off quickly, praying to the walls he didn’t believe in that it sounded intentional.

“Is there a problem, Captain Levi?” Nile asks with raised brow.

“Yes, there is, shitbeard. You talk too fucking much. Hurry it up.” The man scowls but the meeting does eventually end, and he finds he’s never been more grateful for the uniform skirt as he filters out of the room, boner nicely concealed. 

Erwin keeps his hand on his shoulder as they walk, thumb occasionally skittering over to the nape of his neck when no one is around.

“I’m going to cut off your hands one day,” Levi says once they’re back in their room, door locked and Erwin dropped to his knees. He’s already fumbling greedily at his belts.

“Oh? But then i couldn’t do this,” he says with a smug smile as he takes his aching length in one hand and tweaks a nipple in the other.

“Pervert,” he exhales. “Why do I even -  _ah -_ love you.”

“I haven’t the faintest idea,” Erwin replies, and wraps his lips around his cock.


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: Is it alright if you wrote an eruri fic inspired by "just give me a reason", a song by P!NK ?

 

> _Just a second we’re not broken just bent  
>  And we can learn to love again  
>  _ _–  
>  _ _I’m sorry I don’t understand  
>  _ _Where all of this is coming from  
>  _ _I thought that we were fine  
>  _ _Your head is running wild again_
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
> He wakes up alone again, the dip of the mattress to his right as abysmal and unsettling in its vacancy as ever. He rubs sleep out of his eyes before checking his phone, the light burning his retinas. 6:23am.
> 
> _‘where r you’_ he types, sending off the message. 
> 
> ‘ _At work, lots to do today,’_ Erwin replies almost immediately, followed by ‘ _It’s still early, you should go back to sleep_.’
> 
> He’s not stupid. He knows Erwin leaves early to escape him, but that’s fine. Things have been less than ideal lately, but it will pass - every relationship has bumps in the road, he just needs to give Erwin his space.
> 
> ‘ _Ok_ ,’ he replies, because he doesn’t want to pick a fight through text. ‘ _Have a good day, love you._ ’
> 
> Erwin doesn’t reply until lunch time, a short message that reads ‘ _Love you too. Please keep tonight free.”_
> 
> _–_
> 
> They finish up dinner - a standard affair with the usual small talk, although it’s drier than usual. Erwin is different tonight in a way he can’t really pinpoint; even after four years together, he still can’t get a read on the man. The mood is a little awkward, a little tense, so he throws out a line, a life buoy to keep them afloat.
> 
> “How about a massage,” he tempts, taking his hand and starting towards the bedroom. 
> 
> Erwin pulls away. “Actually…I was hoping we could talk.”
> 
> “Oh?…what about?” It’s a useless question, a knee-jerk reaction fuelled by denial. He already knows the answer, that two letter word that means everything and nothing.
> 
> Erwin sits down on the couch with a sigh, and Levi follows. He waits for him to speak, but for a moment all he does is run his hands over his face and through his hair, blonde silk slipping through his fingers as he gazes absently ahead of him. “Surely you already have an idea of what this is about,” he says eventually. He turns now to look at him and his eyes are sharp, made even more cutting by the dark bags encircling them.
> 
> “About us,” Levi croaks, feeling small, so small, like a child caught in parental inquisition. He feels like Erwin might give him a gold star for supplying the correct answer.
> 
> “We’re not working, Levi,” Erwin says, and although his voice is steady, he seems to sink under the weight of the confession. drowning. 
> 
> “Relationships are hard - ” Levi begins, thumping heart scorching a hole in his chest, but is interrupted by the shake of Erwin’s head.
> 
> “No, baby,” he breathes, and his eyes are soft now, he’s never seen them so soft. “I mean…we’re really not working.” His voice breaks halfway and Levi’s hand automatically flies to his mouth in abject horror, because this is suddenly real, so so real and he doesn’t know how to register what is happening.
> 
> “…I think it’s time to accept that we should go our separate ways.”
> 
> He sits unmoving, shocked into numb stupidity. Theres a ringing in his ears and time stops, his face grows warm, burning, as unsolicited tears gather at his rims, suspended as they wait for time to return - for the harsh whip of reality to command them to spill. 
> 
> “Where is all this coming from,” he manages, even though his voice doesn’t sound like his own. “We have a few fights and…you…you’re just fucking give up?”
> 
> Erwin reaches out for him but he slaps his hand away, growing angry and hysterical now. “And you just fucking, sat there and had dinner with me, text me saying you love me, and the whole time you knew you were going to dump me like this -”
> 
> “I do love you,” Erwin is quick to say, hands pleading now as he tries to get Levi under control.
> 
> “Fuck off!” he spits, brows pulling together, “you can’t tell me that while you’re here trying to…to fucking just…get rid of me!” He whips his head to the side, because if he keeps looking at him he’ll lose the battle against his barely-suppressed tears.
> 
> “You know it’s not that simple, Levi,” Erwin sighs tiredly, and he looks old beyond his years. “Just because I think we should break up, it doesn’t mean I don’t still love you deeply. ”
> 
> He considers him for a moment, trying to compose himself, because none of that makes sense, none of  _this_  is making any sense to him. “If you really love me, we can still fix this,” he says, “you’re just imagining that all these problems are unsolvable, you think it’s going to be like this forever, but it won’t be, Erwin.” He feels his case getting stronger as Erwin listens to him, feels hope budding within. He can salvage this. “We just need to try harder.”
> 
> “We’ve tried everything,” Erwin says.
> 
> “No we haven’t, Erwin. We can go to couples therapy again - I promise I won’t skip them anymore. And we’ll take more holidays together, if we can just get leave -”
> 
> Erwin takes Levi’s hands into his own and brings them to his lips, pressing a small, soft kiss to his knuckles. “You’ve said those things before,” he whispers, “we keep making promises we’re never going to keep.”
> 
> “Don’t give up on me!” Levi all but yells, “do i mean so fucking little to you, fucking,  _shit,_ ” he curses.
> 
> “It’s no longer about effort Levi, it’s not about that anymore…i don’t feel the same way, things are different.” And then it comes, the final blow. “I don’t enjoy being with you anymore.”
> 
> “Oh,” Levi breathes, and he thinks he might just throw up, except he doesn’t. Instead he just dies a little inside, eyelids lowering in defeat, and the pain, the acceptance must show in his eyes because now Erwin is burying his face into his stomach, chanting ‘ _sorry, Levi, i’m so sorry’_ again and again.
> 
> He lets the man sob into his shirt, made passive by it all. Eventually he starts stroking his hair, gazing up at the ceiling as Erwin continues to cry into his chest. “If a world without me is what you need to be happy,” he says, “then I trust your decision.”
> 
> Erwin looks up at him with red-rimmed eyes, and Levi lets his thumb graze over the points of his wet lashes. 
> 
> “I just hope you don’t regret it.
> 
>  
> 
>  


	53. Chapter 53

He enters his quarters to find Levi sitting on the edge of his bed, legs crossed, expectant. 

“How was it,” he asks as Erwin puts down his travel bags with a heavy sigh. The fatigue is deep in his bones. 

“We’re good to go,” he says, two weeks of ruthless negotiation reduced to five words. “Titans are easier than politics,” he adds with another sigh. He walks over and gives the captain a kiss on the brow. Levi hums, eyes fluttering closed.

“Did those bastards roast your ass again?” he asks as he holds onto Erwin’s collar. His eyes are soft, the way they usually are when he hasn’t seen his commander for a while.

“It’s nothing new,” Erwin says as he kneels before Levi and rubs his hands up and down his thighs. “I did discover something interesting, though.” Levi quirks a thin brow in question, and so he continues. “They write about you in the capital.”

Levi leans back on his elbows as he considers the information. “Like in the paper?”

“No,” Erwin says with a shake of his head. “Like in romance novels.”

“What,” Levi splutters, “are you fucking serious?” His brows rise impossibly high in disbelief.

“Yes,” Erwin says with an amused smile, “I had the good fortune to read one. You should see the way they write about you, Levi.” He reaches for his belt, fingers working lazily. He pulls the leather out and tosses it aside, unzipping the front and slowly lowering his uniform pants. Levi lifts his hips up to help. “It’s remarkable.”

“Go on,” Levi pushes, eyes never leaving his face.

“They write love stories, humanity’s strongest rescuing damsels in distress, saving his sweetheart from the grip of a titan, that sort of thing. Stuff for lonely noblewomen.” Levi scoffs and Erwin hushes him by running his hands up his now bare thighs. “They use all sorts of words to describe your body,” he says, pressing a kiss onto his knee. 

“Skin like milk, face as pale as the moon, chest of ivory and cream and plaster.” He narrates softly and Levi listens attentively, rapt. “Humanity’s strongest is unblemished, smooth as satin.” Erwin runs his hands under his shirt, up over his abdomen and ribs, fingers tracing the angry bumps and ridges, the sporadic mountain chains of protruding scar tissue. He presses his lips to a fading burn on his hip.

“Head of hair like black silk,” he continues, “his palms soft and delicate.” He brings Levi’s war-hardened hands to his mouth now, feeling the rough, calloused skin graze against his lips. “He is also completely hairless, apparently,” and Erwin’s lips twitch upwards. “…everywhere.”

Levi’s eyes are impossibly wide. “What a crock of shit,” he says, but his voice is a low whisper. Erwin noses a little red ditch on his thigh, recalling how Levi had accidentally sliced himself there with his blades. His body is littered with scars and bruises, a used canvas. But there is room for more, and so Erwin sucks purple on his inner thigh, intentionally ignoring the heat and twitch of Levi’s cock.

“Did you…like it?” Levi asks, tentative, eyes shining with poorly hidden insecurity. 

Erwin stands up, placing both hands on Levi’s thighs. He spreads his legs wide before bending them, knees held up to his ears. He leans over him, keeping him in place, and kisses him deep, sucking his lower lip between his teeth and nibbling on it. A flush spreads across Levi’s skin but he is quiet as he waits for a response.

“I hated it,” Erwin answers.

Levi looks to the side, thinking. “So you prefer me like this,” he says, “all beat up and -”

“Beautiful,” Erwin finishes off, leaving no room for alternative adjectives. “I wouldn’t want you any other way.”

Levi stretches out his neck for another kiss, apparently having accepted the answer. And why wouldn’t he, Erwin thinks, because there has never been a need for poetry between them, for embellished declarations of love. War makes everything simple, including love, and at the end of the day they are simple men. 

Erwin obliges him with another deep kiss, breaking only to breathe, cherishing the puffs of hot air released against his lips. It makes his hair stand on end and his cock stir.


	54. Chapter 54

The first time Erwin pushes him onto his bed with soft, lust-blown eyes and a fond smile, he panics. He wants this, has wanted this for  _so_  long, but he’s scared. 

He wants to tell him he’s never been touched like this before, that he’s never taken a lover, that Erwin claimed his first kiss ten minutes ago. He wants to say it all as he swallows moisture down to the arid muscle of his throat, but all that topples out of his gaping mouth is a pathetic ‘ _please’._

Erwin understands it to mean he wants more, moving his hand down to knead his clothed cock as he plants wet kisses down the side of his neck. The sensations are too much, too overpowering. 

He’s overwhelmed.

“ _God_ , stop,” he says weakly, because he’s all but lost his voice. His heart is beating too fast, his mind reeling in distress, incapable of enjoying any of it - it’s a miracle he got this far. Erwin’s hands continue their pilgrimage, roaming all over his chest, down his thighs, back up into his hair as he claims his trembling lips. 

“Let me hear you, Levi,” Erwin says between torturous kisses and bites to his nipples. Blissfully unaware.

It’s when Erwin’s hands travel down to undo his uniform pants that a wire snaps. His mind goes into overdrive, his body working on its own. He is empowered by adrenalin and fear and something else he can’t name. Erwin’s hand snakes into his briefs and he’s fighting for air, body calling for flight.

“I said  _stop!”_ he yells as he brings an arm across Erwin’s face, sending the man staggering backwards with the most shocked expressed he’s ever seen him wear.

He brings a hand up to his face, feeling the skin where Levi’s knuckles clobbered his cheek. Levi breathes hard from his place on the bed, face red and chest heaving violently as he gathers his limbs together. He feels bad, so fucking bad, worse than he has ever felt in his entire life. He wants to cry at how dejected Erwin looks.

The air is so heavy he can almost feel it pressing him down.

“I apologise,” Erwin says after a moment of shocked silence, his voice a rough croak. His eyes dart around the room, landing on anywhere but him like the mere look of him hurts. “I…I honestly thought you wanted this, i’m so sorry Levi. I shouldn’t have push-…I shouldn’t have.” His hands shake as he takes a few steps back, as though assuring Levi that he won’t get any closer, that he’s safe from him.

_Fucking say something, you fucking idiot._ He doesn’t even know where to begin explaining himself, where to begin apologising, how to salvage this moment. He’s never been good with words, never been good with much of anything other than killing, surviving, and falling for people he’ll eventually alienate.

“I have to go,” is what comes out of his mouth, even as he violently, _violently_  curses himself and damns himself to hell.  _Shit, fuck, no no no this is so bad._ Erwin allows him to pass with a watery-eyed nod, hands tame by his side, his cheek still blazing with rejection.

* * *

He can’t sleep that night, not until he convinces himself that he will speak to Erwin in the morning. 

* * *

Morning comes and he is no more brave for it. He decides on the afternoon, which soon turns into night. One day becomes three, three days a week. Erwin says nothing. His blue eyes harden whenever he sees him. His palms and pits sweat at the mere thought of approaching him. 

* * *

A week turns into a fortnight. He means to speak to him. He will when he has sufficiently steeled himself.

Sometimes he can still feel the phantom press of Erwin’s lips on his neck. It tortures him. 

* * *

He tries to write Erwin a letter but nothing sounds right; he’s not very literate to begin with, and he’s too proud to ask for help.

* * *

They maintain a professional relationship, commander and his captain, nothing more, nothing less.

* * *

Two months later he decides it’s too late, that Erwin is surely beyond forgiveness. It still occupies his mind but the guilt starts to fade, there are titans to fight and it’s soon replaced by the loss of soldiers and friends. 

* * *

Four months later it’s a distant memory. Friendly banter between them returns in morsels. War cements broken bonds like nothing else.

* * *

He loves him, but it was probably for the best anyway.

* * *

Maybe he will be braver in the next life.


	55. gfdi Hange part 3

Erwin reaches over for Levi’s drink. He’s thirsty and he finished his own. Levi slaps his hand away with a snarl.

“Levi,” he scolds, “we talked about this. Sharing.”

“I never agreed to share germs,” he quips.

Erwin leans over the table, out of ear shot. “You had me in your mouth no less than 20 minutes ago.”

“Took you like a champion, too!” Hange chirps as she materializes out of thin air and gives the Captain a hearty slap on the back. Levi chokes on his bread.

Hange picks some vegetables off Erwin’s plate with her fingers, laughing at his dumbfounded expression. “Yep, I saw everything!” she sings.

“Shut the fuck up shit head, you don’t know what you’re talking about - ,”

Hange directs her gaze to Levi’s mouth as he speaks, apparantely in deep thought. “How does it fit,” she interrupts, voice all wonder and amazement. It’s Erwin’s turn to choke. Levi covers his mouth in an act of thinly veiled insecurity.

“Hange,” Erwin starts. “How…where”

“In the stables,” she answers, “I was there the whole time!”

“And you…just watched us like a fucking pervert?,” Levi grits through his teeth, hand clenching around a spoon.

“I was fascinated!” she says in defence, raising her hands. “Erwin looks so ugly when he comes, I never expected that!” she all but yells across the dining hall, making multiple heads turn.

“God fucking damnit Hange!”

That night Levi rubs a pouty Erwin’s back, telling him he looks beautiful when he comes


	56. Chapter 56

 

“Where’s eyebrows,” Levi asks as he drops his backpack on the floor and slumps into a seat.

“Fucking hello to you too,” Nile says with a scowl.

“Oh? Did I offend you?” he smirks as he reaches over and pinches Nile’s cheek. “Poor weasel.”

Nile slaps his hand away and takes a sip from his coffee cup. “Too early for that, dick head. And I don’t know where Erwin is, he’s never late on exam day.”

“I’ll call him,” Levi says, hand whip-fast into his pocket to get his phone.

“Of course you will,” Nile says with a knowing smile, and Levi can feel his heart climbing up into his throat to settle and choke him.

“What the fuck is that meant to mean,” he spits angrily, phone in a vice grip.

“Just that you’re up his ass,” Nile shrugs.

“Fuck off,” Levi says as he dials Erwin’s number and waits to hear the groggy morning voice he will never admit he adores. He’ll deal with Dok later.

* * *

The three of them go out for more coffee after their exam. Erwin and Nile argue about a particular question. Levi just watches Erwin’s throat bob as he all but chugs coffee down whilst he listens to Nile talk. He respects that about Erwin, that he always lets people speak, gives them their time on the floor.

“What about you, Levi?” Erwin asks as he tilts his head towards him now, his frazzled hair shining in the sunlight filtering into the cafe. “How did you find it?” Erwin has a way of making every question sound personal, intimate even.

“Uhm, it was ok,” he says simply. Erwin smiles at him like it was exactly what he expected, a small upturn of the lips that says ‘ _that’s Levi.’_

Erwin continues to discuss the exam, why some questions were unfair, how he will send the professor an unimpressed email later. Levi listens attentively until his phone buzzes in his pocket. He’s got a message.

_‘You’re up his ass alright, and not even in the way that you want to be ;)’ -_ Nile.

_‘How about_ you _kiss_ my _ass you greasy weasel looking fuck_ _’_  he sends back, blushing and furious. Nile just smirks once he reads the message, and so he kicks him under the table. He yelps loud into the cafe.

“Levi,” Erwin scolds lightly.

“His face was making me angry,” he defends. 

Erwin just smiles at him like it was exactly what he expected. He wants to take that smile and put it in his pocket.

 


	57. Chapter 57

He watches the captain bend over to dust at his bookshelf, ever oblivious, and Erwin can’t help but wonder how he would react if he knew. If he only just  _knew_  the lewd thoughts that his commander entertained, if he only knew the fantasies that made his cock give a silent groan under the safe canopy of his desk.

“What’s on your mind,” Levi asks over his shoulder, senses tingling now. 

 _Your ass,_  Erwin wants to say,  _your unbelievably perfect, celestial_   _ass_.

Levi doesn’t wear his uniform skirt today, and the sight of those tantalising globes hugged tight by his pants has Erwin growing in his own. He imagines Levi stripped bare, sweaty forehead flat against his strategy books as he brings his hands around to spread himself, a sinuous valley leading to a perfect, rosy hole, fluttering in anticipation.  _Don’t you want it,_  Levi would say, and Erwin would hear the smirk in his voice as he grips his cheeks a little harder and nudges his ass out in offering. Erwin would accept the gift of course - how could he ever refuse it - would bring a finger over the puckered mouth, press a kiss into velvet skin of his neck as -

“What’re you thinking,” Levi says, turning around now. “Is it about the next expedition? Tell me.” He looks genuinely concerned, and Erwin suddenly aches to bring him to his chest. Levi does this to him, makes the fire of lust plummet into a low burn of adoration within seconds. He has to harden his gaze just to evade suspicion.

“I will,” he says calmly, even as his clothed cock rubs hot and torturous against the bottom of his desk. “When the time is right.”


	58. Chapter 58

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hashtag-eruri asked: sick eruris!! (do I mean ill sick or cool sick idk I'll leave that up to you ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Erwin is stretched out on the couch, neatly mummified in five blankets as Levi spoons soup into his mouth. He takes the food willingly, almost robotically, his gaze absent as he tries to comprehend his plagued state.

“Still with me, old man?” Levi snorts. 

Erwin gives a weak nod. “M’nose,” he manages to say, and Levi quickly brings a tissue to his nose just in time to catch the leakage. 

“Disgusting,” he says, but he looks so oddly pleased that Erwin can’t help a croaky laugh. Levi has been taking care of him for two days and, despite false protests, he has never seen him happier.

“What’s funny?” he demands

“You always geh’so clucky when’m sihck.”

“Tch. I’m only doing this because you’re a damn useless man-child.”

“Clucky clucky clucky,” Erwin chants. “You love taking care of’me.” 

He doesn’t mention the fact that Levi gets overly affectionate when he appoints himself caretaker, kissing him on his cheeks, eyelids and forehead every time he comes around to check on him. Even now his hand brushes through his sweaty hair as he all but climbs on top of him to splay his limbs out over him like a cat. 

“I wish you were this attached t’me when’m  _not_  sihck,” Erwin quips, and Levi gives the lobe of his ear a rough bite. He gives a soft whine at the pain and Levi is quick to press apologetic kisses to it.

“Sorry…you just look so fucking cute like this,” Levi admits, fingers roaming softly over the warm, clammy flesh of his face now. He traces the tips of his lashes with the pad of his finger and Erwin’s eyes flicker shut, the hand in his hair lulling him to sleep.

“You’re g’nna geh sick,” he warns, voice rising and lowering in pitch as though to prove a point.

“I don’t care.” He presses a kiss to Erwin’s hairline and closes his eyes, the distant hum of the afternoon news in the background sending them both to sleep.


	59. Chapter 59

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked: Levi getting Jeaned and walking in on two people, then saying, "....l'll come later,"

He walks in on the repulsive sight right after midnight. 

He enters the kitchen, intending to have an intimate moment washing his tea cup, when he notices them on the floor: completely naked, Connie with his hands on Sasha’s exposed breasts, her own fumbling awkwardly around his crotch. He’s rocking against nothing in particular as exaggerated huffs and moans fall from their lips.

The display is so pitiable he’s not even sure he can call it sex, and he’s almost certain now that he has walked in on their first time.

He stops dead in his tracks, and at the choked gasp that escapes unwillingly they both look up. They’re horrified beyond belief, faces drained of colour, mouths falling into O’s so wide they look stupider than the fucking titans.

He can almost hear the sound of Connie’s cock deflating.

They say nothing and he responds with a silence of his own, violated beyond belief, all instincts hammering down on his flight button, yet he feels like he should admonish them, scold them or do something appropriate to his rank and the situation before him.

But then he notices that Sasha is still holding Connie’s length and the urge to gag is strong, so strong, because he always thought these two had a sibling-like bond and it’s all become extremely incestuous in a way he can’t handle.

“….I'll come back later,” he chokes out, and all but scampers out and back into Erwin’s quarters.

“What’s wrong?” Erwin asks, confused, as Levi all but slams the door behind him and scrambles into his lap.

“Hold me,” he whispers, bringing Erwin’s arms around him and pushing his face into his neck.


	60. Chapter 60

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chunyunjae asked: eruri prompt based on this "You and I, we’ve been at it so long but still got the strongest fire. You and I, we still know how to talk, know how to walk that wire. Sometimes I feel like the world is against me, the sound of your voice, baby that's what saves me. When we're together I feel so invincible. Cause it's us against the world, you and me against them all." Yass it's the lyrics for Us against the world sung by Westlife, cheesy but it matches them unffff

The Council does not approve the next expedition; they need time to regroup and discuss some major Concerns. It’s politicial euphemism for ‘we need to decide whether your loss is our gain’. Erwin knows the language well, is fluent in it.

“They need time to measure the diameter of their assholes,” Levi comments rather loudly on their way back to their inn, the meeting having just ended.

“Not so loud, Levi,” Erwin scolds softly. His eyes glaze over with disappointment, the rather predictable (and common) Council decision feeling heavier than usual. He’s tired. Tired of politics, of niceties, of begging for the right to save humanity.

Levi drops onto their bed and Erwin’s head quickly makes its way to his lap, cradled by soft thighs, body and bones sinking into the mattress with a silent groan . Levi strokes his hair.

“Just once I wish it were simple,” Erwin says. It’s not like him to complain, but he’s frustrated, agitation boiling his blood and sending his nerves spitting in all directions like hot oil. “Every damn thing works against us, Levi, I can’t - ”

He stops, because Levi doesn’t need to see this side of him. Shouldn’t see this side of him. ‘Can’t’ is a word he omitted from his vocabulary the day he became commander, making it a point that he should never utter it.

He loves Levi, yes, more than anything, but at the end of the day Levi, too, feeds on his composure. He, too, fears the day his Commander’s voice trembles. Levi is a solid presence in his life, but he needs assurance and hope as much as the next soldier.

“You’re always here,” he says instead. Levi searches his eyes, brings a hand over the thick of his neck.

“Where else would I be,” he responds, voice a soft whisper. Erwin places a kiss on his thigh and it’s all the response he needs.

“Sometimes I think…” Levi begins, “that no matter what happens, whether we find out the truth or win against the titans or not, at least at one point in time there were people who fought for it…for truth and victory.”

He smiles down at Erwin, fingers skittering along the sharp of his cheekbones. “Somehow it’s enough for me to know a man like you existed in this shitty world.”

Erwin doesn’t tell him it’s not enough, not for him, because romanticised hypotheticals will never save him from the memories of his father dragged away, from the screams of those soldiers he condemned to the earth with the point of his hand alone.

But Levi is enough, Levi with his warped, unpredictable optimisim that always appears at the times he needs it most. He would be so alone in this world, had he not had the companionship of this man.

“It’s enough to know you loved me,” he replies, and it’s only half a lie.


	61. Chapter 61

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: How do you think Levi would react if he was a woman and had menstruations. Cramps and bleeding, all the shit that comes with it.

Levi is having a therapeutic moment with the dishes when Erwin materialises behind him, immediately wrapping and coiling around him like a needy slapstick bracelet.

“Erwin…” he warns as the man kisses down his neck, one hand reaching dangerously close to his zipper. Levi promptly elbows him in the stomach. Erwin whines.

“You forgot to check our calendar again, didn’t you,” he frowns, turning around now and drying his hands. He points to the calendar on the fridge where, sure enough, there are a few days marked ‘ _no greedy hands down my pants’_ with angry red ink.

 “I did check it. You’re due two days from now,” Erwin says, looking like a kicked puppy.

“Doesn’t matter, I could be early. You have to take into account a margin of error or you might end up fucking me right when -”

“Alright, Alright,” Erwin cringes, putting both hands up to protect himself from the repulsive imagery. Then he smirks, cupping Levi’s crotch in one quick motion, giving it a little squeeze. “You’re already wearing a pad,” he laughs.

Levi crosses his arms defensively. “So what,” he scowls. Erwin kisses between his brows, hands roaming up and down his sides as he nuzzles into his hair.

“It’s very cute, that’s all,” he says.

* * *

“What about this,” Erwin smirks, lifting up the DVD case to the Spongebob Movie. He waits for Levi’s whip-fast scolding, one of his classic, scathing reviews, perhaps even a 10-point list on why he’d  _rather be taken dry than_   _watch **that**  movie._ Levi gets bitchy about film and he loves it.

Except this time Levi just shrugs, gaze travelling back to the other DVDs. “If you want,” he says, and Erwin knows he didn’t even look at the cover. His face is clammy, one hand pressing down on his stomach, eyes glazed over and distant. All the telltale signs.

“Hey,” he says, “you got them?”

Levi nods. “Let’s be quick, I want to go home.”

They only got here twenty minutes ago, but knowing Levi, he’s not going to be able to stand up for much longer. He takes all the DVDs collected in Levi’s hands and walks him to the counter where he buys them all indiscriminately. 

The drive home is quiet, Levi clutching onto his stomach and whining low in his throat, hissing a  _fuck_  and a  _shit_  every time a particularly painful cramp hits him.

When they arrive, Erwin walks around the car and opens the passenger door for him, Levi all but spilling out onto the floor. Erwin hoists him over his shoulder, locking the car and making for their front door. Levi grumbles, but otherwise doesn’t prevent it.

Once inside, he places Levi on the couch, making for the kitchen to get him a hot water bottle and some aspirin. Levi takes them gratefully, curling up into a little, scowling ball, the hot rubber pressed tight against his abdomen. Erwin throws a blanket over him and crawls towards the dvd player, inserting one of their newly purchased movies.

“What the fuck are you doing,” Levi growls from the couch, and Erwin turns around from his place on the floor, wondering what unknown crime he has committed now.

“Why are you so far away,” Levi says, “come hold me you useless -  _ah, fuck -”_ He crumples in on himself, eyes squeezing shut in pain.

Erwin scrambles to the couch, lifting up the blanket and climbing in behind Levi, wasting no time in brining him to his chest. His hand cards through his hair, the other rubbing warm at the areas not already covered by the water bottle.

“ _Shhh,”_ he coos, taking the remote and pressing the play button, lips latching onto whatever exposed skin he can reach along his neck, showering him in sweet kisses and soft praises. Levi noodles his way back against him, pressing against his warmth, humming now in delight.

They watch the movie in a silence punctuated only by soft laughs, Levi threading his fingers in Erwin’s every now and then, Erwin nibbling and kissing absently at his ear whenever he sees a flash of pain travel over Levi’s face.

“That was a surprisingly good movie,” Levi comments when it ends, the credits to the Spongebob Movie rolling along. Erwin hums in agreement.

Levi rolls around in his embrace, pressing a cheek flat against Erwin’s chest. Erwin smiles down at him, then boops the point of his nose twice. “ _Goofy goober_ ,” he enunciates with a chuckle.

Levi swats his hand away with a laugh of his own. “You’re an idiot,” he says, and then burrows his way into his neck.


	62. Chapter 62

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chemakill asked: Ok, seeing that other Tumblr fic someone requested made me really want to request something too... So... If you feel like it, are you able to write up a little Eruri adoption au? I have to admit that the idea of them adopting a kid together is kinda sweet. Or if you don't feel like that one, maybe a little oneshot of them at some point years into the relationship?

“Erwin! Erwin she’s  _choking_!”

It’s the first time he hears Levi raise his voice in that way in all of the seven years they’ve been together, the horrified cry raising his own hair on end, shocking it vertical. His heart flies to his throat, choking him as he all but catapults himself into the next room.

He finds Levi sitting on the edge of their bed, tapping Mikasa’s back as she coughs and vomits milk all over herself. Her feeding bottle is on the floor, thrown as a result of what Erwin could only assume was Levi’s whip-fast reaction.

“Levi,” he sighs, relief flooding through his lungs. “You really gave me a fright.” He can still feel the violent knock of his heartbeat in his chest, in his head, all over. He wills himself to calm down.

Levi responds with a poorly suppressed sniff and Erwin thinks today is a day of many firsts as he pads over to Levi’s side. “Hey, hey baby, shh,” he coos, rubbing Levi’s back and pressing frenzied kisses to his cheek, “Mikasa is fine, look at her, she’s fine.” Erwin grabs her little hand and waves it at him, earning a gummy smile for his efforts.

“Take her,” Levi croaks, looking away and passing her over to Erwin with trembling hands. His bangs fall into his eyes, red-rimmed pupils barely visible through wisps of his silk black hair. Erwin holds her with one arm, Mikasa babbling into his shoulder now.

“It’s normal to panic, darling,” Erwin says, voice soft yet authoritative, the way Levi needs it to be. “We’ve only had her for a week. We’re going to make mistakes. It’s natural, right?”

Levi sniffs again, looking out the window, unresponsive. “Sorry,” he says after a while, “I fucked up, Erwin… we waited so long, what if-”

“Actually, you didn’t,” he interrupts, wanting to put a stop to the stream of negative thoughts before they could begin. “It’s normal for them to cough and choke on milk at this age, remember the information booklet we read together?” Levi nods reluctantly, arms tightening around himself. He brings a hand out to cup Levi’s cheek, smiling when he leans into the touch, seeking reassurance from the warmth of his palm, recharging.

“You did the right thing, you reacted straight away,” Erwin continues, “you’re a great dad, Levi, even Mikasa thinks so, heh Mika?” He brings both hands to grip her little body now, holding her out near Levi’s face all Simba-like. She presses her little wet lips against Levi in an unconscious kiss, all the milk and drool collected around her mouth transferring to his face. It makes them laugh.

“Spitty baby,” he chuckles groggily, taking her back into his arms, unable to resist those dark dark eyes and fluttering lashes. His eyes are still moist but shine with amusement now at the stubby hands reaching for his lips. He presses kisses into them, tasting salt and sweat and something else tangy that seems to be unique to babies. She manages to grab his lips with tiny fingers, pinching them together, eyes blown wide with amazement at her newly discovered motor skills.

Erwin smiles down at them fondly, thinking not for the first time that week that this is all he’s ever wanted, to see Levi like this, to have this with the man he loves. “I’ll make you a new bottle,” he says, and Levi doesn’t hear him over the sound of his own ridiculous cooing.  


	63. Chapter 63

“You’re visiting Aunt Hange today,” Levi tells the kids on a bright Saturday morning. They instantly cheer. “Papa and I have work to do.”

They’re going to watch Netflix all day in their underwear, junk food stacked to the ceiling. Something they havent been able to do in months.

The first time they needed a babysitter, he was hestitant to leave the kids with Hange, given that she is…well, Hange.

But Levi had learned that she was the ideal supervisor. Not only is the time spent with her educational for the kids - given her insatiable curiosity for the world - she also proved to have a longer battery running time than Eren.

 _Eren_.

Eren who only falls asleep by accident. Eren who is currently licking the remnant milk from his cereal bowl like a cat as he hangs off the kitchen table, stubby legs dangling in the air.

At least he’s not a ‘lizard’ anymore, Levi consoles himself silently, flinching at war flashbacks of finding Eren eating dead flies from the dusty corners of their shed.

More than that, Hange loves the kids, is patient and considerate and incredibly intelligent. Hange knows why the sky is blue, gives them the exact scientific reason for it, has an answer for everything.

Hange brings herself to their level, playing and squealing with them in a way that Levi almost envies, in a manner he has never been able to, stuck as he is in his habits.

His rigid personality had softened considerably with the arrival of their kids, but it is still eroding, softly, slowly. They adopted a year ago, but he’s still learning how to be a father, how to be carefree and fun and not make himself into nothing but a set of rules so early on in his reign in parentdom.

He wants to be like Hange: fluid, spontaneous…creative. He worries sometimes, that is he limited. Deficient.

Hange arrives right on time - scatter brained but no less attentive. They’re going to the imax today for a documentary on beluga whales. The kids crowd around her, lunches packed in their little backpacks, eyes impossibly wide. Eren holds onto one of her sleeves, the other hand already fiddling at the lock of their front door, trying to get a headstart. Armin shows her his progress in the last picture book she bought for him. Mikasa holds onto her leg tentatively, gazing up at Levi with a wistful gaze, attached as she is to him.

“Thanks, four-eyes, really,” he sighs, “we appreciate it.”

“Sure thing, chicken!” She sings, placing a loud and exaggerated kiss onto his forehead. Theres a blotch of spittle left behind and the kids all grimace, laughing at her antics. She leaves with the promise of a sleep over, giving them the entire night to themselves.

He waves at them from the front door, humming when he feels Erwin’s arms wrap around his waist, forehead lowering to the nape of his neck.

“God bless that woman,” Erwin says, and Levi has to give an amen.


	64. Chapter 64

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked: Canonverse. What does the 104th think when they see Eruri together? Or the moments when the finally realise that mummy and daddy are, in fact, a couple. Or maybe eruri discussing the kids like an old couple... I just really like stuff where they're basically one, big, badass family, k?

“Levi said no,” Eren says with an indignant huff. “And he gave us all extra duties just for asking.”

They all collectively groan - Connie’s the loudest and most exaggerated - except for Jean, who only sighs. “You’re all giving up already? There’s another way.”

“And what’s that,” Eren grumbles, disturbed by the idea of Jean succeeding where he has failed.

“You ask the Commander, obviously,” he responds with a roll of his eyes. “If eyebrows says yes, it doesn’t matter what Captain Levi said. He’s outranked.”

Eren thinks it over, chewing on his lower lip. “But Captain Levi will know we asked him,“ he says.

“Oh…right,” Jean says, leaning forward on his elbows, “I forgot to mention this plan only works if you’re not a complete fucking sissy who is scared of their superior.”

“Why don’t  _you_  go ask him then!” Eren spits, brows coming together in agitation. Mikasa intervenes. 

“Maybe a couple of us should ask,” she says, voice soft yet wise. They all think it over.

“We should send Krista,” Sasha all but yells, “she’s the cutest and the Commander won’t be able to say no!”

“Reiner should do it, he won’t be intimidated!”

“Erwin likes Armin the most, send him!”

“Everyone shut the fuck up,” Jean yells, rubbing his temples. “You’re all useless. We have to send Eren, make him give a pity speech about how hard his titan training is on him, and then we send Armin to look all sad and innocent. Armin never asks for anything so that will help. I’ll go to make sure they don’t fuck up.”

***

“You want to take a whole day off training for a…birthday party, is that right?” Erwin repeats, fingers interlacing over his desk. He considers the three boys standing in front of him. “This is quite an impressive delegation, I must say.”

“E-Eren has been working very hard and deserves a break for his birthday,” Armin yells loudly, all but screaming the obviously practised words. So much for staying calm.

“We all do!” Eren yells too now, his face and hands clammy, “we all work too hard. We’re tired!” Erwin raises an eyebrow, mostly amused, and Jean buries his face into his hand because of course Eren cannot stick to his lines.

“Are we overworking you,” Erwin says, leaning back in his chair. “That is concerning. I’ll be sure to bring it up with Captain Levi.”

“No!” Eren yells, recoiling immediately, bringing a hand to his mouth.

“Commander,” Jean starts, rescues, “It seems they’re just a little embarrassed. We just feel that we could do with a day off to celebrate Eren’s birthday, since he deserves it.” He’s mostly thinking about the booze they’ll smuggle, but he’s surprised to find that he truly believes his words. “Just one day off training is all we ask.”

“I see,” Erwin hums, “well that sounds reasonable.”

Armin shoots Jean a hopeful look, and Eren brightens up considerably, his lips ready and protruding with ripe praises and thanks. 

“ - if Captain Levi approves, I have no problem.” He turns to shuffle his paperwork, oblivious to the awkward silence and panicked glances shared between them.

Jean loses his own smug smile. None of them saw this coming.

“T-the thing is…” Eren says, “we already asked him.”

“And?” Erwin asks.

“He said no,” Eren responds, averting his eyes as his face heats up.

“Well that is unfortunate,” Erwin says, propping up his chin on one hand. “I can’t very well allow you to go through with something the Captain has not allowed, can I?”

 _Yes,_  Jean wants to yell,  _yes you fucking can._ Instead he nods, obedient. _“_ Understood, Commander.” 

They waddle out of his office, sulking and defeated. They find Levi leaning against the wall outside his door.

“That’s just too bad, brats,” Levi smirks, triumphant. He grabs Eren by the collar and pushes him up against the wall. “Didn’t think you had it in you to go behind my back, Jaeger.” Eren whimpers under the intensity of his gaze.

“And don’t think I don’t know this was your idea, Kirstein,” he scolds over his shoulder. Jean psychologically prepares himself to receive toilet duty for a month.

Erwin appears at the door, considering the scene before him. “I have to admit, I admire their cunning,” he says, “perhaps we should reward them for bravery alone.”

Levi releases the front of Eren’s shirt, moving to stand next to him. “It’s your decision,” he says.

“Have your day off,” Erwin says, making back into his office. “But don’t make too much of a ruckus.” Levi follows him, slamming the door behind them.

They consider each other for a moment. Jean starts to make his way back to the barracks, smug smile returning full force. 

“Technically it was still my plan that worked,” he boasts, and Eren is too elated to argue.


	65. Chapter 65

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the latest interviews translated by yusenki made me want to write a thing, and I couldn’t resist. These gays are pulling me apart.

“How was your interview,” Erwin asks later that day as Levi pads into his office and drops down into a chair. He’s smiling like he knows something, making that face that both infuriates yet arouses him.

“Fucking boring,” he answers. “And what’s that face for.”

Erwin ignores the question. “Do you think it will help in improving the Scouting Legion’s reputation?”

Levi sighs through his nose. “I don’t know.” He crosses his arms and leans back in an attempt to appear nonchalant, but it doesn’t stop the blush he can already feel rising on his cheeks. “But I talked you up.”

“Yes, I know, I read the interview,” Erwin says, his smile stretching wide. Levi wonders how many hearts have fallen into the well of his dimples.  _He’s so beautiful…_

“I allowed the journalist to talk to you on the condition that I get to read over and approve the script before it’s published.” 

Of course he did.

 _“_ Yeah, well, we can’t have people think we’re lead by a lame, burnt-out Commander, or well lose their confidence. No one wants a second Shadis.” He’s not sure why he says it angrily, almost like he’s defending himself. Well, he knows why, but he hopes Erwin doesn’t.

Erwin just laughs. “Thank you, Levi,” he says, and his eyes are shining and Levi’s heart is inflating, “I appreciate it.”

“Don’t be dramatic,” he scoffs, even as he discretely wipes his sweaty palms on his uniform pants.

“You always take care of me -”

“Fucking hell Erwin -”

“Sorry,” Erwin chuckles again, putting his hand up in a conciliatory gesture. “I just like my soldiers to know i’m grateful.” There’s a quiet pause, his intense blues considering Levi cryptically before he continues. “Well…you’re more than a solider. You’re a friend - the best I have, actually. I suppose you already know that.”

Levi averts his eyes and blushes a little harder, even as a small wave of disappointment burns in his chest before settling into a familiar, bitter acceptance.  _I want…more…_

“Yeah…you’re a friend to me too,” he manages, and that wins him another dimpled smile. 


	66. Chapter 66

Erwin gazes at the empty chair across from him, losing count of his sighs. He’s just about to embark on a new round of self pity before he’s interrupted by the waiter, who taps at his notepad impatiently.

“Sorry,” Erwin says, fumbling with the menu. He looks at the drinks section, not really taking anything in. His mind is racing. “What do you recommend for someone who just got stood up?” he asks, because, well, he’s been here for an hour and he’s feeling sorry for himself. 

The waiter raises a thin, unimpressed brow. “I don’t know,” he says, “a hot chocolate or some shit.”

“Fine,” Erwin sighs, “i’ll take a hot chocolate or some shit.”

“I think I know why you got stood up…” the waiter mutters, and Erwin smiles, impressed with his sass. Impressed enough to read his name tag.  _Levi_.

Levi scribbles the order on his notepad before making his way back to the register. Erwin thinks it’s the last he’ll see of him, cataloguing the conversation as one of life’s many quirks, that is until he returns with his hot chocolate and a drink of his own. 

Erwin stares quizzically as Levi takes the seat across from him, dropping into the chair heavily with a loud  _thump_  and crossing his legs. He slurps lazily from a cup of juice, small mouth pinched tight around the tip of a straw. “I’m on break,” he explains in answer to Erwin’s silent question.

“So what’d you do,” Levi asks, casual, like he’s known Erwin forever. “To scare off your date, I mean.”

Erwin hums, eyes downcast, thinking. “I honestly can’t say.”

“Second date?” Levi asks, and Erwin nods.

“Probably the serial killer vibes,” he says offhandedly, and Erwin almost chokes on his hot chocolate.

“Excuse me?” he demands.

“You’re creepy in that ‘i’m too perfect to be real so there must be something  _very_  wrong about me’ kind of way,” Levi shrugs.

“So your logical conclusion, then, is that I hack bodies apart into little cubes or something along those lines?”

Levi shrugs again, sipping from his drink. “That’s oddly specific,” he then says, leaning forward conspiratorially. “It’s the kind of detail only a serial killer would give.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” Erwin frowns. And then Levi laughs - an unexpected break from the waiter’s stoicism.

“Yeah yeah,” he says, taking a final slurp from his drink before standing up. Erwin begins to think Levi used him for break-time entertainment. “Gotta go.”

Erwin sighs at the pitiful day he’s had. Levi scribbles something on his pad before ripping the page out and sliding it over to him. It’s a note. S _top looking so fucking sad,_ it reads.  _You’re serial-sly killing me._

“Those are terrible puns,” Erwin says, suppressing a laugh.

“You look like you enjoy dad jokes,” Levi defends, “how old are you anyway, fifty?”

“How do you still have a job,” Erwin responds with a shake of his head, because he can’t imagine that every customer is as accommodating as he is. “I’m thirty,” he says, because for some reason he wants Levi to know.

“Well, do you want another hot chocolate, old man?” Levi smirks, and Erwin blinks, struggling to decide whether this counts as flirting. He’s seriously out of touch.

“Please,” he nods, watching as Levi walks away to get his order. 

He thinks that maybe things aren’t so bad.


	67. Chapter 67

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked: I kind of need a fic where Levi is having a really bad headache and Erwin comforts him by peppering him with kisses to make him feel better basically lots of fluff pleasee

Levi all but drags himself into Erwin’s office, looking like semi-dead road kill, twitching and jittering as he pads over to his desk. The man’s half extinct. Erwin can tell from the very set of his frown lines that he has a severe migraine - he gets them a lot. He instinctively opens his arms and Levi flops uselessly into them, face finding its nest in Erwin’s neck.

“I told you to stop training so hard,” Erwin scolds lightly, a strong arm wrapping around his frame and tucking him closer to his chest. One hand travels up to cradle his head, massaging his scalp lightly through the black silk strands of his hair. Levi hums weakly, heavy lids sinking even lower in relief and delight. He’s likely to fall asleep like this.

This close, Erwin can see the rivers of minute blue veins in his eyelids, the little network of wrinkles around his brows, the plush pink pillows of his lips. He finds himself thinking, not for the first time and not for the last, that Levi is pieced together so beautifully. He can’t help the soft kisses he plants all over his face, the only outlet for the adoration that swells violently in his chest and overwhelms him. He kisses him everywhere: forehead, cheeks, neck, ears, a wet smack to each eyelid. Levi closes his eyes at the affection, body relaxing completely in his embrace.

“Don’t stop,” Levi orders, taking Erwin’s other hand and bringing it to his head also. Erwin indulges him, uses nimble fingers to massage and scratch his scalp, kneading the headache away. Eventually he lets his forehead rest on Levi’s, fingers still working, not daring to stop. They know well the consequences of ceasing their action before their time.

“Fuck,” Levi breathes, “feels so good baby.” His voice is low and whispered. He always gets affectionate when sleepy. It’s endearing.

“You like the head scratchies, hm?” Erwin teases, but Levi is too far gone to take the bait. He just nods instead, falling limp in Erwin’s arms. Erwin places him on the sofa in his office, tucks him in using the blanket he keeps there especially for him.


	68. Chapter 68

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked: Imagine Erwin as a baker and Levi comes in every morning for a blueberry muffin but will not talk to him as he is not a morning person and so grunts each day until Erwin expects him and immediately hands one to Levi, and then one day gives his number

It’s not unusual to get regulars. It’s not unusual to get customers who hate mornings, either. It is unusual to serve a scowling ball of a man who never vocalises anything beyond a grunt. Erwin’s pretty sure this bizarre specimen runs on pure, unadulterated anger alone.

He comes in every day at the same time: 6:55am,  _precisely_. He orders a blueberry muffin. He doesn’t say it, just points to it. Erwin made the mistake of asking him if he wanted coffee with it, once. The glare he received put the fear of God of him.

“Not a morning person, heh?” Erwin mused, and the man had simply clicked his tongue at him.

Eventually he learns the order, not that there’s much to learn. He grows fond of this man as the days extend into weeks, weeks into months. He likes the way his lips purse when he waits in line, the way he crosses his arms angrily and looks half asleep, the way his lids drag heavy over his eyes. He likes that ‘fatigued-going-on-extinct’ look he has about him. It makes him want to coddle him, maybe pet his head and wrap him in a blanket. 

He’s a little gay. 

“We’ve run out of blueberry muffins,” Erwin dares to inform one day as soon as he steps up to the bakery counter. The man closes his eyes and sighs, a long, drawn out sigh that says  _why me_ ,  _why God,_  like this is the worst fate that could have befallen him. As if he hasn’t had two full months of un-interrupted blueberry muffin flow.

“We have other flavours,” Erwin adds quickly, because he doesn’t want him to leave so soon. “We have banana, raspberry, choc-chip, and almond”. He picks them up and shows them to him as he juggles them around. The man points to one in the pile and Erwin can’t tell which it is he wants.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that.” he says. “Which did you want?” 

“Chocolate,” the man grumbles, and Erwin smiles slightly at the frown he gives.

“Good choice,” Erwin comments, “this one is a best seller, but it tastes even better heated. Would you like me to heat it for you?”

He shakes his head in a firm ‘no’, but Erwin wants to torture him. “Why not? It’s really good,” he promises. “Are you sure you don’t want a coffee to offset the sweetness? They’re a great combo.”

And then, miraculously, it speaks.

“You…talk too fucking much,” the man says, voice low and pained as he rubs his temples, “too many words,” he adds. “too early…why.” He scowls deep and even his teeth look a little sharp as he grits them together. He reminds Erwin of a Chain Chomp from Super Mario.

“I’m just trying to wake you up,” Erwin defends, smiling but wondering if he’s gone too far. Will he come back tomorrow?

“Don’t,” is all he says. Erwin heats his muffin for him anyway and gives him a coffee on the house. Except this time he writes his number on a piece of paper and slips it into the takeaway bag. He figures they’ve made progress enough.

The man leaves without so much as a thank you and that, for some reason, makes Erwin even more keen on him. He keeps his phone on him all day, hyper alert and a little mopey when night comes around and he still hasn’t received a message. 

His phone beeps at 11pm, a text message from an unknown number.

 _i don’t do overly happy morning people,_ it says, and Erwin’s grin shines brighter than his phone screen.

 _I’ll give you free blueberry muffins_ , he types out playfully, quick and confident. His palms sweat as he waits for a reply.

 _but u talk a lot,_ is all it says. 

_and if i promised never to speak to you before midday?_

_wow and desperate too,_ he replies, and Erwin gets a little nervous. He can’t read him through text - is it a joke? Either way, he’s never been one to cower. Why would he have bothered to text him if he weren’t at least a little interested?

_maybe, but you’re lovely to look at and I want to take you out. there’s nothing shameful about that. how does Friday at 6 sound?_

It’s an hour before he replies, an hour spent moping about his bedroom resigned to fact that he won’t ever reply, won’t ever see him again, won’t ever get to stroke his cheek and brush his hair out of his face or kiss the violet bags of his eyes.

 _bring a muffin with you_  is the man’s reply, along with his address.

Erwin is so elated he forgets to ask his name.


	69. Chapter 69

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> for misaya

Erwin watches as Levi skitters about in the kitchen, bending here, stretching there, cocking one of her curved hips every now and then. There’s something about the way Levi moves that is positively sinful. He can’t look away.

The tv drawls on; he’s supposedly catching up with the evening news but the only broadcast he’s hearing is the call of Levi’s fine ass. He’s half hard just from watching her clean the fridge.

“Why don’t you turn that shit off and come do something useful,” Levi says as she bends over to stick her head back in the fridge, ass stuck out like a juicy offering. Her shirt rides up and he glimpses the pale skin of her stomach and back. He wonders how she would react if he were to mount her then and there, god knows he wants to. “I’ve told you three times to vacuum that fucking carpet.”

“It’s Sunday,” he whines, debauched pupils following the jiggle of her ass and thighs as she scrubs the back of the fridge violently. “Plus i’m enjoying the show,” he adds, voice low and sultry. He smirks when she pops her head out of the fridge and eyes him suspiciously.

“I think you should get up,” she warns. She eyes the junk food littered about him on the couch, lips pressed into a thin line. “And I think you better have all that cleaned up by the time I turn around.” He can see the hint of her nipples through thethin singlet she wears, the fabric hugging her small waist. He feels his length give an interested twitch as he thinks about biting down on one of those rosy buds, making her gasp as he runs his palm over her smooth abdomen, down, down,  _down_ until she’s wet and trembling.

He palms himself through his track pants instead, feeling playful. “Well I think you should come sit on my cock,” he offers insolently.

“Oh?” Levi raises a brow, considering him for a second. It’s long enough for Erwin to notice the flash of interest in her eyes, the challenge. Erwin’s rarely this crude, this primal, and now she wants to play too. “Good joke,” she scoffs, turning around. She puts their food products back in the fridge before moving to the sink to scrub at some dishes. “Keep it in your pants you horn-dog.”

Erwin’s up before he can even register it.

He towers over her, bringing his arms around her waist and pulling her flush against him so she can feel his hardness against the small of her back. “I think I want to fuck you right here,” he growls.

“You’re an animal,” she retorts, feigning nonchalance even as her grip on the dishes becomes less focused.

“It’s okay,” Erwin coos in faux-comfort, “you do what you need to do while I get you ready.” She doesn’t get to protest before Erwin’s fingers are grabbing greedily at the front of her pants, hand moving underneath the material of her underwear to slide down to her cunt.

She gasps when he rubs over her clit softly with his thumb, his middle and index fingers dancing along the skirt of her lips, light and teasing to get her going. “You’re not nearly wet enough for me,” he comments, pressing a small kiss to her shoulder blade before carefully plunging his fingers inside her.

“ _Erwin_ …” she breathes, a shudder rippling throughout her body. Erwin bites down on her shoulder roughly, arm around her waist tightening its hold as she arches into him. He strokes along her velvet insides, a task which becomes much easier once he feels her getting more and more slick. “That’s it baby,” he purrs, “get wet for my cock because I’ve almost reached my limit.” He grinds against her for emphasis, forcing her to clutch onto the edge of the counter.

He pulls his fingers out to stroke along her clit some more, sending her into a frenzy, holding her against him whilst she bucks, simultaneously trying to escape yet chase the pleasure.

“Oh, fuck,” she sighs. The sound is so sweet it makes his cock throb. He kisses along her neck, wet and messy as his fingers continue their torture.

“Kiss me,” Levi demands, turning her head to look him in the eyes. Her face is flushed, pupils blown wide, chest heaving slightly. She gets hold of Erwin’s face and crashes her lips into his, biting and licking at him roughly. He bites her lower lip, moves his free hand up under her singlet and pinches one of her nipples, making her moan into his mouth.

“You’re ready,” he decides, withdrawing his fingers. She makes to turn around and he stills her with a hand on her hip. “Stay,” he orders, pulling her away from the sink and bending her over a bit more.

He pulls himself out of his pants before sliding her own down, underwear included, no grace or dignity in the act. He reaches down and palms her a bit more, catching some of her fluid in his hand before applying it to his own leaking cock.

“You’re so weird,” Levi says over her shoulder, observing him with wide eyes. Erwin grips her face and turns it back around roughly.

“I didn’t say you could talk.” He gives his length a few more strokes before lining up, pleased with the anticipatory whimpers Levi gives at the feeling of his cock nudging against her.

He enters her slowly - small as she is – his grip tight on her hips as she squeezes her eyes shut and arches, head dropping between outstretched arms. The pulsing heat around his cock drives him mad with arousal, all senses focused on the feeling of her silky walls around him, sucking him in as he bottoms out. Just the sight of his hips flush against her almost has him coming.

He begins to move, dragging his cock in and out, revelling in the wetness and the warmth. He closes his eyes and throws his head back as he sighs, moving faster now, huge cock splitting her wide as he has his way with her. “I’m going to fuck you so hard you can never do the dishes again without getting a wet cunt,” he grits, feeling Levi squeeze around him.

“Shit, Erwin -  _ah”_

He thrusts particularly hard, and the debauched moan that Levi releases has him spilling inside her, his orgasm robbed early from him.

“Fuck!” he spits, angry even as waves of pleasure sweep over him, skin prickling with euphoria. He had wanted to drag it out, to prolong it and drive her crazy – give it to her good.

Levi puts her hand over the one Erwin’s has on her hip, caressing it softly. “It’s okay baby,” she says. Erwin presses a kiss to her nape.

He pulls out, uncaring of the cum that dribbles out and onto the underwear still pooled around Levi’s feet – although she’ll surely complain about it later. He brings a hand around and rubs at her clit again, fingers working her cunt skillfully until she’s arching and moaning and trembling, brought to the cusp of orgasm. He licks and kisses along her neck, tongue and teeth skittering over the sensitive areas he has learnt to target and abuse.

“Would you like me to eat you out?” he asks bluntly, far less seductive and sultry now that his own release has come and gone.

“Nah,” she answers, “I’m close, just keep ­–  _fuck –_  yeah, like that,” she sighs. Erwin rubs at her with more vigour, fingers chasing her sighs and moans until she doubles over in pleasure, her own orgasm rendering her a trembling mess in Erwin’s arms.

They collapse on the kitchen floor, Erwin pressing kisses to her sweaty forehead. “It went too quickly,” he complains. “I’m not satisfied.” Levi clicks her tongue, head rolling onto his shoulder.

“Give me twenty minutes and I can probably go again,” she responds. “I gotta clean this floor anyway.”


	70. Chapter 70

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: Erwin week day 1 prompt, erwin's inner monologue about his eyebrow or his pretty face or just erwin admiring himself in not so dignified way

After styling his hair to perfection, he inspects his reflection in the mirror.

Each strand has been combed into obedience, locked in place with some pomade. He looks for any wayward hairs, for any gold-lined dissenters daring to glimmer in the sunlight even as the threat of his comb looms close in his palm. There are none. He can’t have it any other way; he needs to look good.

And he  _does_  look good, he decides, so good even he can’t deny it.  _You’re quite the sight to behold, Smith…_

He brings a hand up to a sharp cheekbone, fingers skittering reverently over the flesh. It’s not often that he admires himself, he never has the time nor does he care to. It’s ironic, he thinks, that the very quality he values so little is often a large factor to his success. How many sponsors had he secured because of his dazzling smile? How many times had his eyes charmed people into treachery for information? How many rivals had he smooth-talked into submission, armed with good looks alone? 

He had learnt early on that people value beautiful things, that _beautiful people_  are cherished and adored. 

More importantly, they’re listened to.

Of course, he also quickly learnt that his looks were an asset, another tool to get to where he needed to be. People can rarely say no to him, not when they see that flash of disappointment in his eyes, as though his judgement wrought their judgment day.  _Except Nile,_  he muses,  _Nile does seem to be immune…i’ll have to work on that. Well, there was Shadis, too…_

And so he picks up his tweezers, attention turned to his eyebrows now. Hell to Nile and Shadis, they’re nothing to him, not when he walks into a full room and renders the men hard and the women wet from a dimpled smile alone. He smirks at the image, eyes fluttering down to his own mouth. _You have such kissable lips_  a lover had once told him in between raunchy bites and breathy sucks to his mouth. A few years later, he can’t say much has changed. 

He grooms his eyebrows, leaning back from the mirror to take in his entire face, the majestic curve of his nose, the rough, chiseled bone of his jaw, the intoxicating blue of his eyes.  _It really is no wonder that the sexually destitute women of the Capital lust over me…_

He fixes his hair one more time, smoothes out his eyebrows with the meticulous care of one sharpening a weapon. He looks crisp, confident. He smiles at his reflection.

He looks like a Commander.


	71. Chapter 71

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin Week Day Four: Sacrifice/Loss  
> In which Erwin won’t allow himself to be in a relationship with Levi until the war is over.

“Kiss me,” Levi breathes into his neck one day.

“It’s not a good time,” Erwin says, pushing him away.

“Later?”

“Later,” Erwin promises.

* * *

“Kiss me,” Levi whines. 

“Levi…” Erwin begins, a quiet scolding. His quill scratches away. 

“I know,” Levi says, “you can’t.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” Levi says, and slams the door behind him.

* * *

“Kiss me,” Levi begs, fingers skittering over the stub of Erwin’s right arm.

“It’s not a good idea,” Erwin croaks from his bed, his forehead damp with sweat.

“But soon?” Levi asks.

“Soon,” Erwin vows.

* * *

“Kiss me?” Levi asks, cornering Erwin in an empty hallway.

Erwin puts a hand on the nape of his neck, stroking it softly. “After,” he whispers.

Levi closes his eyes at the touch. “After,” he agrees.

* * *

“Kiss me,” Levi demands, holding onto Erwin’s face and gripping his cheeks tightly.

Erwin doesn’t budge and so he kisses him anyway. His lips are cold, unmoving. 

“Kiss me properly you bastard,” he spits, but his voice breaks half way. “You said,” he sobs.

“You said you would kiss me when we won.


	72. Chapter 72

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous  
> Can l get knight! Levi/king! Erwin in a very homophobic setting so their affair is extremely hush-hush and angsty?

He takes a swig from his beer, watching bitterly as the King banters with the gaggle of advisors flocking around him.

“When are you going to abandon this modest lifestyle of yours, my King?” one of them asks as Erwin refuses yet another drink. “No one would dare to think less of you,” the man promises.

“I still have work to do,” the King explains sternly, unimpressed and annoyed at the persistence. The man shrinks back with his mug, ashamed.

If only they knew the real reason he refuses drink, Levi thinks, taking another angry swig.

Mike laughs, patting Erwin on the back. Mike’s probably the only person who can get away with touching him. “Loosen up. What you need is a good woman.” He leans over conspiratorially, whispering something in Erwin’s ear with a salacious smirk. Erwin offers his ear, his eyes darting to a corner of the atrium away from the crowds and the servants. Levi follows his gaze, all the way to where a young maiden flutters around. She’s beautiful.

Mike says something and Erwin smirks and nods, apparently agreeing. Levi narrows his eyes, grips the handle of his mug tighter. Anger simmers within, unrestrained jealously threatening to spill.

He tries to catch Erwin’s eyes but he won’t look at him. He hasn’t looked at him all night. He orders another drink, and then another, and then one more.

He doesn’t want to talk to anyone here, doesn’t want to socialise, hates these fucking banquets. People approach him from all angles, the kingdom’s esteemed knight, the King’s dog, here in all his metal-coated glory. He ignores them all, scowling at anyone who comes close. He feels hot and suffocated in his chain mail, their weight contributing to his fatigue and agitation. Will Erwin bed that girl tonight?

He’s hiccuping well into his fifth drink when he feels a large hand clamp down on his shoulder. It’s Mike. 

“King wants to see you,” he sniffs before moving on. Levi feels his heart pump a little faster as he stands up and moves to sit on the chair next to the King’s, the one Mike was just in. There are still people around, a disappointing fact that can’t be helped.

“Levi,” Erwin nods once he sits down. He’s so different like this, so cold. “I see you have been drinking.” He can tell from his tone that he’s angry.

“I’m not drunk,” Levi defends. Erwin looks so good like this, in his royal clothes, his crown bringing out the colour of his eyes. He wants to run a hand over his chest, feel its firmness under the silk of his top.

He still prefers him naked.

“We agreed not to drink,” Erwin says, voice low. “What if you slip.”

“I won’t,” Levi says, a little nervous because he doesn’t like it when Erwin scolds him. 

Erwin leans in slightly. “You’re looking at me too much,” he whispers angrily. “You need to control yourself in public.” So that’s the reason he called him over.

Levi swallows, shame colouring his cheeks. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I can’t help it.”

“Learn to,” Erwin growls, “you’re being far too obvious. You’ll arouse suspicion.”

Levi doesn’t say anything, and so they sit there together, eyes scanning the crowds. “I’m heading off to sleep soon,” he says, knowing Erwin will get the hint.

Erwin is silent for a while before answering. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he decides. “I need to keep up appearances.” His eyes flicker over to the maiden from before, the girl blissfully unaware of the turn her night will take.

Levi swallows down bile, a wave of nausea and jealousy hitting him in the gut. He stands up, knowing he can’t argue it, not here, probably not behind closed doors either.

He bows before turning around, about to leave when Erwin catches his wrist and pulls him back down softly. “You know I love you, don’t you?” he whispers, his face stern. No one would be able to guess what he’s taking about.

“I know,” Levi tries to say confidently, but his voice comes out small and choked.

“You know why I have to do this,” he says, and Levi nods, because he does, he does know. He knows their relationship is safer when Erwin beds other women, when he deflects curious eyes and barbed tongues away from his unmarried status, away from the fact that he seems to spend far too much time with a certain knight. 

There have been too many rumours and they’ve only just managed to survive them.

“I know,” Levi says again. He wants nothing more than to kiss him, to hold him and share his bed. He has to remind himself that he decided a long time ago that just getting to be with Erwin is enough, that he could accept their reality and be grateful. It doesn’t ever get easier.

“I’m sorry,” Erwin says, sensing Levi’s hurt. 

“I know.”


	73. Chapter 73

“Hopeless,” Levi sighs, dropping their grocery bags near the door, observing the sight before him. Erwin has made a makeshift mattress on the floor using pillows and blankets. Eren has mummified himself in one of them, supposedly hiding. Jurassic park is playing on the tv. “He’s too young for that movie. He’s not allowed to watch that.”

“No im not!” Eren whines, his little head popping out of a blanket. The quickest way to flush Eren out of a ‘hiding spot’ is to deny him something he wants.

Erwin rolls on top of Eren playfully, careful not to press is full weight on him. “Eren’s not here, papa,” he says to Levi. “I dont know what youre talking about.” Eren gasps, remembering himself, and then hides back under the blanket.

Levi can’t help but laugh, making his way over to the blankets and tickling Eren’s sides. “No baby this is a movie for grown ups. You’ll get bad dreams.”

“But I wanna see the dinosaurs,” Eren sobs. He grabs his toy brontosaurus by the neck, squeezing it roughly, a telltale sign of a pending tantrum. “Dad said I could.” Erwin atleast looks a little guilty.

“I couldnt deny him,” he admits. “He used his eyes on me.” This man, honestly.

“Plus, he’s four now, Levi. He’s not a little kid anymore,” he grins. Eren rolls over, face to face with Erwin now. He brings his small, stubby hands up to Erwin’s face and pulls at his cheeks, and then at his ears. “Yeah papa!” he cheers. Erwin kisses his little fingers as they pass over his face.

“Fine,” Levi groans, collapsing into the blankets. It’s actually really comfortable. “Don’t think we’re going to be able to fuck for the next few nights from the amount of nightmares he’s going to get,” he whispers into Erwin’s ear. Erwin looks like he’s made a grave mistake.

They cuddle under the blankets, legs thrown over each other, Eren gripping onto his dad’s forearms every now and then. He starts crying when the t-rex breaks down the fence and that’s the movie cut short.

He sleeps inbetween them that night, taking up half the bed. “Youre so far away,” Erwin whines, scooting closer to run a hand through Levi’s hair and then down his neck. Levi shudders at the touch, but cant help the I told you so.

“Hell no, I told you this would happen.”

“We could go to the couch,” Erwin smiles, and for a second Levi is tempted.

Tempted until he smells something off.

“Sorry papa,” Eren says, waking and rubbing at his eyes. “I didnt make it in time.” Erwin laughs at how proud he looks to be sitting in a puddle of his own urine, laughs at Levi’s horrified expression.

“Everyone get out of the bed!” He barks.


	74. Chapter 74

They don’t fuck. Not really. Not when Erwin can’t get hard half the time and is too tired for it when he can. Erwin’s mind is always beyond the walls, lingering out there with the maps and the screams and the orders to fall back. He does his part every now and then, tries to get Erwin to focus, back in the moment where he strokes his cock - long and firm - or ruts against him greedily. It got worse after Erwin lost an arm, but it’s fine, he’s got enough to worry about.

Erwin’s sex-drive has been shot, and he’s accepted that - he loves him no less for it. 

Levi wonders how much of it is due to internalised trauma, and how much of it is because of guilt. Erwin rarely initiaties, rarely responds to intimate touch. 

So that’s why, when Erwin runs his hand over his stomach and whispers ‘ _want to fool around?’_ one day _,_ he can’t help but snort “what’s the occasion?”

He knows it’s a mistake as soon as the words leave his mouth, as soon as he sees the hurt and shame flicker in Erwin’s eyes as he seems to shrink into himself. He’s never had much of a filter, and he hates himself for it now more than ever.

“Hey - shit, sorry,“ he bumbles, taking Erwin’s hand and putting it back on his stomach. “I didn’t mean…forget I said that.”

“It’s fine,” Erwin says, moving his hand up to brush through Levi’s hair. “It’s no secret that i’m not very…sexually available.” He grimaces at the awkward wording, and then he’s silent for a few minutes. “I’ve been thinking that you -”

“Just stop whatever you’re about to say,” Levi interrupts. “I know it’s going to be fucking stupid so don’t even bother.”

Erwin takes his hand out of Levi’s hair and falls back onto the pillows behind him. “I worry i’m not enough for you, Levi,” he sighs. He looks strangely relieved, smiling sadly now like the admission has taken a huge weight off of his shoulders. “You deserve to be loved properly…”

He hates it when Erwin gets like this; seeing him broken down and vulnerable makes his heart ache, makes a deep sadness settle in his chest. He still doesn’t know how to deal with it. “I thought I told you to stop talking,” he scowls, but his tone is softer than before. He wraps himself around Erwin’s body, needing to be as close as possible.

“Levi - “  
  
“Shut up.”

“But - ”

“Don’t.”  
  
Erwin chuckles lightly in defeat, shifting to wrap his arm around Levi’s middle. “Thank you,” he whispers into his hair, and Levi buries his face deeper into Erwin’s chest. He will never let Erwin say goodbye.

“Sure,” he says, swallowing hard and blinking back the moisture in his eyes.


	75. Chapter 75

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tashacho asked:  
> our dear, beautiful commander has a crippling caffeine addiction.

“Bloody walls Erwin, how long have you been in there?” Levi snaps as he kicks at the door of the private bathroom in Erwin’s quarters.

“A while…” Erwin admits, voice a little muffled from behind the wood. He gazes down at where his uniform pants pool around his ankles.  _I really should cut back on the coffee…_

“I’m throwing out the coffee,” Levi announces, as though reading his mind. “You have a fucking problem.”

“No!” he yells, making to get up before he realises that, yes, he is in the middle of defecating. “Don’t, Levi,” he says, because he knows he’ll actually do it.

“I’m gonna give it to my squad,” Levi hums, “you’re addicted.”

“I need it to work,” Erwin argues, starting to feel ridiculous arguing with Levi like this, with his prickly bare thighs exposed and his ass threatening to act on his stomach’s grumbles once more. “Can I have some privacy?” 

“How many coffees did you drink today,” Levi asks insolently, and Erwin hears him rest his back against the door. “Just tell me and i’ll leave.”

“Five,” he lies, and he hears Levi exhale ‘ _what an idiot’._

 _“_ Right, that’s why there’s at least eight cups on your desk.”

“Levi, can we talk about this another time?,” Erwin grunts, wrapping his arms around his stomach and whimpering slightly as his bowels twist and turn.

“Fine,” Levi huffs.

“Thank you. And if you throw out my coffee i’m taking out your tea from our expenditures.” He knows Levi too well.

“Bastard,” Levi spits.

When he finally gets off the toilet and emerges into the real world again, he’s glad to find his coffee collection remains where he left it. His dirty cups, however, are gone.


	76. Chapter 76

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ??

Erwin Smith is that man everyone’s heard of at least once, the man that everyone seems to have a wild theory about. Levi had heard of him, of course, long before he joined the Survey Corps, long before he had his faced pushed into mud and filth in the street.

 _He’s a snake_ , one of Lobov’s men had told him.  _He’ll dance for you and bite you when you least expect it._

 _He fucks noblewomen for information,_ said another contact.  _Men, too, he’ll do whatever he has to._

Some critics had been less severe. 

_His intentions are noble but his methods are unorthodox._

_Trust me. If he says he’s not up to anything, he’s five steps ahead with three back up plans to boot._

He didn’t believe any of that shit when he joined the Corps, not really. People were stupid in general, had a tendency to eat up everything they heard and blow it out of proportion. Just how astute could one man be? Well, he’d learn. 

He’d learn that nothing he heard was particularly false. 

One remark had stuck out above all, uttered one night in a dingy bar.  _Erwin Smith…_ the man had exhaled, taking a swig from his beer.  _I have no idea how to feel about Erwin Smith._ That had been in his first year of the Corps, when he was still sniffing around for weak spots.

Even now, years later, and as Erwin’s right hand man no less, he can’t help but recall the remark. Because it was in moments like this that he wondered how he really felt about Erwin Smith.

“You have a plan,” Levi says, thin-lipped. “And it’s fucked up.”

Erwin hunches over his desk some more, running a hand through his hair - a telltale sign of guilt. “It’s a little messed up, yes.”

The Corps, yet again, is on the brink of collapse. The last expedition yielded disastrous results. All their sponsors pulled out, and the Council is discussing disbanding them once more, not wanting to spend any ‘tax payer money’ on their expeditions. What little funds they have now are due to Erwin’s meticulous financial planning and frugal expenditures all year round. It’s enough to last them a month or two at best. Still, Levi can’t see a way out of this.

“Shit,” he exhales. “We’re done for, aren’t we. This is really it.” Things have never been this bad before. Unless they can come up with the money to support themselves, to bring back enough positive results to win back the confidence of their sponsors, they can’t function.

“There is a way…but it’s not ethical.” He hates it when Erwin gets vague and cryptic, which is most of the time.

Levi gestures for him to go on.

“A few expeditions ago, we found a…resource, out beyond the walls.” 

“Fucking hell, just spit it out Erwin.” 

“A plant, something that Mike sniffed out. Hanji experimented with it, and found it to be an addictive substance; it could be smoked much like a cigar. It’s effects were…remarkable to say the least.”

Levi narrows his eyes suspiciously.

“I ordered them to collect some of it, just incase.”

“Just in case what,” Levi asks.

“Well…” Erwin hesitates, “incase we found ourselves in a situation like this.” He taps his quill on his desk absentmindedly, droplets of ink staining the wood.

“I don’t understand,” Levi says, a scowl spreading across his face.

“I intend to sell it,” Erwin says confidently. And then adds, “to the nobles, for a very high price. We get them addicted to it so that they keep coming back for more, and eventually they become dependent on us. They’re indulgent enough to always want more.”

Levi licks his lips nervously, standing up from the edge of the desk where he was sitting. “I don’t like this Erwin, not one fucking bit.” There are so many ways in which it could backfire.

Erwin seems to read his mind. “I’ve already considered all the potential consequences,” he says, threading his hands together and staring off into a distant spot on the wall. “If we’re careful, we can manage.”

“Have you considered what could happen if the fucking higher-ups get addicted, Erwin?” Levi asks incredulously. “The last thing we need is for the King to be ordering us to go beyond the walls to get more, forcing the Survey Corps to sacrifice more men for their greedy fucking asses! Like we haven’t wasted enough lives retrieving bullshit resources for the Crown!”

“Levi, relax,” Erwin coos softly. “They won’t know it’s coming from us, we’ll use undercover dealers to sell it to them, no mention of the Corps at all.”

“There’s nothing like that in the walls, they’ll figure it out.”

“By the time they do, we would have enough money to kick-start things again…and we’ll figure something out.” Erwin seems confident but even Levi can’t tell how much trust he has in this plan.

“Even then,” he continues, “do you think they’re just going to eat it up? Those fat asses will try to sell it to the people in the underground for a higher price, to make even more money off the scum who don’t know any better. Don’t think it wont trickle down Erwin, if anyone’s going to get addicted, it’s them, and then they’ll be even worse off - getting in debt, getting sick, being criminalised for -”

Erwin puts a hand up to silence him. “We control the resources, so we control how much people could have to sell. We will sell it slowly and carefully, in small amounts. We’ll make sure there’s no chance for them to accumulate any excess and take advantage of the lower classes.” He smiles at Levi, a pleading sort of twitch of the lips. “I’ve already considered this.”

“I still don’t like it,” Levi says, crossing his arms insolently. 

“With any luck, if the entire elite class get addicted, they’ll be like clay in our hands. They’ll be too stupefied to know what’s going on…too dazed for politics…they won’t interfere in what we do. Just imagine Levi…the council members too drugged to fight against us.” Erwin smiles wistfully, and it unsettles Levi to the core.

“Fucking Sina,” Levi exhales. “Erwin those people may be greedy and cruel, but even they have fucking kids…they have lives.”

“Yes, I know” Erwin concedes sadly, straightening some papers on his desk. “But what about future lives, what the children of the future? Don’t they deserve a chance? Think of the end goal.”

Levi sighs, because it  _always_  comes back to this. They’re silent for a few minutes, Erwin considering Levi closely, Levi catapulted into an existential crisis, questioning and assessing the limits and boundaries of his own ‘morals’. He almost scoffs at the word. 

“I don’t know how to feel about you sometimes, Erwin Smith,” he says.

Erwin smiles, always recognising victory when he sees it. “Thank you for your support, captain.”


	77. Chapter 77

[[[bc i’ve been staring at [this art](http://insert-lame-username91.tumblr.com/post/125776342059/one-of-the-best-ways-to-get-woken-up-to-artist) for 1000 years and  **needed**  to write an eruri version. I hope the original artist doesn’t come for me with an axe - pls have mercy on my thirst]]]

He’s somewhat conscious when he feels Erwin roll on top of him, strong arms circling around his waist. He hums a little, pleased with how cozy and warm he feels with Erwin’s chest pressed against his back. He drifts off to sleep.

Well, at least he would have, had he not felt a large palm travelling down to his crotch. “Th-fuck Erwin,” he rasps, “what are you-”

Erwin kisses his neck lazily, his hand fondling Levi’s cock and balls through his briefs. He moans into his pillow. 

“I’ll be quick,” Erwin says, and he can feel how rock hard he is against his thigh. His voice is hoarse and so Levi knows he hasn’t been awake for long. Horny bastard. 

“I’m sleeping…” Levi whines, and Erwin kisses the nape of his neck before tilting Levi’s head up for a messy kiss, tongues rolling slowly together, warm puffs of air hitting each other’s faces. He’s hard now, too.

“I know baby, you don’t have to wake up,” Erwin whispers, pushing Levi onto his stomach softly. Even though he’s half asleep he perks his ass up, shuddering as Erwin pulls his briefs down and traces the pad of his index finger over his hole.

“You’re still open,” Erwin breathes, dipping a finger in, “still wet. That’s good baby, that’s very good.” Erwin shifts away for a second, squirting some lube from the tube on the nightstand onto his fingers. He slicks himself up quickly before positioning himself behind him again. His movements and speech are so slow that Levi questions whether he’s more asleep than awake.

He slides into Levi with a grunt, all but mounting him as Levi fists his hands into the pillows, mouth dropping open when he feels Erwin’s hips flush against his ass. Erwin plasters himself to Levi’s back, kissing and nibbling at the side of Levi’s face as he rolls his hips languidly. It’s  _so_   _fucking good._

Levi barely moves, pliant and passive as he lets Erwin have his way with him, allows him to roll his hips into him tortuously slow. He’s pushed up the bed slightly as Erwin’s thrusts become deeper, harder. He can feel his breath against his neck. “ _Fuck_  Levi,” Erwin grits, “your ass…wanna be buried in it forever.”

Levi moans into the pillow, drool starting to trickle down the side of his mouth as Erwin fucks him even harder. He’s not sure if his sleep-addled brain is making the sex feel more phenomenal than it usually is but  _holy shit_  it hasn’t felt this good in a while. Erwin presses frenzied kisses to his neck and face, biting at his ear like he can’t get enough of him. One hard hit to his prostate has Levi coming untouched into their sheets, shivering out his orgasm, clenching around Erwin’s cock.

“ _Shit,”_ Erwin sighs, hands gripping Levi’s waist as he shoots his own load deep in his ass. “ _f-fuck,_ love you, Levi, _God,_ i love you so much.”

Levi reaches a hand back and runs it through Erwin’s hair when he collapses on top of him, fingers brushing through it lazily. “Love you too,” he sighs, and Erwin nuzzles into his neck in response.

“Erwin.”

“Hmm?”

 “You’re still in me.”

“I’m not finished with you yet, baby.”


	78. Chapter 78

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> commandertittysprinkles: I want a ova of Erwin and levi just in the general bath with all the other cadets being freaking awkward as hell. While the girls are hearing the screaming of the guys of the pure awkwardness.
> 
> @animeismylifestyle said: Please write this holy shit

“You can’t just  _feed_  people in the underground titan meat Connie you fucking  _idio_ -”

“Morning, cadets.”

He stops his quarrel with Connie to glance to his right, just in time to see the commander slide into the bath right next to him. 

Just in time to get a face-full of his massive cock before his lower body slips under the water.

Any excitable banter they were having dies in their throats. “M-morning,” they all croak, Eren’s return of greeting unsurprisingly the loudest and most awkward.

Erwin chuckles, waving at them to continue. “Please, do continue, I just thought i’d socialise with some of you today.” 

Jean tries hard to focus on his lips - where  _words_  are coming out - but he can’t help it when his eyes slide down to the commander’s junk, horrified to find the size of his cock magnified by the water. He looks away sharply, embarrassment colouring his cheeks.

Erwin leans back, comfortable, arms spread across the rim of the communal tub. “Connie, did I overhear that you had some interesting ideas about a more sustainable diet for those in the underground?” A corner of his mouth twitches upwards and Jean’s not sure if he’s fucking with them. It’s hard to tell.

“It’s stupid,” Jean grumbles. He almost squeals when Erwin slides a little closer and grips his shoulder. He’s all too aware of how  _naked_  he is - how he feels almost excessively so - and whilst he’s not a prude by nature he’s never seen the commander without a shirt on let alone with his cock out and about between his legs like another participant in whatever the fuck kind of circle this bath is turning out to be.

“Imagination is never stupid,” Erwin says. “Creative thinking could save lives.” Erwin pointedly looks over at Armin, who has all but crumpled in on himself, face buried in his small arms.

Berthold is sweating enough for all of them.

Jean wonders when Erwin is going to get around to washing his body.  _Am i going to see him scrub his crack?_

He wants to get out but he doesn’t want him to see his ass, so he sits still, legs crossed, the commanders hand still clamped on his shoulder. The silence is painfully awkward. He even shares an unbelieving look with Eren, and in that moment he feels a bond form between them.

“Fucking hell Erwin, what the shit are you doing in there.”

They all look up at the sound of Levi’s voice. 

“Washing up, of course,” Erwin responds easily, his other palm skittering along the surface of the water.

“Those boys are fucking  _disgusting_ , you’re probably sitting in pool of cum and sweat and teenage hormones. Get out before you get a damn disease.” Levi shocks them all by marching up to the tub and actually pulling at Erwin’s arm like a petulant child.

“I fixed the shower upstairs, come on, you can wash there.” 

Erwin sighs, knowing better than to fight.

“I guess I have no option then, knowing you. Very well. Thank you for your company, boys.”

He stands up, giving them all a healthy view of his sculpted ass as he steps out of the bath and wraps a towel around his waist. Levi clicks his tongue at him, telling him to hurry up. Erwin waves goodbye before leaving, the captain stalking in front of him angrily.

They all fall into silence.

“He only came here because his shower broke,” Eren grumbles. “He didn’t even want to socialise, what a fucking liar.” 

Connie is the first to laugh.


	79. Chapter 79

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous  
> Levi shaving off Erwin's eyebrows when they're drunk one night. Erwin wondering why his face feels cold the next day

“Something’s not right,” Erwin complains, his voice still rough with sleep. He’s barely opened his eyes.

“What do you mean?” Levi asks.

He knows what he means. He’s been awake for a while.

He looks over at Erwin’s face, to where his eyebrows used to be. He’s had some time to recall, comprehend, and accept the very real horrors of last’s nights events - a luxury Erwin has not.

“I feel light…strange…and not in a good way.” Erwin blows out a breath and agitatedly runs his hand over his face, up to tangle through his hair. He doesn’t notice any difference.

“Hm,” Levi grunts, stroking Erwin’s bicep lazily, gaze still stuck on Erwin. The place above his brows is paler than the rest of his face, prickly and shaved unevenly, evidence of a drunken hand -  _his_  hand. Erwin looks so fucking ridiculous he’s not sure if he’s going to let him fuck him until his eyebrows grow back.

He doesn’t dare laugh because holy shit Erwin is going to fucking flip when he realises whats happened, and he doesn’t want to be there when he does.

“Big day today,” Levi sighs, ever the actor. He throws his legs over the other side of the bed and wastes no time in dressing quickly. Erwin is staring up at the ceiling with a frown, still trying to figure out why he feels so off, he’s sure.

“Oh?” Erwin asks, face morphing from confusion to question. “I didn’t think we had anything different on today.”

“My bowels do,” Levi says, “gotta take a really big shit.” He buckles up his pants and all but swan dives into his top.

“Alright,” Erwin chuckles. “I’ll see you later. I need to freshen up, too.”

Levi presses a tight-lipped kiss to his forehead, right above the devastating scene where his own guilty hand committed the greatest atrocity humanity’s ever seen after the titans.

He practically runs to the door, leaving Erwin half wrapped in a blanket and thinking hard about why his face - and only his face - feels colder than usual.


	80. Chapter 80

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> text dump
> 
> tw: violence; death; implied rape of a minor.
> 
> post acwnr

It’s three months after Isabel and Farlan die that the wire snaps.

He’s walking to the market for personal supplies when he hears a groan from a nearby alley. He pads over, tentative but curious, to see two men pushing up another against the wall. Muggers. He observes lazily, unsure whether to intervene. Whether it’s worth it.

_I remember when i was doing the same thing…robbing people for scraps.._

He was a product of his environment, and in the underground, this scene was second nature. Standard protocol. He didn’t know their story, didn’t know how desperate they were for food or money. Currency works differently for the poor. Money doesn’t change hands for goods and services but at the tip of a knife. It’s a system that works. He knows how easy it is to judge people when your circumstances are better.

“ _Help!”_

Except something about that voice isn’t right.

One of the men shifts enough for him to see that the man - the one being robbed - is in fact a young boy, can’t be older than fourteen. His upper body instinctively lurches into fight, but his legs stay put, locked down by hesitance and fear and whatever type of new and unfamiliar wariness Erwin has drilled into him in the last few months.

He grabs at the blade in his pocket, one boot crunching the rubble beneath it as he takes a step forward. It’s enough to alert the assailants. One immediately runs off. The other makes quick work of the boy - yanking his head up roughly by his hair and slitting his throat.

“Hey!” Levi yells, running now. The man smirks at him before turning around and disappearing in a cloud of dust.

He does’t pursue them, huddles over the body instead. His hands fly to the boy’s throat, trying to seal the slit with the sweat and salt of his hand and prayers to gods he didn’t believe in. The boy chokes, gargles on clots of blood and Levi chokes with him, guilt and adrenaline expanding in his throat and shortening his breath. The boy brings a red palm up to Levi’s chest and grabs a fistful of the wool of his cloak, clenching tightly like it will stop his soul from leaving his body. Another small hand tugs at his trousers weakly, tries to pull them up from where they were pulled down.

His looks right into Levi’s eyes and he can’t bring himself to look away.

He doesn’t realise he’s begging and apologising until the hand falls limp and drops, his cloak scrunched together where it was pinched so tightly. He looks down at his own hands, shaking and bloodied. it’s too familiar.

_i made…another wrong choice…_

He’s panicking now, a tightness in his chest he’s never felt before. He wonders if he’s dying too. He releases the boy and stands, a hand on his throat, the other against the wall. He looks down at the corpse, a soul too green plucked too early, his pants around his thighs. No dignity or grace. He throws up on his own boots and the sight disgusts him even more. He can’t breathe. 

He needs to go, and so he leaves, in a daze and semi-conscious of the fact that he left the body behind like roadkill. His face is hot as he stumbles out the alleyway. He needs the cold air, needs to run.

And he is before he knows it, running fast and hard, away from the alley and the market and the poison in these walls, from everything he knows. He runs like he might escape the ever-watching eye of death, might escape the weight of his sins.

He doesn’t know how long he runs for, it could be a minute or an hour. It’s all the same. People and buildings mesh together. He hears harsh shouts and complaints as he whizzes past, shouldering anything and anyone that gets in his way. All he feels are his breaths, coming quick and short, in a rhythm with his legs and the drum of his pulse in his ears.

When something glides up to his right, he doesn’t stop to look. His eyes strain with focus, ahead, always ahead. Away. He hears his name but doesn’t stop. Nothing is real, nothing matters.

“ _Levi!_ ”

The sound is closer to his ear now, and he snaps out of it long enough to see Erwin riding alongside him on his horse, face stern and pinched with worry.

“ _Levi,”_ he yells, “stop!”  

He couldn’t stop running if he tried, thinks he might never be able to. He’ll run forever, straight to the horizon, to the end of the earth.

“Where are you going?!”

“To the end,” he manages to choke out - he himself not even sure what he means - and Erwin looks more sympathetic than confused. He’s kicking his horse now, struggling to keep up even with the advantage.

“You’ll hit the wall,” he shouts, “you can’t keep running.”

“Yes I can,” Levi hisses, even as he feels like his lungs are giving out and deflating in his chest. “So just fuck off and let me!” He increases his pace, jogging ahead, noting with some relief that Erwin falls back with his horse.

The wind hits his face and he feels like he needs it to survive. When he comes across the wall he runs along it, undeterred. He doesn’t stop until he trips over something and goes flying a few metres forward, hands scraping on the ground roughly, layers of skin peeling back.

His neck is twisted in a way it shouldn’t be but he doesn’t move, collapses like that. When his vision clears up he’s so close to the ground that he can see every grain of soil. He eyes it closely. The grains are lighter in colour than the actual soil. They’re all different shapes, too. He didn’t know that. The soil next to his face tumbles away as he breathes hard.

Eventually Erwin steps up behind him, pulls him up by his shoulders so that his neck isn’t twisted into his chest. He didn’t even hear him arrive from how strong his blood beat in his ears.

“Are you feeling better?” he asks, handing him a bottle of water. He takes a look at Levi’s shredded hands before deciding to open it himself.

“I made…the wrong choice,” he pants.

Erwin looks like he understands, even though he cant possibly know what he’s talking about - just nods slightly. “Let’s get you back.” He doesn’t say anything about the vomit on his boots.

“How did you find me,” he asks, rolling onto his back with a grunt.

“You ran straight past our headquarters,” Erwin says calmly. “You gave Shadis a fright - thought you came with news of titans.” Erwin chuckles and it breaks something in him, exacerbates his guilt.

He pinches his lips together. “A boy died and it was my fault. I could have saved him. I - i’m so fucked up - I thought -”

“Shhh”

Erwin doesn’t flinch at the news. “Remember what we spoke about. About regrets and choices. Nothing has changed.”

Levi looks up at the sky, body numb.

“You said you would follow me,” Erwin says, and when Levi looks at him he sees conviction.

“Yes,” he rasps. He doesn’t deserve to live but Erwin is redemption if he ever saw it. Atonement is in the tip of his blades and executed on the nape of a neck. “To the end.”

Erwin just smiles, places the water bottle back in his hands. He throws up again whilst Erwin bandages his hands.


	81. Chapter 81

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: ‘you found me hanging by my fingertips from your window and i don’t want to tell you i was trying to rob you but idk how else to explain this and i don’t want to go to jail and also you’re kind of cute we should make out when i’m not clinging onto your window ledge for my life’ au (x)

“What the fuck.”

The man stares down at him with wide blue eyes, a little confused, a little amused. “I think I should be the one saying that.”

He never thought that he’d get caught like this, a simple house job that he could have done easily in his teens,  _blindfolded_. How prince charming here managed to enter the room and slide the window open without a sound is beyond him.

“Are you selling cookies?” The man asks, the corner of his lip twitching up by _just_ that much. Fucker.

Something about not being taken seriously as a thief and a criminal makes him angry.

He’s still hanging off the window ledge, fingers straining against the wood, his neck bent and twisted back to look the man in the eyes. He probably shouldn’t sass the middle-aged white guy who probably has the police on speed dial, but he doesn’t like how he’s taking the piss either.

“Can you even eat cookies with those dentures you old fuck,” he spits. The guy is actually hot as hell: neatly groomed, impeccable hair, striking features and eyes that peel your skin back to expose you, bones, insecurity and all.

“You would rob an old man like me? Cruel.” He folds his muscular arms over his chest and leans against the window frame, looking over Levi like he’s the most entertaining thing he’s ever encountered.

“I’m here to talk about our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.” 

Never reveal your true intentions was the first rule he was taught, no matter how ridiculous or obvious it seems. Legal bullshit.

“Oh?” The man smiles, an unsettling cheshire cat grin that lets Levi know he has no doubts about what he’s doing hanging from his window. “Try again.”

“You’re hot and I wanted to watch you while having a wank?” he tries. You can’t go to prison for being a pervert…can you?

“Not quite safe. You’re still breaking and entering. Besides, you could get done for indecent exposure, too.” 

He stretches out his arms and places his hand’s over Levi’s, fingers tracing his knuckles slowly. He could throw him off in a second if he wanted to, send him spiralling to his death and claim it was self defence. He swallows hard, his arms starting to go numb from the pain of holding himself up.  _Just my luck to rob the one sick fuck in the street._

“You a lawyer or some shit,” he chokes out, fingers renewing their hold on the wood. The panic must show in his eyes because the next thing the man does is grab at Levi’s wrists. He’s not sure if it’s a good or bad thing.

“Tell me why you’re robbing me and I wont call the police.”

He considers telling him to fuck off but it’s not worth it for a couple of years in prison. He already knows what would happen to him in there…a guy of his size and looks. He swallows down his pride. “I need money for food,” he admits. He holds the man’s piercing gaze because like hell he’s going to be pitied. 

The man’s eyes roam over his face, and then the rest of him, as though gauging whether his body tells a different story. He must be satisfied with the explanation because he then pulls Levi up in into the window, releasing him once he’s on his feet.

He extends his hand. “My name is Erwin.” Fucking bizarre. 

He thinks of the knife in his pocket - he could slash him in a second, somewhere non-fatal like his thigh, and then take the first thing he sees. There are no cameras on his property so it’s not like anyone would know.

But he doesn’t, because something about the way this guy gave him a chance and looks at him like he’s more human than sewer rat has him going soft. His knuckles still tingle from where they were grazed by those clean-cut fingertips.

He extends his own. “Levi.” 


	82. Chapter 82

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:
> 
> psst, erwin and nile totally fucked as cadets, and one day levi finds out... he has never been acting the same way around shitty-beard since

“What. the. fuck did you just say,” Levi spits, eyes wide and teeth grit tight.

 Erwin shifts from foot to foot, tight-lipped and uncharacteristically sheepish. “It’s true.” 

 “Nile.”

 “Yes.”

 They stare at each other, Erwin’s expression pleading and a little ashamed, Levi’s pupils festering grey pools of anger and disgust. 

 “That dick, which you put in my ass every second day, has been in Nile.” 

 Erwin scratches the back of his head. “Please don’t overreact, Levi. He’s not a bad guy…and things were different back then.” 

 Levi bends over, hands tight on his knees as he closes his eyes. “Im gonna throw up - fuck.” 

 Erwin pads over quickly, a hand placed tentatively on his shoulder. “If its any consolation, he topped more than I did.”

“Oh god,” Levi whimpers, slumping in defeat. “Even your asshole is tainted.”

 Erwin cups Levi’s face with a large palm. “Levi…” 

 “I need to sit down.” Levi slumps down on the couch in Erwin’s office, hand on his forehead. He makes faint whimpering and groaning noises, no doubt visualising a scene he doesn’t at all want to imagine. 

Erwin lets him ride it out.

* * *

Nile comes across Levi in the capital by chance, scowling when the Captain bends over to pretend to retch at the sight of him. 

“Ha-ha okay yeah very funny I get it,” he spits. 

 He walks past him with complete indifference, thinking it a bit overdone that Levi actually vomited merely for the sake tormenting him.


	83. Chapter 83

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous  
> More breakup Eruri please!

He can feel it in the way Erwin doesn’t laugh as much at his dry humour. 

He can feel it in the way Erwin smiles at him, lazy and half-forced. 

He can feel it in the way he doesn’t text him any chance he gets when he’s at work - not anymore, not like he used to.

He can feel it in the way Erwin sighs, two exhausted puffs of air per minute.

Yes - he can feel Erwin’s love waning, dissipating, crumbling and held together by pure will alone. He does nothing, because doing something means admitting it. 

He can’t,  _won’t_ , give Erwin that window.

They’re watching television, some trashy reality show. Erwin’s eyes are on the screen but his mind is somewhere else. Levi doesn’t know where, but he doesn’t like it - doesn’t like the absent look on Erwin’s face, emotion blocked like a dam, his flesh only slightly twitching with suppressed misery.  
  
So he calls him back, steers him away from the kinds of ideas and thoughts that keep Levi up at night, chest heaving and hands panicked as they search for Erwin’s form beside him. 

“Want to put a movie on?” he asks, sliding into Erwin’s side a little closer, a little tighter, trying to stitch himself to Erwin like they’re on opposite sides of a wound that wont stop opening, gaping wider and wider. Ripping apart.  
  
“I want to break up,” Erwin says without missing a beat, but his voice is a harsh croak. He doesn’t even move his arm from around Levi’s shoulder.

Levi swallows, the burn on his cheeks spreading like wildfire. His heart knocks against his ribs in protest, seeking release from its prison of bone, seeking permission to cry and beat at its own chest. He wants to die.

“Lets see if netflix has anything new,” he says, picking up the remote with a shaky, sweaty hand.

Erwin sighs, a small puff of air hitting his neck - the first. Levi waits for the second.

 


	84. Chapter 84

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous  
> Err.. erm.. *whispers ashamedly*.. Levi's funeral, canonverse. Break my heart.

He’s not sure if his coffin is especially light or if he’s too numb to feel its weight as he eases it into the mud-slick ground. Not dirt - no, definitely not - dirt is filthy. It’s soil, clean, pure soil. From beyond the wall. Some of it crumbles from the side of the grave and onto the coffin, and Erwin chokes on his own breath, stretches out his hand as if to command it to  _wait, please, i’m not ready, don’t take him just yet_

How could it be that he’s here and his lover there, separated and betrayed by the same layer of earth they fought to reclaim. His fingers tremble as they grip the wood, his nails ragged and filthy. Those details don’t matter anymore. Someone grabs his arm but he can only feel the ghosts of Levi’s small palms grabbing his own.  _tch, so dirty…_

The silence burns.

“Levi was…” 

 _was_  
  
God - fuck - he misses him, he misses him so much. None of this is right, he was never meant to outlive him. The phantom space on his right feels so barren now, so empty. 

“Levi doesn’t need a speech,” Hange says in rescue, clamping a wet hand down on his shoulder. He had forgotten the entire corps was listening, waiting, watching him stretch and un-stretch his hand for minutes on end. They’re looking at him like they’re expecting a miracle from that palm. but he has nothing to perform, nothing to show but his own faltering composure

“We all know what his contributions were…”

Erwin shakes his head because no, that’s not enough, those words don’t do justice, can’t even remotely explain or honour  _anything_  about the man who lived and breathed war for everyone’s sake except his own.

In the end, it’s Hange who delivers the speech, who restores faith in whatever hearts are still alive enough to receive it. He places his bolo tie next to the coffin.

“Bury him quickly,” he orders. “Don’t forget we’re still in titan territory.”

He watches every scoop of soil as it drums against the coffin, watches as he gets further and further away. The coffin is so small he almost smiles.

It’s only when Levi’s completely buried that he asks for a minute alone, dropping down onto his knees and pressing his cheek against the soil, then grain-coated lips. “Get some rest,” he whispers, “i’ll be with you soon.”


	85. Chapter 85

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous  
> for your office prompt, boss Levi in suit and Erwin as a very manly printer repair guy (sounds porn ik .w. )

“And it makes these shitty sounds all the time.”

“I see,” the repairman says, bending over to inspect the back of the printer. His forearms are thick and muscled, flexing and straining as he pushes the large machine around. He makes it look so easy. 

He’s inundated with thoughts of what those hands could do.

Levi clears his throat. “And sometimes it doesn’t fucking print unless I kick it.”

The man pops his head back around and raises a large eyebrow. “Sir, kicking the printer is never useful. Don’t do that.”

“Tch. It’s my company’s printer, i’ll kick it whenever I damn want. What do you care.”

The man -  _Erwin -_ unscrews the back of the printer and starts to fumble with some wires. Levi takes the opportunity to give his eyes free reign to roam over that glorious, other-worldly ass. He adjusts his tie a little around his neck - a nervous habit.

“You should respect the equipment.”

The fuck? Who even speaks like that? 

“Don’t worry. Shitcube and I have a good working relationship.” He kicks the printer roughly with the flat sole of his glossy shoe for good measure. 

There’s something about Erwin’s building frustration that he thoroughly enjoys in the most twisted, sadistic sense. And it’s not just how hot Erwin looks either, with his pinched brows and slightly agitated pout and his…face.

“So you’re the CEO,” Erwin comments more than asks, eyes downcast as he plucks out a plastic piece of _something_  that Levi couldn’t give two fucks about. “Surely you have more pressing matters to address right now.”

“Nope,” Levi says, lips popping as he rolls over a black corporate chair to throne himself. “Gotta make sure you don’t fuck up my printer even more.” He crosses his legs as he drinks in the sight of Erwin’s broad shoulders and thick neck.

“So little trust,” Erwin mumbles, getting all fours to peek inside the machine some more. Levi feels like he might get a nosebleed.

“It’s an expensive printer.”

Erwin hums. “This is the third time in two months that i’ve had to fix it,” he comments.

Levi narrows his eyes. “It breaks a lot.”

“Of course it does,” Erwin chuckles, and  _God_  he could just fall into those dimples and die.

“What the fuck does that mean,” he hisses.

“It means you could save yourself a lot of money if you just asked me out already.”

Levi stills, petite hands gripping the arms of his chair. “I’m not gay,” he spits. “And even if I were, I could do better than you.”

“Okay,” Erwin says, hardly fazed, a devious smile on his lips. “My apologies.” Levi is forced to wonder how it is that he’s been picking on this guy for twenty solid minutes with no success.

“Same issue as last time,” Erwin announces with no surprise in his voice as he pulls out a mangled bunch of ink-stained papers from the back of the printer. “My guess is that someone in your company…perhaps an employee…is doing this on purpose.” There’s that smile again. “You might want to investigate that.”

“Yeah,” Levi croaks, crossing his arms like it might prevent Erwin from seeing his secrets. It’s stupid.

Erwin packs up his stuff and Levi sulks silently as he inspects the printer for any scratches or stains that he could potentially bitch about. Anything to keep him here longer. Of course there are none - the guy is meticulous. Erwin leaves with a quick thanks and a promise to mail them the bill.

“Hey Levi - you gonna jam the printer again?” Hange asks once he’s gone.

“You bet your flat ass I am.”


	86. Chapter 86

He fucks him like he means to punish, hard and rough like he’s trying to break him. 

“Erwin, fuck -  _stop_  for a sec”

Erwin’s breathing hard, eyes pinched closed, Levi’s flesh spilling out from in-between his fingers from how hard he holds onto his hips. He’s not hearing him, not over the force of his thrusts.

“Erwin!”

He halts, eyes opening in confusion. “What is it” he rasps, “i’m- did i hurt you?” There’s a twitch of guilt.

“No, it’s fine,” he quickly soothes. “But your head isn’t fucking here. You’re not even thinking about - ”

A sigh.

“Never mind…just slow down.”

Erwin breathes hard, chest heaving. “I…need this,” he slowly admits, eyes downcast. Is that coyness or shame? 

“I know. But you can’t take your anger out on my ass. Shit - you’re fucking me like you hate me.”

“You know that’s not h- ”

“I know,” he spits, unable to stop the bite. “But i’m here too.”

“I’m sorry,” Erwin croaks, leaning down and kissing his neck, then his cheek. His cock slips out, soft. 

Levi turns around and strokes him back to hardness with a hand as he presses a kiss to his throat. “You’re okay.”


	87. Chapter 87

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> return of printer repairman!Erwin and ceo!levi (in which Levi is not subtle and also sweats a lot)

“You broke my printer.”

“I most certainly did not.”

Levi huffed impatiently, pressing the phone closer to his ear. “You most  _certainly_ fucking did. Come fix it.”

“Mr Ackerman,” Erwin sighed, his voice gravelly through the crackle of the line. “Your printer isn’t broken, it’s most likely jammed… _again_. I can guide you right now on how to fix it.”

“Do I look like some blue collar peasant? I’ve got shit to do.”

“Very well. I’ll send another repairman out since i’m currently unavailable.”

“No. You broke it, you fix it.”

“Nile is an excellent repairman.”

“I’m available anytime after two,” Levi replies stiffly, shutting the line and slamming his mobile down onto his desk like that would make a difference. 

He’s sweating, pits, palms, pores and all.

* * *

Erwin doesn’t come. 

Not at 2pm, not at 4pm, not even by 7pm -  _well_  after standard work hours. He knows this, of course, because he did nothing but watch their office door, twitching like a paranoid drug addict every time someone so much as touched the door knob. 

Hange plants an empathetic hand on his shoulder.

“’got stood up,” he sulks, crossing his arms. Hange, apologetic, hands him a stick of red licorice. Its probably been in their pocket for two weeks but he accepts it anyway, biting down on it miserably.

“Poor chicken,” they coo, handing him another licorice stick as they pet his hair. “That repairman was a fine piece of ass too.”

“I even changed my sweaty shirt.”

“You would have done that anyway.”

He frowns, bitter. “He’ll see what happens.”

* * *

Erwin doesn’t come the next day either, nor the day after. In fact, it’s a full week before he comes waltzing into the office, tools in hand, calm like he didn’t dare to disobey him. 

Levi narrows his eyes and tries not to choke on his heart as it lunges into his throat. This time he’s at the reception desk by chance rather than because of his own pathetic pining. He leads Erwin to the printer room silently.

“My apologies for not coming earlier,” Erwin begins, dropping onto his knees beside the printer and getting into the now familiar routine.  _Always so polite._ “I’ve had a busy couple of days and unfortunately this was not a priority job.”

Levi says nothing, rolling over the same chair from before and falling into it as he watches Erwin unscrew the printer, remove the plastic piece of something he  _still_  doesn’t give a fuck about, and yank out some papers.

“What…” Erwin mutters, brows creasing, “What am I supposed to do with this?” he asks, holding up a photocopy of Levi’s ass, ‘ _fuck you_ ’ scribbled on it with a red marker

“Kiss it,” Levi says calmly, eyes half-lidded with boredom.

“You want me to kiss your ass?”

He’s about to make a smart retort about how he knew it was  _his_  ass when Erwin suddenly stands up, making Levi shoot out of his chair and take a few tentative steps back. Erwin doesn’t look angry as he closes the door and turns the lock, but he can’t read his expression. 

Did he go too far? 

Erwin turns towards him again.

“Oi,” he starts, fists at the ready for a fight, “stay where you are pervert.”

“I thought you wanted me to kiss your ass?” Erwin smirks. _Is he fucking with me? “_ This  _is_  you, isnt it, Mr Ackerman?” he asks, holding out the photocopy for Levi to see.

“What if it is,” he spits, “What’sit to you.” His cheeks are burning and his voice shakes a little.  _fuck fuck fuck i gave it away_

Erwin takes a step forward, making Levi inhale deeply, backing up until his back hits another printer at the opposite end of the room. Erwin doesn’t hesitate as he puts his large hands on Levi’s hips and leans in close to his ear. “I’d recognise your delectable ass any day, _”_  he whispers, so close and hot it makes him shiver.

Erwin noses along his neck as he braces himself again the printer, too stiff and awkward to move. “All bark and no bite,” Erwin hums, pressing his lips in a not-kiss to Levi’s pulse. It’s cruel, so cruel. He’s already getting hard, just being this close to him, smelling him for the first time, feeling the bulk of him towering over his smaller frame. the potential…

“Do you want me to touch you?” Erwin asks calmly, tucking a strand of black hair behind his ear.  _patronising fucker…_  

“Hm?” he prompts when Levi doesn’t answer, choosing to breathe heavily instead. His tongue won’t work. 

He moves both hands back down to Levi’s hips and he can’t help but whimper at the feeling.

“What’s that?”

“Bastard,” Levi grits, face burning up a fire. “You can touch me.”

“No, I can’t,” Erwin smiles. He moves away and walks back to his tools, leaving him flushed, hard and panting against the printer.

“The fuck?” Levi spits.

“We’re working - It’s unprofessional. Plus, I want to take you out first.”

“I never said I wanted to date you.”

“Isn’t it a little late for that?” Erwin says, screwing the back of the printer on again like he wasn’t just one minute away from frottage. “I already know you like me. I knew from the first day I came.”

“Wanting to fuck you and wanting to date you are two different things.”

“So which is it?” Erwin asks, completely serious, blue eyes glimmering. “You have a lot of pride,” he comments when Levi doesn’t answer yet again. “I have to go, but feel free to call me when you decide.”

Levi trails behind him, sheepish, feeling like a kid and a fool. Erwin stops at the door and hands Levi the photocopies he pulled from the printer. To Levi’s horror, he pockets one of them.

“Incase you don’t call,” he says with a wink, opening the door and waving goodbye to Hange at the front desk.

“Yeah Levi! Git some,” Hange hoots once he drags himself over to their desk.

“Hange”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up and get me a dry shirt.”


	88. Chapter 88

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous  
> are you still accepting prompts? idk if this is the right place to prompt but... i'd really like to see modern au erwin and levi swimming at the deep end of the pool and levi's too short to reach the bottom and erwin has to hold him up and idk just fluff

Erwin guides him along the edge of the pool, left arm around Levi’s small waist as he pushes them along the wall with his right. Levi’s legs linger close to his own as they move to the deeper end of the pool, tentacle-like limbs ready to wrap around him at the first feeling of danger.

They’ve gone far enough that Levi’s feet can’t reach the bottom of the pool anymore. “You okay?” he asks, noticing the way Levi’s grip on the edge of the pool tightens.

“Yeah,” he nods. “Keep going.” They shuffle along a bit further, just as tentative as before. He has no doubt that the other people around think he’s training a child as opposed to a thirty-four year old man. 

They reach the deepest point of the pool. Levi breathes a little rougher, but otherwise looks calm. He looks positively endearing with his ear plugs and new swimming goggles pinched tight around his face. The tips of his hair are sharp wet points, but he refuses to put his face under the water.

_Urine water in my ears and eyes? no fucking thanks._

“Can I let you go?” Erwin asks, smiling at the way Levi’s eyes widen at the suggestion. He plants a kiss on his forehead. “Just practice floating on your back, like we did before.” He moves his arm from around his waist and pushes back a bit, leaving Levi clambering slightly on the slippery edge of the pool.

With a confident bout of bravery Erwin must commend, Levi lets go, gliding onto his back gracefully. 

Before sinking like a rock and splashing around in a fear-induced panic. 

Erwin is quick to scoop him up and lift him onto the edge of the pool, his legs dangling as he rips off his goggles and coughs roughly.

“I can taste other people’s piss,” he spits angrily, rubbing at his eyes. “And these goggles don’t fucking work.”

Erwin grips one of his knees, gives it a squeeze. He can’t help but laugh and give Levi’s leg a peck. The water somehow got behind his googles, and he loves the way Levi’s long lashes clump together in spikes, his wet hair sticking to his face.

“You look like a drowned weasel,” he comments with a smirk.

Levi reaches down to where Erwin continues to float in the pool, muscled arms folded over each other on the edge. He runs his hands through Erwin’s hair, frowning when his fingers don’t glide smoothly through the blonde strands. “I’m only here because you look hot when you swim, you know.”

“I know.”

“But I want to go home now.”

“Already?” Erwin pouts, “we just got here.”

“I have to shower and brush my teeth,” Levi argues, speaking with the severity of one heading into surgery.

“One more try,” Erwin grins, grabbing Levi by the hips and pulling him back into the water. 


	89. Chapter 89

Owning a teashop has its perks, Levi thinks from behind his immaculately shined counter.

Whilst his hole-in-the-wall tea café usually attracts people of the hipster/senile variety, today the fates drag in a particularly confused looking businessman.

A particularly _handsome_ businessman.

This guy looks like Wall Street chewed him up and spat him out, with his neatly pressed suit and his expensive suitcase. Not to mention his meticulously brushed hair and _god_ those arms bulging right through his suit jacket.

He looks serious, almost intimidatingly so, but it somehow compliments his hard-cut features.

Levi shuffles behind his barely-used coffee machine so that he can let his inner pervert go berserk as he steals some looks.

Eventually the man takes a seat at the back of the cafe, and Levi feels slightly insecure as he strides over with a cheap, laminated menu. “I’ll give you a couple of minutes,” he says, not allowing the man to respond before he’s scrambling back to his counter. He wipes it down even though it’s already clean, and then neatens his already orderly line of tea canisters.

He counts exactly 120 seconds before heading back with a notepad and pen. He doesn’t need it, but it will be his refuge if he needs somewhere to look. He’s never been very good with eye contact.

Up close the man is a little more frazzled than he first appeared to be, but just as good looking as he expected. His white shirt is clean but crinkled, neat hair betrayed by some gold-lined dissenters that curl in different directions. 

_Cute._

He’s even taken off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves, and Levi notes that his eyes are blue, so blue. They crinkle at the edges when he smiles, like he is now, _at him._

“Hello,” the man says. Well fuck him if he doesn’t have dimples as well.

“Hi. What can I get you.”

Blunt, disinterested, just like every other customer. Levi prides himself on his egalitarianism.

“Can I get a coffee, please? A long black.”

“We don’t make coffee here, sorry.”

The man frowns as his eyes roam over to the coffee machine near the register. Levi sighs, cocking a hip and crossing his arms. “I _can_ make coffee but I don’t like doing it because, one, this is a specialty tea shop, two, it tastes like shit, three, it’s bad for you, four, I don’t want to.”

The man gapes a little. “I don’t suppose I can be the exception?”

“No.”

“That attitude can’t be good for business,” he says with no bite, looking equally amused as he is taken aback.

“Look at this place, does it look like i’m here for the money?”

“Interesting,” the man hums, a small smile lifting the corner of his mouth. Blue eyes skitter back to the menu and Levi, debauched as he is, takes the opportunity to soak in the sight of his forearms. _Turned on by wrist bones…how fucking sad._

“Alright then, I’ll have tea,” the man says, “black tea.”

Levi quirks a brow, waiting for the rest, for more detail, _anything_. After an awkward silence the man seems to realise that he’s erred somehow, so he picks up the menu again, plump lips pursed as he focuses on the list anew.

“This one,” he points. Levi follows the line of his finger.

“That’s not a black tea,” he says, blinking slowly.

“Oh…well, I suppose I’ll order it anyway. Can’t hurt to try something new.”

Considering the tea choice, Levi thinks he probably hasn’t tried anything beyond standard supermarket-stocked English Breakfast. “Right,” he agrees, pocketing his notebook and plucking the menu off the table. “Anything else?”

“No, that’s all, thank you.”

Levi nods before walking away, the back of his neck tingling under the imagined weight of sapphire blue eyes.

It doesn’t take him long to organise a simple tray with a small teapot, a bowl of his specified tealeaves, and an appropriately sized mesh ball and chain infuser. He puts a complimentary biscuit because hey, why the fuck not if it will get him to come again.

He carefully places the tray on his table, noticing that the man is now scrolling through the news on his tablet. He’s polite enough to click it shut and grin at Levi when he arrives, stupidly happy over a simple order of tea. Levi’s heart takes a plunge before he can catch it.

“Perfect, thank you…everything here is so lovely.” He looks around the café before looking up at Levi, eyes crinkling again, and Levi can’t fight a small blush. He doesn’t know if _he_ was intended to have been grouped in with the compliment of his shoddy little café’s aesthetic, but it doesn’t hurt anyone to imagine that he was.

“Thanks,” he mutters coyly, walking briskly back to the counter. He pretends to be busy again, watching the customer from the corner of his eye as he opens up his tablet, resumes reading whatever-the-fuck is trending in the world of white men and money.

At some point he checks on his other customers, and when they don’t need or want anything, he heads back to his cash register, a little bored, a little mopey. He chances a look up at The Customer – as he has now dubbed him – and finds him poking around his tray like one might a carcass with a stick.

Levi smirks to himself as the man pinches some of the fine tealeaves between his fingers, seemingly confused as to what to do with them. In his other hand he holds up the infuser like it’s some foreign instrument, examining it closely before condemning it to the corner of the tray. When he catches Levi looking at him he picks it back up, embarrassed, and Levi nods as if to say _yes, good, you’re on your way._

 

The fingers pinching the tealeaves hover above his teacup, and he looks up to Levi for approval and guidance. Levi shakes his head, and at the man’s frustrated look, he finally makes his way over.

“What are you, a bloody barbarian? You need to unclasp the infuser like this,” Levi says, clicking it open to show him how it’s done. “And you put the tealeaves in. Obviously if you want it stronger you put a lot, but some people like the finer, subtle taste. For this type of tea I wouldn’t recommend putting a lot.”

The man watches him with hooded eyes, and Levi has to wonder if he’s even listening. It pisses him off a little. “Then you just dip it in the hot water and let it infuse for a bit.”

He’s about to pour some of the water in his cup for him when he notices the fuckload of sugar dumped in there. “You’re having _that_ much sugar? That’s going to butcher the taste of this tea. You might as well just drink damn sugar water.”

He can feel the man’s eyes on his face and he starts to burn up, unable to meet his gaze. Why isn’t he saying anything?

“I apologise, I hardly drink tea,” he finally offers in response.

“I can tell,” Levi snorts, scratching at non-existent dirt on the table just to give himself something to do and somewhere to look.

“Hey,” the man says, and at the changed tone of his voice Levi looks up. He’s considering him closely, blue eyes kind and soft. “My name is Erwin.”

“Okay…” His palms sweat as he wipes them on his jeans, only just marginally aware of how fast he’s losing control of himself and this entire situation. “Levi.”

“Levi…would you like to join me for tea?” he says, offering up a dimpled smile. Levi could fall into the wells of those dimples.

“ _What_? I’m working.”

“I can see that.” Erwin says, and it’s not patronizing, just honest. When Levi doesn’t move he reaches out for his wrist tentatively, sending a hot jolt up his arm that has his bowels stirring from nerves. He uses his wrist to bring Levi’s smaller palm into his own.

“I apologise if this is forward, but I must admit I came in here for you. I saw you from the shop window and couldn’t stay away.”

“Okay,” Levi repeats, cheeks on fire, mind in overdrive. Erwin’s thumb traces over his hand lightly and it’s driving him crazy.

“I planned to have a bit more tact than this,” Erwin chuckles, leaning forward a bit in his chair. “But you’re so beautiful it seems i’m losing sight of myself.”

Levi looks away, pulling his hand back to his chest. It’s embarrassing how overwhelmed he is. He’s never been courted like this. He deflects it. “You’re embarrassing yourself.”

Erwin grins up at him. “It’s worth it if you’ll sit down with me. Won’t you?”

Erwin actually stands up and pulls out a chair for him, like he doesn’t own this fucking place himself.

He can’t deny that it does something to him, to be treated like this. To know that he’s the reason behind that stupid smile.

“Maybe just for a bit,” he grumbles, taking the seat and crossing his arms petulantly.

Yes, Levi thinks, owning a teashop definitely has its perks.


	90. Chapter 90

In hindsight, leaning over Erwin was a bad idea. 

His face is close to the Commander’s as he peers over his shoulder at the map on his desk. He smells amazing, like expensive cologne from the capital. Combined with the broad set of his shoulders, the thickness of his neck, and the small peak of a pout on his lips - Levi is dizzy all over again with fondness. lust. love.

He doesn’t know which one it is, _exactly_ , but what he does know is that he’s bottled up his feelings for so long. too long. There’s no room for love in a world like theirs, and even if there was, he’s not sure Erwin’s heart would accommodate him, filled as it is with guilt and ambition. Still…

Erwin absentmindedly traces over the map lightly with a finger, as if to envision how it might shape out on the actual expedition, as if to make sure that the map is real and that their last week of all-nighters wasn’t in vain.

“I think this one is going to be successful,” Erwin says, voice low and intimate. He glances at Levi from the side of his eyes and there’s a small smile on his lips. He hasn’t seen that in a while.  
  
It breaks something in him.  
  
He’s not really surprised when his mouth absently makes it’s own way down to the Commander’s. He feels Erwin’s lips gape in a surprised ‘O’, but he doesn’t move away. Levi presses his lips to him a little more firmly, chasing their shape and warmth. It’s awkward and stiff and when Erwin pulls away with slightly red cheeks, Levi realises it did very little in the way of dousing the fire burning in his chest. He needs more.

He doesn’t apologise because any excuse he makes now will sound stupid, and he won’t insult Erwin by lying to him.

“I…was unprepared,” Erwin says, always diplomatic, always cordial.

Levi’s waiting for the moment when he will fully comprehend the weight of what he just did, of how it will change the dynamic between them, the hurt he’ll feel if Erwin rejects him. But it doesn’t come. he’s in this now, and it’s too late to take it back. All he feels is hope. and fondness. and lust. and maybe a little love.  
  
He grips Erwin’s chin softly, nudging it up, and when Erwin doesn’t pull away he knows they’re alright. “More,” he croaks with a smile. He dips down to kiss him again, loving the way Erwin closes his eyes before their lips even meet.


	91. Chapter 91

> [(x)](http://birbwin.tumblr.com/post/136528165156/erwonmyheart-levi-we-already-reached-the)

“You didn’t have to do that, you know.”  
  
“Hm?” 

He glances at Levi as they continue their walk down the empty corridor. The shadows cast from the torches on the walls flicker over the sharp angles of his face, making him look predatory.

“Berate me in front of the titan brat…” Levi looks away, and Erwin thinks he must be embarrassed.

“There was no point intimidating him from the onset. People are more co-operative when they’re not scared, Levi.”  
  
Levi snorts at that. “It’s about authority.”

“There’s time for that yet. In the future, don’t rehash things we’ve already decided on. It’s not impressive.” Levi doesn’t say anything, and Erwin knows he won’t do it again. He unlocks the door to his quarters and they step inside.

He’s just taken off his tie when he’s rudely pushed onto his bed, bouncing slightly from the fall. Levi kneels over him with a mischievous glint in his eye. He sits up on his elbows as Levi unzips his uniform pants, silently pulling out his cock.   
  
Levi’s eyes are focused on him, and when he licks some moisture into his chapped cherry-red lips, Erwin can’t help but ask for a kiss.  
  
“Maybe,” Levi says, insolent and sinuous all at once.  
  
“I knew - _ah -_ i knew you were embarrassed.” Levi pretends confusion as he continues giving him long, angry strokes.  
  
“Embarrassed over what.”  
  
“The scolding,” Erwin hisses, eyeing Levi’s calloused fingers as they glide roughly up and down his bulging length. “Regardless, it was subt - _nh fuck_ ”  
  
He closes his eyes and drops his head back as Levi teases his slit, narrow hips grinding into the thickness of his thigh, now.  
  
“You look so good…but you should stop talking.”  
  
“He’ll respect you -” Erwin grits, panting slightly. He’s wound up so tight he can’t help but gasp when Levi squeezes his balls. Levi dips down to kiss him, first on his lips, then on his neck.  
  
“Yes,” he whispers, kissing into the salty reservoir of Erwin’s throat. “And you will too.” He bites into the straining muscle of his neck and shoulder, glancing up at Erwin from the corner of his eyes.  
  
“Devil,” Erwin breathes, tensing up and spilling all over his uniform shirt.


	92. Chapter 92

 “A tea shop…”

Erwin repeats the words, tasting the sound of them, churning them out like a question. Then his eyes fold, his laughter smothered by the back of his palm.

Levi gapes stupidly. “I knew you were drunk,” he huffs. He’s mildly concerned now that Erwin might fall off the wall.

“I’m not – sorry. I can just imagine it. Would you…that’s very fitting.” He glances at Levi from the corner of his eyes and there’s a twitch of a smile on his lips. The shadows cast by the small fire lit between them make his dimples deeper and his sharps sharper. He is breathtaking.

“What about you, then?” Years together but he is still desperate to learn. Hungry for an education on this man. Erwin feeds him in scraps and he stores them like a needy scavenger bird would its paltry treasures.

Erwin hums, takes a sip of his allegedly non-alcoholic drink, scans the darkness ahead. He’s done that at least five times by now. They can’t see anything at this time of night – nothing except for whatever bits of landscape have been illuminated by merciful shards of moonlight. He knows Erwin is overlaying his own images onto the empty world beyond. “A writer,” he decides. “Or a teacher.”

“So…more jobs that require being hunched over a desk for hours on end. You must want to walk at a 45 degree angle when you’re old and moldy.”

Erwin grimaces and stretches, as though to reassure himself of his spine’s youth. “Hm, you would let me get moldy?”

Levi has to search his eyes because there’s something there that’s bordering playful and fuck if he knows what to do with it.

“No…I would take care of you,” he answers. He realises too late that it’s too serious, too alien in the face of their light banter. Too transparent.

_Fuck it._

There’s something about being up here in the quiet of the moment that makes him brave. Erwin makes him brave. He wonders what Erwin would do if he were to reach out, brush some blonde strands away from his face. He wants so badly to touch –

His fingers twitch and Erwin’s eyes snap to his hand like he can read his thoughts. His smile has faded, eyes black and heavy with calculation. Dark sapphire-blue wells. How many times has he fallen into them?

His heart constricts when Erwin looks away, lips sewn a little tighter than before. He rubs at the stub of his arm. “You’re good to me,” he says eventually. He forgot Erwin spooks like a deer.

Levi rubs his hands over his pants, heat rising to his face. He finally takes a sip of his own abandoned drink. It tastes like rejection and something else violent and bitter but he swallows it down anyway because he’s used to the taste. Maybe he likes it.

Erwin opens up the folder of paperwork on his lap, a trumpet heralding the end of their fun. He hates that fucking folder, the way Erwin carries it around everywhere like a shield. He gets the hint and allows Erwin to restore order by easing into the details of the next day’s plans. Levi nods along, plays the part. Buries the not so distant past.

That night, when he finally collapses into the scratchy embrace of his stiff bed linens, he wonders what kind of writer Erwin would be if he lived. If they won. Would Erwin write about him?

In the end, it didn’t matter, because Erwin had factored him into his future. He saw himself growing old with Levi, and that was enough.

He wraps his blanket around himself, feeling lighter than he had in months. He tucks the new found knowledge under his pillow and lets it carry him through another night. It was enough.

 

Thank you to seitsensarvi for the amazing art for this chapter!! ~~ <3

 


	93. Chapter 93

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous  
> If you're not busy could you maybe please write something about Erwin and Armin interacting in a non-romantic kind of way? :) i love you and your writing.. bye... ily

“Seems like you have a fan,” Levi murmurs quietly from beside him.

He knows exactly which face in the green sea of cloaks he’s referring to.

Armin Arlert is staring at him again. Erwin hasn’t quite figured out if it’s curiosity or admiration, but either way something about it unsettles him. Maybe it’s because of the boy’s expression, always so wide-eyed and responsive. Out of the new group, he looks the youngest.

He doesn’t even fight that well. His days are most likely numbered.

“Do you think it’s a problem?”

Levi glances over at Armin, who promptly looks away. “Probably not.”

* * *

Erwin soon learns that the boy is as intelligent as he lets on. Armin quickly grasps the logic behind his strategies and does well in decrypting the plan to and for his cohort.

One time, Erwin even had to stop him.

He’s not sure how he knew that Armin had seen through his orders. Maybe it was a feeling, or the expression that passed over his face when listening. Erwin saw the gears turn, meet, click. There was something about this boy.

He had probably grouped the knowledge of the expedition route from the map with Erwin’s wider goals. Armin was an asset but right now he needed to be controlled.

When the meeting ended, he asked him to stay back.

“The success of this expedition is contingent on everybody’s ignorance. I need to keep it that way. Do you understand?”

Armin all but withered and Erwin offered him a smile. “Do you trust me?”

Armin gaped. “Yes.” It was the most confident response he had ever teased out of him.

“I’ve heard remarkable things about you, Armin. You don’t fight well but your mind saved your comrades before you were even enlisted in the Corps. One day you may very well find yourself in my position.”

Armin blushed furiously. “I-I’m…I couldn’t be like you.”

“You could,” Erwin finished for him.

He sent the boy away with a pat to his shoulder, stars burning in his eyes.

* * *

“You should tell him heroes don’t exist,” Levi comments that night; voice low as he delivers sleepy strokes to Erwin’s half-hard cock.

“We’re not heroes, Erwin”

“I know.”

“And you shouldn’t get his hopes up…you know his chances are low.”

Erwin stretches, pulls Levi’s naked form closer to his chest.

“Probably.”

* * *

He grooms him for the bloodied throne of the Survey Corps anyway. It’s not like anyone else wants it.

Armin seems content just to be involved, to compensate for his weaknesses on the battlefield. It takes him weeks to stop the stuttering and nervous side eyeing but they’re able to work together now. Erwin likes telling him his theories. The conversation is pleasant.

Yet he still senses a sort of hesitance in him. A sort of reverence that keeps his tongue clasped tight.

“Let’s walk to town together,” he offers. The boy accepts the suggestion; face brightening like its been touched by the hand of God.

The walk is mostly silent as Erwin thinks of the right words to say.

“Would you say you have made a lot of mistakes, Armin?”

Something grim passes over his expression before he responds with, “I’d say so, yes.”

“Do you want to avoid another one?”

He looks up at him, confused.

“Trust me, Armin, but don’t idolize me. That is the worst mistake you can make.”

“I didn’t think…”

“Ultimately we all bleed and we all die. We all make mistakes that cost us sleep and sanity. You shouldn’t idolize anything except the ideas that take us one step forward. Do you understand?”

Armin nods, whispering a soft “sorry”.

Erwin buys him a pastry from town, tells him not to worry about it.

* * *

The next time Armin comes to his office, he has theories of his own to impart.

* * *

“So the brat actually talks to you now,” Levi comments, impressed. “Did you finally wipe the shit off his love-goggles? Or did he kick you off that pedestal himself after realizing that half your expeditions fail?”

Erwin clicks his tongue, taking Levi’s thin wrist and giving it a playful bite. “I simply employed your personal tactic of cleaning, foul toilet humor, and beatings in the mess hall.”

Levi gives a defeated snort. “None of that worked on Eren. He still thinks I’m a fucking superhero from some shitty novel.”

“Hypocrite.”

“Hey,” Levi warns, pulling on Erwin’s ear. “At least I don’t secretly enjoy it.”

Erwin hadn’t considered that. Is he flattered by Armin’s admiration? It had only ever burdened him. Another morsel of trust to take care of, another set of expectations. And from someone so young. It choked him in his sleep. All their hands were around his throat.

Levi seems to sense his thoughts, tilting his head up by his chin. “I don’t blame him,” he says quietly.

He kisses his hand in quiet thanks.

* * *

“Funny that,” Hange chirps. “Telling Erwin to stomp on his admirers. _You_ out of all people. Hilarious!”

Levi smiles despite himself. “I never denied being a hypocrite.”


	94. Chapter 94

Their decision to be together is far more natural yet much more awkward than he ever expected. But it is not surprising. Levi stands too far away for someone who has been dancing around him for years. Side-eyeing him for years. _Wanting_ him for years. What a bizarre time to stop his orbit.

“What now,” Levi asks. He’s leaning against the wall in Erwin’s office, his posture screaming non-chalance. Yet Erwin can see the smear of sweat his palm leaves behind. It glimmers in the sunlight.

“Why don’t you come over here,” Erwin says softly with an easy smile. He wants to say the rest with his hands, with his touch. With his thumbs across Levi’s cheeks.

Levi jolts like someone has pinched him. Like he’s only just realised what he’s agreed to. “Why?” he asks slowly. Suspiciously.

Erwin laughs, not moving from behind his desk. “Why do you think?” He sees Levi’s eyes scan his lips, notices the way he shuffles back a bit. “…have you changed your mind?”

Levi huffs quietly, almost coyly. “Don’t be stupid.” But his voice has lost some of its firmness.

Erwin stands up and rounds his desk. Levi’s eyes widen comically at the action and he would laugh if it weren’t cruel. “Levi,” he says carefully. He makes to embrace him but Levi puts a heavy hand against his chest.

“This is too fucking weird.”

“What?” Erwin asks. He’s a little injured now. The hand on his chest burns through his ribs.

“I can’t…right now.” He seems to notice Erwin’s expression, features pulled down tight. “Shit – sorry. I just need time. Fuck. _We’re_ gonna fuck. Shit.” He pulls his hand back now, trusting that Erwin will respect his space.

“Even I’m not thinking that far ahead,” Erwin provides awkwardly. He’s a little flushed now, too. He wonders if Levi had ever _really_ visualised them together intimately. Maybe he only desired Erwin as a hypothetical, some futuristic and vague ideal that dissipated as soon as reality threatened to realise it. It happened often in war. It was the proximity, most of the time.

His eyes don’t leave Levi’s face as he tries to make sense of it all.

“Stop staring at me,” Levi demands, irritated. The pull of his brows and the fight of his small frame make Erwin want to tuck him into his chest.

“Sorry,” he says stupidly instead. And what else is he to do when he is not to look nor touch?

He almost puts a hand on Levi’s shoulder before he thinks better of it and moves back behind his desk. He shucks off his uniform jacket and hangs it on his chair. He’s vaguely disappointed with this whole union. It’s incomplete and stiff and Levi is looking at him like he expected more too and, for once, Erwin doesn’t know how to rectify this.

“It’s natural to be overwhelmed. Especially with our ranks and situation in general…we can move forward once you’re more comfortable. There’s no rush,” he tries.

“Don’t be so formal,” Levi mutters. “You’re just making this weirder.”

Erwin says nothing over the taste of silver on his tongue. He says nothing when Levi leaves with a thin excuse about chores and duties. What a disaster.

It doesn’t take him long to accept that he’s too distracted for any work. He decides to take a personal day – he shaves, he bathes, scrubs at the skin of his chest like it will chafe away any memory of that morning. He mourns the death of a perfectly workable and professional relationship. He’s heavy with mental exhaustion by the time he drags himself to bed. He feels alien in his own skin.

He says nothing when Levi enters his room in the middle of the night and clambers into bed next to him. He tucks his body in a perfect fit against Erwin’s and it is far more natural yet much more awkward than he ever expected. But it is not surprising.

There’s a tentative press of small lips to his neck. They tremble and twitch against his throat as Levi wraps himself around him. Erwin lies limp, lets him do what he wants.

“There’s nothing weird about this…about you,” Levi says quietly. Erwin recognises the apology, as crooked and veiled as it is.

“I can’t see you,” Erwin smiles into his hair. Levi shudders when Erwin moves a hand up his back to settle in his hair. He inhales sharply when Erwin kisses his forehead.


	95. Chapter 95

“Forget your dreams and go to hell - take the new recruits with you. I’ll take care of the Beast Titan.” [(x)](http://fuku-shuu.tumblr.com/post/142398808847/shingeki-no-kyojinattack-on-titan-chapter-80)

He looked down at where Levi was kneeling. Kneeling like he had years earlier, the same body but now a different man. A different type of fire in his eyes. He burned for Erwin.

His chest expanded with a proud, bitter sob for everything that Levi had become but despite it all he smiled.

“I’ll die today,” Erwin said.

Something near them exploded into the air under the pelt of a boulder, but still Levi held his gaze. “Yes.”

Erwin gave a shaky exhale as he moved his hand onto Levi’s shoulder. In the midst of the chaos he could hear Levi breathe, slow, easy, calm. “Tell me this, Levi. After all is said and done…did you make the right choice?”

Levi reached up, put his hand over Erwin’s own. “I did… _Commander_.”

He felt himself smile again.

Levi walks him to his horse and watches silently as he mounts it. Erwin is just about to kick it into action when Levi reaches out and fists a hand in Erwin’s cape.

“Levi…?”                      

He gives Erwin a long, sad look that breaks his heart into shards. It says everything and nothing and all Erwin can do is rasp “I know.” Because he does know, how it feels to come so close, to become so close, to lose it all. Levi was here till the end and he’ll take that to his grave.

Levi lets go of his cape. “Good luck, Erwin.”

He walks away, just like that, and Erwin wonders if he is fighting not to look back.

But they have always been good at not looking back.

Erwin leads his soldiers in the attack and tries not to picture Levi leaping from titan to titan. A rock hits him somewhere and he tries not to think of Levi unsheathing his swords over the piercing sound of white oblivion. He slides off his horse and does not imagine what Levi’s face could have felt like in his hands.

He thinks of justice as his eyes close and death begins to pull at him and it leaves a smile on his face. He wonders if his dad will forgive him.


	96. Chapter 96

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i used 2 care about quality but now im like what's that

When it comes, winter is good to them. The cold gives Levi excuse to burrow under Erwin’s sweater and be held. It gives them incentive to walk down to the local café and scull more coffee than they should while Erwin reads from his book and Levi tucks his nose under his arm. Levi people-watches and makes snide comments to distract him and Erwin just shushes him gently, the arm around his middle coming to squeeze at his hip in warning.

Levi moves his hand to Erwin’s inner thigh and the man is lost. They scramble back to their apartment where Erwin pushes him onto the couch and shoves all his layers up to expose his stomach. Levi hisses at the cold and presses Erwin’s face into him a little more firmly when he starts to peck frenzied kisses into the gooseflesh spreading across his belly.

“How many coffees did you drink,” Erwin laughs, nipping at the firm, bloated pout of his stomach. “You have a coffee baby. If I popped you you’d probably explode four flat whites.”

“Had to do something while you ignored me,” he complains. Erwin takes him into his mouth and it’s apology enough.

They clean up and Levi stretches out on the couch whilst Erwin goes to change his clothes. He emerges in his oversized, daggy grey cotton pants complete with a matching sweater. The sight always makes Levi smile.

“Come here,” he orders, fond and wanting.

Erwin lies on top of him in a show of insolence and chuckles as his weight crushes Levi into the cushions. Levi curses but can’t deny he loves it, Erwin’s weight on him, his warmth, his smell. He’s heavy but it feels good. Like security. He secretly doesn’t want to move.

When he manages his way out from under him, Erwin kisses him, soft and sweet. He tastes like coffee. The apartment has heated up by now from the small fireplace nearby but still he weasels his way under Erwin’s sweater and pops his head through the collar, face pressed against his neck.

He takes in his scent – a bit of sweat mixed with cologne and something purely _Erwin_ , and it makes his gut pinch with content. “Happy winter,” he sighs.

Erwin kisses the cold tip of his nose before picking up his book and pressing Levi tighter into his chest.


	97. Chapter 97

She clenches down on him and it’s enough to have him gritting his teeth, his hand flexing wide around her neck.

“Erwin,” she sighs. Bliss. The air travels soft against the hot skin of his forearm. “Tell me you love me.”

He stops thrusting, eyebrows raised in bewilderment. In the silence, a bead of sweat escapes down his forehead. “What?”

“I know you don’t mean it, but just say it.” She says this with dead calm, even as she’s spread out, a slender leg held up against the length of his torso, small foot over his shoulder.

“Is that a kink or a fantasy?,” he asks, pained with the task of trying not to sink into her again, to respond to the hot pull of her sex.

“What,” she laughs, “is the difference? _”_

He must look too hesitant for her liking. “ _This_ is where you’d draw the line, really Erwin? Don’t be so sentimental. I’m sure your lover will understand.”

She’s right, he thinks, that this wouldn’t be the worst thing he’s done. For the Corps. For another chance. But whether Levi would understand is another issue. A shiver coils around the column of his spine and it has nothing to do with the tip of his cock nudging against her cunt.

“Do it or I won’t give you what you want,” she says leisurely.

He stills, considering her and his options, before pulling her towards him using her legs and dipping down low to her waiting lips.

He’s already come this far.

“ _…I love you_ ,” he whispers, low so that not even the walls can witness this kind of betrayal. They would crumble and fall on him in contempt.

He lets her kiss him and when she opens her mouth to him he pillages it with his tongue.

He re-enters her with a strong, angry thrust, his hips punishing now, each slide of his cock a spite-lined punch. She closes her eyes and lets him do his worst, fucked out, pushing back against him, strengthening her hold on him. She bites him hard wherever she can reach and he has to hold her head, a heavy palm familiar against her throat. He squeezes it, a scolding that leaves its mark in red fingers around her neck. She knows to never to leave evidence. _insolent_

They wage war with their bodies until he pulls out, coming hard on the pale flesh of her stomach. He licks her to completion and lets her clean up before getting dressed and waiting on the edge of her bed.

“Men are pathetic,” she says like an old, exhausted truism, placing a small folder in his hand.

He’s inclined to agree.

* * *

“About damn time. Where were you?” Levi asks, small frame leaning against their carriage.

“Just picking up a document,” Erwin replies, an easy smile on his lips as he tucks the folder under his arm.

Levi eyes the folder before opening the carriage door. “Well lets head back already. Hate these fucking nobles.”

“Me too,” Erwin replies, and follows. 


	98. Chapter 98

“Get in.” 

Officer Dok slides the gate of the holding cell open and pushes him forward. “Attaboy.”

He tumbles forward and only just manages to balance himself. “ _Fucker_ ,” Levi spits.

Officer Dok only glares at him as he locks the door and tucks a folder under his arm. “Someone will talk to you shortly, so take a seat and don’t cause a ruckus.”

Levi fits whatever he can of his head through the bars and watches Dok round the corner. He sighs before turning around to inspect the filthy metal bench that’s drilled into the wall.

Something shifts to his left and he starts; only now noticing there’s someone else in there with him. “Jesus fuck,” he breathes. He sees the suit pants and dress shirt before he sees the man’s face, hidden as he is in the darkest corner of the cell.

There’s a dark chuckle followed by a soft “sorry.”

Levi chooses to ignore the man in favour of wiping the bench with a tissue he had in his pocket. It’s not much but these are trying times.

“What are you in for?” the man asks, shifting so that his face shows in a bit of moonlight. He’s a dusty blonde with blue eyes and sharp features. Can’t be older than 35 or 40.

He looks so neat and out of place that Levi can’t help but wonder why he’s in here. Still, he’s equipped with enough street smarts to know not to get cute with random people in jail cells.

“Took a shit on someone’s lawn,” he lies, taking a seat. Hopefully the man will be just disgusted enough not to pursue any more conversation.

“Oh? I hope you had toilet paper.”

Levi snorts and folds his arms over his chest, looking out at the splotchy beige walls beyond the cell bars. He’s aware of the man’s gaze burning into him but refuses to meet his eyes.

“What’s your name?”

He sighs into his hands before taking an irritated breath. “Joseph,” he answers.

“Two fibs in a row. You must be a compulsive liar.”   
  
Levi gapes a little and the man smiles like he has it all figured out.

“Why don’t you mind your own damn business, _Tristan.”_

“My name is Erwin.”

“Christ, that’s even worse.”

The man laughs and Levi shifts uncomfortably. They don’t talk for a long while, and Levi is relieved until he gets bored. He risks a glance over at Erwin, studying his face while the man reties his shoe laces.

He can’t deny he’s not a bad looking guy.

“What are _you_ in for?” he asks eventually, tentatively.

Erwin seems surprised by the initiation. “Guess.”

Levi quirks a brow, but decides that perhaps there’s little harm in indulging him. “Something white collar and lame, probably. What did you do, break Wall Street?”

“That’s cute,” Erwin says, and Levi frowns.

“Tax evasion.”

“Wrong.”

“Embezzlement.”

“No.”

Levi hums to himself. “You’re probably a racist then,” he decides. “Got shitfaced at the bar after work and harassed a little old black lady in the street.”

Erwin seems amused. “I assure you, I did not drunkenly harass any person of colour.”

“Probably still a racist,” Levi muttered.

“That’s unfair.”

“You sexually assaulted someone then, didn’t you. Sick fuck.” He’s getting into this now.

“I enjoyed the white collar crime speculations far more than this.”

“So you admit it.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Fistfight?”

“No.”

“Drug ring.”

“Never.”

It’s only just occurring to him that this guy could actually be a serious pervert. He suddenly feels far less safe than before, and a little foolish for fucking around with someone he doesn’t know.

It’s always the normal looking ones that want to skin you and slurp soup from your bone marrow. He has cable and he’s seen those documentaries _thank you very much_.

Erwin scoots a little closer to talk and Levi instinctively shuffles back on the bench, hands at the ready.

“What’s all this chitter-chatter,” bellows Dok, who appears at the door of the holding cell. He scowls at Levi before eyeing Erwin, smirking suddenly as if he’s just remembered something comical. “How you holding up in here, Smithy?”

“Just fine,” Erwin sighs.   
  
“Making friends with this little piranha? A pathetic way to spend the night, if you ask me.”

“Fuck off, pig.”  
  
“Says the one on shift,” Erwin replies easily, stretching one long leg out over the other.

“As are you,” Nile responds with a smile. “Technically.”

Levi raises an eyebrow, confused yet curious all at once.

“Nile, don’t you want to go home to your wife already? Let’s end this silly bet a couple of hours early and I’ll take over the night watch for you. Honestly, it’s getting stale.”

“You’re a cop?” Levi bursts. Erwin eyes him but says nothing.

“Mike said you’d try that,” Nile hums, ignoring Levi completely as he swings his keys in one hand. “Don’t try to outdrink him next time. You have three hours left with the street rats of this shitty city before I can let you out. No easy way out Smith, sorry.”

He walks away, hips swaying with easy triumph, leaving them alone once more.

“So,” Erwin begins awkwardly, eyeing Levi again, “would you like to hear your rights?”

“I fucking hate cops,” Levi sighs.


	99. Chapter 99

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> itserwinsmith said:  
> prompt: Erwin in his office at night consumed by guilt (eruri welcome). just destroy me

He slides his finger along the sharp edge of the knife in his drawer – slowly, so slowly – he can feel its tiny pointed teeth catch on his skin as it travels along.

It’s _grotesque_ , really.

It’s grotesque how he could do it right _now_ – plunge it into the miserable hollow of his throat – except his life isn’t his own anymore. He exchanged it for the loyalty and trust of his soldiers and now he can do nothing but keep fighting, keep pushing forward. He is in debt to them.

He would never do it. But he is tired.

Erwin smiles, mouth a twisted and wretched curve, because how pathetic and fraudulent must a man be to find comfort in death when his job is to fight for life.

“What are you doing.”

Erwin glides the drawer shut quickly, cutting his finger in the process. The knife had been a gift from Levi but it had long ago become a thing of torment.

He discretely presses the bloodied finger into the fabric of his pants under his desk. “Working.”

He smiles easily when Levi eyes him suspiciously. “No need to look so disbelieving Captain,” he chuckles.

“You didn’t even hear me come in.”

“I’m admittedly a bit distracted today.”

“You were smiling.”

Erwin thins his lips. “I had a fond memory,” he lies.

“Were you about to jerk off or something?”

“What? No.”

“Creep,” Levi mutters, dragging a chair next to his. “Let’s get to these reports. Hand me that folder.”

Erwin considers his predicament. He only has one hand. And that hand is stained with evidence of an internal battle Levi should never have knowledge of.

“Do you mind making us some tea first? It will be a long night.”

Levi eyes him for a while, then his gaze flickers to the drawer.

“Okay…Erwin…”

He stands up slowly, skepticism shaping his movements as he pushes the chair away and walks to the door. He gives Erwin a final glance as he slips out and clicks the door shut behind him.

Erwin locks the drawer and pockets the key. Then he wraps his finger, and it looks like a small corpse. He thinks about all the soldiers that didn’t get the luxury of bandages or burial over their blood-sticky dismembered bodies.

It’s like that in the corps - mundane tasks triggering the most traumatic and violent of thoughts. It was just part of the job.

By the time Levi comes back with two tea cups, wisps of steam spiraling enticingly above the tray in his hand, Erwin has stored the guilt in the back of his mind, tightly packaged and ready for the next night.


	100. Chapter 100

He pulls away from Erwin’s soft lips with a low, trembling breath. A reverent exhale that hits Erwin soft and sweet. Levi’s cheeks are burning up to his ears. His lower lip tingles.

Erwin is looking at him again in that way that he does and so he tucks his head into his neck. A chuckle rumbles above him. A large hand finds the small of his back.

“Still, Levi?”

They had both been surprised by his coyness. Two weeks after confession and they had done nothing but kiss gently like gangly virgin cadets behind the supply building.

Levi was experienced. But this was _Erwin._

He could handle Erwin in all his forms on the regular day, but his touch – foreign and surreal - still overwhelmed him. Erwin let him decide the pace. He was a good man.

“You…do this often?” Levi evades. Either he’s had so many romantic partners that sloppy kissing no longer excites him, or the intensity of his feelings does not match Levi’s own.

Erwin brings a prying hand between them and tilts Levi’s chin up and away from his newfound hiding place. “Why do you ask?”

Levi looks down in thought, letting Erwin admire the long points of his lashes. A patient thumb brushes along his cheekbone. “You’re so unfazed by all this,” he speaks honestly, frowning without realising.

“Is that what you think?”

Levi meets his eyes now, feeling foolish. “I get it. We’re not brats anymore. And you’re… _you_.” He gestures vaguely between them as though the swish of his hand explains Erwin and all that he is. “I just thought you would have been more fucked up by this too.”

Erwin begins to silently unbutton his uniform shirt, and Levi’s pulse quickens. His bare chest is slowly exposed, and Levi gapes wider and stupider with every pop of a button.

“Hey - ”

“Shh, Levi. I’ve got you.” He cradles the back of Levi’s head with a ready palm and brings their lips together again, Erwin’s slow yet firm and wanting and Levi is melting.

Then Erwin is taking Levi’s hand in his own and bringing it up to his chest. He slips it underneath his shirt, placing Levi’s hand over his heart. Levi feels it thump frantically against his sweaty palm and he has to pull away to look onto the scene with wide eyes.

“I’d hardly call that unfazed,” Erwin comments quietly.

“Yeah,” Levi breathes. He moves his hand, his fingers trailing lovingly, before pressing a small kiss right above Erwin’s heart. He lets his lips linger a while – forehead pressed to his chest now – overwhelmed and endeared to hell and back by the way that Erwin’s heartbeat knocks against his lips each time. “Shit,” Levi laughs.


	101. Chapter 101

He pays for his gas and walks back to the car, ducking into the driver’s seat. He throws a bag of goodies in some vague direction to his right.

Contrary to what he expected, Levi doesn’t immediately bitch about the subpar choice of snacks now tossed onto his lap. Instead, he thumbs the plastic bag quietly.

Something is amiss. 

“What did you do,” Erwin asks suspiciously. 

“ _Shit_ , Erwin. _Nothing_. Why do you always think I’ve done something?” Levi huffs. Erwin doesn’t miss the way he gives a nervous glance behind him to the door of the petrol station.

“Many, many painful experiences,” Erwin answers curtly, dragging his leg into the car and snapping the door shut. He starts the engine and they’re on the road again. Only six more hours to go, a fact which wouldn’t have been so daunting had Levi not been so…so… _Levi-esque._

In just the first three hours of their road trip Levi had already destroyed his ipod (’ _what a shitty, senile playlist’),_ hurled abuse at several unsuspecting pedestrians, and unsuccessfully tried to give Erwin an under-the-wheel hand job that almost got them killed. Not to mention the many tireless complaints that filled up the time in between those chaotic events. ‘ _Nile’s beard grows faster than you drive ’_

Erwin sighs and gives him a quick glance with some sneaky side eyes. Looking at Levi now, some time later, small and quiet and gazing out onto the road, he feels bad. With Levi pacified, the car feels much bigger. It’s amazing how much space Levi consumes when he’s…talking.

Against his better judgement he decides he misses it. Maybe it was an unfair accusation after all. “Hey,” he tries softly, threading his fingers into Levi’s. “You alright?”

“No.” Levi says absently. Erwin’s eyes flick from the road to Levi’s face, cold concern brewing in his chest.

“…you got shitty snacks.”  
  
Erwin rips his hand back with a huff and a scowl. “You worried me.”

“Good,” Levi smirks.

Left hand firm on the wheel, Erwin uses his right to pull at Levi’s hair in playful punishment. That’s when he glimpses a truck in his review mirror. 

Come to think of it, it had been tailing him for a while. 

That’s when it all clicks. The silence. the nervous glance.

“Levi…that truck driver behind us…”

Levi looks up to the review mirror, features stoic. The truck driver has rage burning in his eyes, his hands gripping the steering wheel with brute force. They watch calmly as he shakes a red fist at them.

“Hm,” Levi says, “didn’t think he’d catch up to us”, and drops back into his seat. He peels open a muesli bar and takes a small bite.

“I take it we will not be making a rest stop anytime soon,” Erwin says irritably.

“Not advisable.”

Levi offers him a bite of his bar, muesli-filled chipmunk cheek grating away, eyes wide and innocent, and Erwin hates how much he loves him.


	102. Chapter 102

“You…have a hair out of place,” Levi comments. He licks his palm and leans over Erwin’s desk, smooths it down.

“Oh,” Erwin says intelligently, mouth gaping just the slightest bit. “Thank you.” He also runs a hand over his hair, patting down whatever dared to rebel against the militant hold of his pomade.

“Sure,” Levi grunts, dropping back down into his own chair. “It was shitting me.”

“I can imagine,” Erwin chuckles sympathetically. Levi snorts.

It’s another hour of relative silence when Erwin feels eyes on him. He looks up from his report to find Levi gazing at the top of his forehead.

“It’s that fucking hair,” Levi says in way of explanation.

“Just ignore it. I don’t have any pomade here.”

“…alright.”

Twenty minutes. Twenty minutes of paper work is achieved and Levi is eyeballing him again. Erwin pushes out his chair from under his desk, stalks over to the door. “I’ll be back.”

Erwin comes back and his hair is a wet mess, waves of blond curling and crashing in all directions. Levi groans into his hands. The one dissenting strand was cute enough on its own. It was enough to drive him stupidly inattentive. Now he had to suffer this.

“I thought this would be preferable,” Erwin says sadly. He’s not sure where he went wrong.

“It’s fine,” Levi barks.

He thinks of blonde locks between his fingertips, twirling and teasing them into ringlets. Playing with his hair until his long fingers spread out and traverse the terrain of Erwin’s scalp. Would he fall asleep?

It’s not fine.

“I’m going to work in my quarters,” Levi huffs. 

Erwin grants him leave. The next time he buys pomade, he purchases a spare for his office.


	103. Chapter 103

He hears his heels clipping loudly against the floor before he even sees him. His shoulders are more rigid than usual, his eyes harder. A folder is tucked tight under his arm, pinched at the middle.

Levi unfolds his arms and pushes off the wall, falling in line behind Erwin as he silently fiddles with the lock. There’s no apology for being late, not even a greeting. He’s angry.

“Lock that door behind you,” Erwin demands, dropping the folder roughly onto his desk. His arm twists his behind his back, trying to unbuckle his gear.

Levi makes to assist him but is stopped by Erwin’s large palm waving him away. “I can do it myself.”

“Alright,” Levi grumbles, falling onto the couch. He watches Erwin struggle with the gear for what feels like hours. “Is it hurting you again?” he guesses cautiously.

Erwin yanks at a buckle, and the last of the belts slip to the floor in one satisfying heap. He rubs the end of his stump, frown deepening the more he feels around its disfigured edges. “No.”

Levi watches as he rounds his desk and gets started on paperwork. “I don’t have much use for you tonight. I’ve got it all under control. You can retire to your quarters. Dismissed.”

There’s a hot pinch of realisation in his chest – the realisation that Erwin is hurting, and that the sight of Levi is not a comfort.

“Who shoved a blade up your ass,” Levi drawls, the sting of rejection making him petty. He doesn’t want Erwin to _want_ to be alone. He wants him to confide in him, to draw him closer, to seek counsel in him.

Levi,” Erwin warns, that no-nonsense tone quickly allied with the formidable pull of his brows, his burning gaze that says _don’t test me_.

“Why don’t you just _tell_ me what’s wrong instead of brooding like some constipated old fuck.”

Erwin slams his hand down on his desk, papers shifting minutely from the force. “What _isn’t_ wrong Levi,” he rumbles. “Everything is wrong. We have no funding; we have no equipment. Hange’s experiments aren’t producing results. We have an expedition in a week and I’ve been called into the interior for more time wasting politics. We don’t even have enough horses for every -”

“You’re bleeding.”

“What?” Erwin runs a hand over the back of his head. His palm returns covered in blood. “Oh,” he says, irritated.

Levi is there in an instant, bending Erwin’s head down and inspecting the cut. “How did this happen?”

“Ah – I think a townsperson threw a rock at me earlier. It’s fine. Leave it -”

“What the fuck, Erwin - why didn’t you mention it?” And more importantly, how didn’t Levi notice?

“I forgot. It must have healed and then opened up again.”

It’s ridiculous, and yet Levi knows he’s telling the truth. His chest aches.

“Idiot,” Levi sighs. “Let me clean it up again. You did a lousy job.” He lets his fingers linger over the back of Erwin’s head a beat too long before pulling away.

Erwin catches his hand, spinning him around slowly. He looks beyond exhausted. “Levi,” he sighs. “I shouldn’t have lost my temper at you just then, that’s…it’s not impressive. I’m sorry.”

Levi glances down to where Erwin’s hand circles around his wrist. The blood is still wet. “A day like this is bound to make you bitchy,” he offers in consolation.

Erwin takes it, smiling softly. “I think…I’m just tired.” He pulls his hand back.

Levi wets a towel and mops up the blood on his palm, dragging the material over and through his fingers thoroughly. He patches up the wound and wipes over his neck. It wasn’t the first time Erwin had gotten into this mood, no. But it was the first time he allowed Levi to give something close to physical comfort. “You look like shit,” he finishes. “Go to bed.”

Erwin runs his hand over his face and up through his hair. It sticks up in all directions and Levi fights the urge to pat it down. “I think…yes, I think I will. Thank you.”  
  
“I’ll check on you in a couple of hours,” he promises. “The wound…I mean. You might be concussed.”

“Yes, I’d appreciate that.” He grins at Levi like the suggestion was a gift.

He leaves Erwin to change and sleep, padding back to his own quarters.

Once inside, he drops down into his own chair, fingers tracing over the dried blood on his wrist. A shudder travels up his spine and he swallows down bile.


	104. Chapter 104

“ _Come to my office_.”

Blunt. Well, blunter than usual. Something must be wrong. He minimises outlook and slides his chair back with a long sigh.

He shuts the door behind him and walks down the hallway, two –no – three doors down to Erwin’s office. He doesn’t bother knocking, just barges in violently like he has news of the antichrist.

“Jesus,” Erwin wheezes. He’s still not entirely desensitised to Levi’s rude intrusions.

“Is still safe in heaven,” Levi slurs. “What do you want?”

Erwin leans back into his chair and sighs sadly. “Look at this,” he says, waving a hand at his monitor.

Levi rounds the desk and leans over him to see the website open on his browser. He’s on ratemyprofessor.com, looking at reviews for ‘Professor Erwin Smith’.

He squints at a comment left by **SinnerUniversity:**  

“ _NICEST MOOBS!! MMmm 10/10 would recomend his class ;)_ ”

Levi snorts loudly. “You marked your email _high importance_ for this shit? How did you even find -”

“Keep reading,” Erwin commands. His arms cross over his chest protectively.

Levi scrolls down.

 ** _jeanbo_** **:** _“Smith looks like the type of guy that takes a dump right after showering. Gives me the heebie jeebies. Has resting asshole face and marks way too fucking hard! FUCK HIST1001 DON’T TAKE IT IF YOU DON’T HAVE TO.”_

“Oh my god,” Levi honks, “the shower thing, so tru-”

“I do not!” Erwin protests petulantly.

 **armean:** “ _He can be a bit intimidating at first, but he’s really not that bad. The course is manageable if you do all the readings. He prefers to assign big essays rather than give homework, so there’s no useless homework. I know most people take his class just because he’s hot but he’s a delightful speaker and I’ve genuinely enjoyed his class!”_

**_C0nnie:_ ** _“scariest damn guy! But probs not that bad tbh. I failed his class he marks pre hard.”_

**_Mez:_ ** _“Professor smith is so hot!! I couldn’t stop fantasising about him banging me during office hours.”_

Levi fails to hide his amusement as he scrolls down, gobbling up all 15 horrible comments.

“Do you see my predicament,” Erwin states seriously from behind him. “I’m failing to connect to the younger generation. They objectify and mock me.”

“And all because of that pretty face,” Levi coos with faux-sympathy, turning around and giving a little jump to sit on the desk. Erwin rolls forward on his chair and plants his hands on Levi’s hips. Levi huffs a small laugh when Erwin buries his face into his sweater. He brushes back his hair tenderly.

Then Erwin surfaces with a wicked grin. “Let’s look you up.”

Levi grabs his wrist as it goes for the mouse. “Let’s not.” Erwin does it anyway.

 **My-kasa6:** _“Tiny satan walking amongst men. Women miscarriaged and volcanos exploded when this guy was born. Honestly, FUCK Ackerman – he’s so strict he has a pole up his ass. Doesn’t let you into the room if you’re over 5 minutes late and is militant about it! He even failed my friend for submitting his assessment two minutes late. 1 star!”_

“Tiny satan,” Erwin rasps. “Oh look, this person left you a review as well.”

 ** _jeanbo_** _:_ _“what the fucks up with this dude? Sometimes In class he’d get so angry I thought his mouth was gonna split open and some smaller version of himself was gonna crawl out and eat us all like in alien. Does he even sleep at night? Probably stays up consuming the SOULS of students to stay young.”_

Levi feigns indifference, crossing one leg over the other. “Probably just some brat I failed. Like I give a shit.”

“Ackerman is one of those academics that punishes his students to feel validated because his own career is probably sinking like a shithole,” Erwin narrates loudly, voice neat and professional. “I hope he steps on lego.”

“That’s all there is – oh no, there’s one more.”

_**Yameermi** : “eye bags so big you could go grocery shopping with them.”_

“Rude little shits,” Levi huffs, posture straightened with agitation. “This is why I hate teaching. If I got paid enough just to research, I’d never want to see any of those snotty little fucks again.”

“Mm,” Erwin hums in agreement. “This website seems rather useless. It appears that only the severely disgruntled come here to leave a review.”

“Yeah, it’s a waste of time.”

Erwin nods. “Agreed.”

There’s a beat of silence.

“So…do we look up Hange or Nile next?” Levi asks.

Erwin grins at him. “Definitely Hange.”


	105. Chapter 105

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think this is the first ever time ive written levi's 'tch' wow

An apple locked between his teeth, two slices of plain bread in one hand and a hot cup of tea in the other. This is how Levi finds him at three in the morning, hunched back rummaging through the kitchen like a starved trainee. Downright undignified.

“Thought there might be a big animal pilfering food in here,” Levi drawls.

Erwin whips around at the voice. His mouth is busy and so he smiles at Levi with his eyes. He’s a sight with his bare legs and loose pajamas, black hair slightly ruffled from a futile flirt with sleep. It’s rare he doesn’t slumber in his uniform.

Levi takes a few steps forward, plucks the apple out of Erwin’s mouth like he’s pulling out a plug. He grimaces at the string of saliva that extends from the meat of the fruit to his lips. If only it were Levi connected at the other end, Erwin thinks.

He wipes his wet, wanting mouth on his sleeve. “I’m starved,” he explains.

Levi sighs, frowns. “What happened to the food I left on your desk earlier? You let it go to shit again, didn’t you?”

Erwin winces ruefully. “Yes, I’m sorry. I got caught up.” He places his bread and tea down on the table next to him, rids his hands of crumbs.

“You need to take care of yourself, Erwin. Look at you. An apple and some bread.” Levi gestures to the table. “Do you think that’s impressive? You’re an idiot.”

“Hardly the way to speak to your Commander,” Erwin scolds with faux-annoyance. He likes this, being playful with Levi.

“Act like a Commander and I’ll start treating you like one.”

“Somehow I doubt that,” Erwin laughs.

“Tch.”  

Silence. Always a silence, always at night. Levi has a way of finding him like this. It leaves him aching, leaves him wondering what could be if only…

Erwin sighs. He grips Levi’s chin – small peach of a chin – between his fingers. “Go to sleep,” he whispers.

Levi eyes glaze over dangerously, lock with his own. He raises the apple – still in his palm – to his mouth, right where Erwin had bitten. He takes a bite. There’s a small, sinful bob of his throat as the morsel travels down. Then he promptly shoves the apple back into Erwin’s mouth. “Okay, Erwin.”

Erwin releases his chin. Levi doesn’t look over his shoulder as he pads out of the kitchen, disappears into the night.

Erwin stands dumbfounded, tongue traversing the small, bitten groove in the apple. He can taste the remnant spittle from Levi’s mouth.


	106. Chapter 106

“Commander, the area has been secured.”

Erwin nodded. “Good, then we’ll sleep here for the night. Tell everyone not to loiter after eating dinner and to rest up. And tell Ness and Moblit that they’re on first watch.”

The soldier thumped a scratched-up fist against her heart. “ _Sir_.”

At the sight of her skittering off, feet made quick by the urgent call of duty, Erwin turned around. He made his way towards the nearby forest, wisps of its belly glowing with the falling sun.

He counted the seconds. One…five…ten. And, _ah -_ Levi fell behind him in a soft, loyal trot.

Nature crunched under their boots as Erwin made his way into the thick of the trees, the earthy smell of mysterious plants and rotting wood settling in his nostrils. When he felt like they were reasonably far away enough he stopped, examining the trees.

“What, are you going to sniff them for someone else’s scent first?” Levi huffed. “They’re all the same, just pick one.”

Erwin picked a tree. “Might I remind you,” he began as he pulled down his zipper and looked ahead at the peeling bark, “that you have never been obligated to do this.” He fished himself out, relieving himself with a sigh.

Levi, a safe tree or two away, a water flask tucked under his arm, rested his back against the groaning bark of an old oak. He was careful to mind Erwin’s privacy – _refined_ as he is – and looked down at the ground. His eyes narrowed in on the various critters busy at work in their own chaotic world.

“Right – and when a titan abruptly appears you’re going to fight it with your dick out, are you? What a glorious way for the commander of the survey corps to die.”

Erwin laughed, a loud sort of mannish chuckle that rung over the crude sound of his piss hitting against the tree. “I would hear it before it got to me, Levi.”

“You can never be too sure.” Levi peeled himself off the tree and stood up straight, standing alert and ready like a watchdog. He shot paranoid glances at anything that rustled.

Erwin finished, shaking himself of any remnant drops just for good measure.

“Oi, you’d better wash yourself,” Levi knowingly growled from a few meters away.

Erwin looked over his shoulder to where Levi stood in a wisp of dying light – his face glowing so brightly that his features became imperceptible.

“Well bring the flask here, then,” he said.

Levi came over.

As usual, Erwin held out his hands for him like a scolded child forced to wash up. He watched Levi open the flask and pour water over them, his eyes straining and militant with the weight of the task.

He absolutely does not look at Erwin’s cock, which – as usual – peeked out of his pants rudely. Loudly.

With clean hands, Erwin took the flask from Levi and used the last of the water to wash along his soft length. He tucked himself in and pocketed the flask to wipe down later.

“Thank you Levi,” he grinned. “I appreciate you going above and beyond your duties.”

“Oh kiss my ass,” Levi grumbled. He turned around and made back towards the camp. Erwin followed after him with a high laugh that rose to the canopies above.

 


	107. Chapter 107

/text dump; 4am fluff; inspired by [that thing](http://oh-no-i-did-it.tumblr.com/post/137742200453) i love/

Contrary to popular belief, Erwin does not get Sundays off. A lazy morning tumble in sun-warmed sheets is the most they get before Erwin is scooting off to his computer, preparing for the next day’s events. It’s dull and depressing but it has to get done.

And so Levi’s Sunday ritual is a tea and tv.

He watches anything and everything, from _Alien Apocalypse_ to _Unlikely Animal Friends_ to that one Turkish show dubbed in arabic. He doesn’t even understand arabic, but he watches it anyway. He’s even come to pick up a few words.

(He can say ‘ _is that another man’s child_?’ and ‘ _you have no honour_!’)

Levi is asleep on the couch by six, most Sundays. And like most Sundays, guilt eventually flushes Erwin out of his office. He exchanges one dim light for another – from the unbroken constant of his monitor to the spasmodic flash of the tv screen.

But today he gives up early (‘just a quick break’) and he’s fortunate enough to catch Levi right before he falls. His eyelids are heavy and drooping, remote lax in his hand, small body tangled in their knit mustard throw. The tv is a low hum in a dark room.

“Hey,” Erwin smiles, padding over to the couch and sitting near Levi’s feet. He leans over his body to press a set of sloppy kisses against his cheek. “What’s going on?”

Levi gestures at the tv lazily, eyes never leaving the screen. “Snails.”

Erwin tucks a lock of black hair behind his ear affectionately. A glance at the tv says _Nat Geo Wild_. Snails indeed. “Oh? What are they doing?”

“Surfing. T’get to a carcass on th’beach. They have a flap so they can ride the wave.”

Erwin kisses and nuzzles at his neck. Levi stretches, content, and gives a great yawn which dies in his throat when Erwin nips at a ticklish spot behind his ear.

“Fuck – cut it out,” Levi says, pawing at Erwin’s face. But he’s smiling and when Erwin drops down for a proper kiss, he obliges.

“I missed you,” Erwin sulks. He climbs onto the couch to settle behind Levi, who promptly turns around to tuck against his chest.

“We should nap,” Levi offers.

“We should make dinner,” Erwin corrects.

“You’re _still_ hungry? I know you were eating junk food from your drawer in there. Do you actually think you’re quiet?”

“Ah is that why you’re still awake, _pop_?”

“Fuck off,” Levi laughs. He takes Erwin’s hand and intertwines their fingers. “ _Noor_ is coming on soon. Watch with me?”

He hates Sundays – _cruel_ Sundays – for teasing him like this, with Levi in the next room. An eternal distraction. Levi holding his hand, looking up at him with bright black eyes. Levi who has arrested his mind and heart, who takes his sanity and returns it in small bursts when it pleases him. “Alright,” Erwin agrees. Because how can he not.

Levi kisses his jaw, his eyelid, rubs at the small potato crisp-fed bulge of his stomach. “Is that another man’s child?” he quips in clumsy arabic, hand roaming over his shameful food baby.

Erwin smothers his smirk with a large, salty palm and threatens to go back to his laptop if he doesn’t behave.


	108. Chapter 108

“You met all the mission’s objectives…and without a single death or injury.”

Levi rested against Erwin’s desk, arms crossed tight against his chest. Little pearls of water sprung from the barbed tips of his hair and fell onto the floor. “My squad’s good,” he explained with a shrug.

Erwin observed the small puddles on the floor and let out a sigh. Levi freshly showered always stirred something within him. His hair was darker wet, his face paler.

He moved to sit on the edge of his bed. “Come here,” he said, patting his lap. He wanted nothing more than to hold him, to feel him alive and whole.

Levi eyed him skeptically, the tip of his nose raised. After a few seconds he gave a little jump up and onto the desk, scooting backwards until he was comfortably seated. He looked at Erwin, bright eyed and amused at his own insolence.

Cheeky.

“ _Levi_ ,” Erwin tried to warn. It sounded more like pleading.

Levi remained perched on Erwin’s desk, stubborn and beautiful and smelling of rosewater. He silently poked around with some of the papers near him, pretending to be interested.

“Is that how it is?” Erwin said, exhaling loudly as if burdened. And what a fine actor he was. He promptly got up and walked towards Levi, his heels clipping loudly on the floor.

At the sight of him approaching Levi crossed one leg over the other and turned his head, baring the radiant flesh of his neck. He pretended to consider the bookshelf near him, all the while knowing that he was setting Erwin on fire, lighting him up from the inside out. “You didn’t meet me at the gate,” Levi grumbled.  
  
 _Ah -_

Erwin paused with his hands fresh on Levi’s hips, wondering suddenly if this was more than just play.

“I knew you would come back in one piece,” he offered, pressing an apologetic kiss onto his neck.  _That neck,_  God, it made his head spin. 

Levi dropped his head back slightly, a reluctant invitation for more some more affection. He had room to forgive.

“I’m so sorry, Levi. I had so much work to do and I wasn’t sure when you would be back. You  _were_ three days late, you know.” He pressed another kiss to Levi’s throat. “I waited as long as I could - ”

“Alright, don’t shit yourself,” Levi huffed, turning his head and facing him now. Erwin nipped at his throat again and he thread his fingers into Erwin’s hair. “But you’d better make it up to me.”

“I intend to,” Erwin assured. He sealed his promise with a wet kiss, his fingers already working at the button of Levi’s pants. Once stripped Levi leant back and rested on his elbows, watching Erwin atone with long, rough strokes at his cock.

“You’re incredible,” Erwin sighed. Always sighing, always for Levi. Levi bit his lip to keep quiet.

When the pleasure got too much - wound him up too tight - he bent forward like something burning and curling at the edges, crying out and holding onto Erwin. He buried his head into his neck, anchoring himself with a bite to his flesh. Erwin grit his teeth, tasting something like blood from the shot of pain. He pushed through.

“You did so well,” Erwin whispered, kissing at whatever he could reach of Levi’s nape. “ _So_  well,” he repeated. “I’m so proud of you.” He mumbled and kissed his praise into Levi’s ear, into his skin, into any part of him that would hear it. All the while Levi’s hair continued to weep all over his shirt. He shuddered when Levi detached himself from his neck and breathed hot air over the wet patches on the broad of his shoulders.

“Wait for me…next time,” Levi grit as Erwin picked him up – fingers digging deep into his cheeks - and placed him onto the bed, wasting no time in crowding over him.

Erwin spread his legs wide, pleased with the way Levi’s ankles locked at the small of his back and pushed him forward, hurried him to his task. “I will,” he promised, groaning at the sight of Levi’s hole – glistening and ready. Already prepared for its reward. It twitched under the weight of his eyes.


	109. Chapter 109

A cold wind blew and sucked upon the Commander’s cape. His neck – thick, gooseflesh bitten neck - bent forward slightly, rigid. Almost stubborn. He would not look back, not at him or his tattered soldiers.

Levi follows behind quietly on his horse. Its slow trotting makes him restless, makes his gut gurgle with anticipation. Somewhere in the throngs lining the street, someone hurls a rock at Erwin. It hits his arm and tumbles to the ground. “Butcher!” they yell.

Erwin puts up a hand before Levi can even think to react, grounding him in his saddle. Levi obeys, but still he will not look at him. There is no small, ritual smile over his shoulder.

 _It’s not worth it, Levi,_ he tells himself instead.

Even back at the base - washed, fed and settled - Erwin retires to his quarters without a word.

It bothers him.

A lot.

Hange drops down next to him in the mess hall, their bowl full of the same tasteless sludge he’d absently been eating. “You should have just listened,” they say. There’s a rare lack of bounce in their tone.

A cold chill travels up his spine, making him agitated. He knows he fucked up but what’s the wisdom in pointing out the obvious?

“I know what the fuck I’m doing,” he bites, pushing his plate aside and standing up. He bounds up the greying staircase and lingers guiltily outside of the familiar old door – closed and uninviting. He imagines its bolted shut to keep him out.

Well, there was nothing to it. If Erwin wanted to give him the silent treatment, he’d just shatter it himself. Did he think he was the only stubborn bastard to walk these halls?

His hand pauses on the knob. He can make out some voices inside – Mike, and Erwin. His ear presses against the wood, softly so as not to trigger a creak.

“ – my orders.”

There’s a silence. Then Mike’s muffled voice. He hears the words ‘mistake’, and ‘promotion’.

A sigh.

“ - don’t know. He needs-”

There’s a sinking feeling in his chest as he realises they’re talking about him. Erwin is ignoring him and talking about him.

Levi leaps into the shadows when Mike abruptly makes to leave. He clicks Erwin’s door shut behind him, takes one step forward, then sniffs the stale air suspiciously.

It takes three whiffs for him to find Levi hidden in the darkness around the corner. 

“ _What_ ,” Levi spits when Mike looks down at him, unimpressed.

“He’s not in the mood,” Mike says knowingly, voice quiet yet stern. Levi had forgotten just how loyal the rest of them were to Erwin, how deep that loyalty ran. How they would turn on him if they found reason to. “You’d be smart to wait until tomorrow.”

“You’d be smart to keep your shitty advice to yourself,” he retaliates. Erwin Smith – for all his name – had never wholly managed to hammer the insolence out of him, to polish and sharpen the jagged, unsightly edges of his personality. But that’s why he was in this situation to begin with.

The exchange gives Levi the drive he needs to push past Mike and stalk to Erwin’s door. He opens it and slams it shut behind him. “Enough bullshit,” he orders.

Erwin doesn’t look up from his desk where he writes in an old journal. He’s seen him take it out on rougher days when he sidelines his paperwork, but he has no idea what he writes in it.

When the echoes of his violent entry die down and dissolve into silence, he realises just how heavily he’s breathing.

Erwin – infuriatingly calm – finishes writing a sentence, puts down his pen, and looks up. Looks at Levi for the first time since their incident earlier that day.

“What can I do for you?” He intertwines his hands. His eyes are tired and sunken in. He already looks defeated and it kills whatever harsh retorts Levi had bitten behind his teeth. He never wants Erwin to look like this – frail. Small.

It’s unnatural.

“You’re angry at me,” Levi says intelligently.

Erwin shakes his head slowly. “Disappointed.”

It stings.

“You said I could use my discretion,” Levi defends. “You said – ”

“I said you could use your discretion when I’m not there to give orders. But your discretion does not override my authority when I’m present. Two soldiers, Levi. Two dead. They didn’t have to be dead. My own captain, newly promoted and celebrated, doesn’t even obey my orders. And you challenged me in front of my own men.”

Levi looks away, sucking the inside of his cheeks to keep composure. “I thought I was making the right choice…”

Erwin’s eyes seem to soften minutely. “I’ve done this longer than you. If I give a command, it’s because I’ve assessed the situation and decided on the best option. You will not always understand my decisions, but it’s not your job to. You just have to trust me completely.”

“Blind faith?” Levi laughs bitterly. He was never one for the scriptures. “If I was that type, I would have become a wallist.”

“If you don’t trust me, why are you here?”

Levi curls his lip. “ _You’re_ asking me that fucking question?”

Erwin leans back in his chair. “I would have thought my track record proved me capable enough. This isn’t the first time you clash with me and the outcome is worse off for it.”

“Oi,” Levi begins, “there was no guarantee that they would have lived if I listened to you.”

“They would have had a better chance.”

“How do _you_ know that?”

“I just do,” Erwin sighs, brows furrowing, knuckles tight on the edge of his desk. “And even if I’m wrong, let that be my error. Let them blame me.”

Levi thinks of the rocks hurled at Erwin after every expedition. Different people each time, but they all sound and look the same. “I don’t want them to blame you…”

Erwin runs a hand through his hair. “They already do. And they always will. Nothing you do can change that. What you can do is _help_ me.”

‘Help’, Levi notes. Not obey.

Erwin stares at Levi and he stares right back. “Levi. I don’t need more…burdens.”

Something in his chest cracks, spills something dark and ugly. “Is that what I am?”

Erwin’s anger seems to fester and rise to the surface again. “Anyone who doesn’t follow my orders becomes a problem,” he says. No nonsense. “And that extends to even you. That should not surprise you.”

“Well,” Levi says bitterly, hip cocked and tired of arguing. He’s anxious to finish this, to get that foreign hardness out of Erwin’s eyes. “What happens now?”

“All privileges will be temporarily suspended. The Corps will…no longer pay for your specialty tea.”

Levi almost laughs. His lips twitch with the urge. “ _That’s_ …my punishment?” Was that the price of two men?

Erwin rubs at his forehead like he has a bad headache. Levi’s chest throbs at how miserable and disarmed he looks. “I don’t know what else to do,” Erwin seems to admit to himself. “I don’t know of any punishment that would humiliate but not degrade…to shock but not repulse.”

But Levi knows Erwin is more creative than that.

He sits on the corner of Erwin’s desk, back facing him. “Don’t admit that to me…that’s pathetic,” he says with no real bite.

They sit in silence for a long time. Levi hunched over slightly, Erwin rubbing and kneading the day’s disappointments out of his skull. He can feel more than see the movements behind him.

He’s powerless when he turns around and stops Erwin’s roaming hand with his own. He grips it, tight.

“I’m sorry, alright?” he croaks. Erwin’s hand is large and warm and just as rough as his own. “As soon as I drew my blades I knew that I…that it…”

Erwin reclaims his hand. It disappears under his desk. “If you’re not going to do anything with that regret then don’t speak of it to me.”

Levi turns back around slowly, places his hand on his knee once more. “It won’t happen again.”

“Good,” Erwin says, his voice even harder than before. “Dismissed.”


	110. Chapter 110

A third coffee. Paper dry hands. A wasting highlighter. An alarmingly low word count and a Beautiful Man. A flash of grey. A weary afternoon sigh.

That’s how it usually goes. The most taxing nine to five he has ever known.

He is allowed four hours of productivity before the Beautiful Man strides in. 1pm every working day, like clockwork, like the world waits for him and starts when he starts and time is but a plaything in his hands.

Erwin waits for him too.

He wears a forest green Kathmandu jacket regardless of the weather. His bag always has a tennis racket in it. All his books have something to do with economics. He likes to read his articles on the unsightly orange couch in their shared workspace and, when he stretches his legs out, they barely reach the end.

He taught Erwin that you might know a word but that’s not the same as truly understanding it. Like _infatuation_. Like _lust_. Like _want_. These are things that cannot be learned, only felt.

Erwin had initiated once – of course he had. It was as winter as winter got, and he was paler than Erwin had ever seen him. “Not you too,” he had grinned with all the confidence of a courting animal, pointing at the medicine and tissues near a mug of Earl Grey. But the Beautiful Man didn’t fall for such tricks. He looked at Erwin, and then looked away.

That was how Erwin understood _naivety_.

( _“Did you know that even angels fall ill,”_ he messaged Mike that night.)

And so they never talk. Not even when Fortuna spins her wheel and casts them into the printing room alone. Not even when Erwin holds the door open for him and says hello.

Such chivalry is only ever rewarded with a nod. He is grateful for that much.

The Beautiful Man likes tea. He drinks a lot of it. The postgraduate kitchen is small and grungy, but as good a place as any to observe the delicate bone of his wrist when he shakes obedience into sachet of loose-leaf tea.

When he fills his mug with hot water and returns to his desk, leaving Erwin with his heart on his plate like the abandoned parts of his lunch, he begins to understand _loneliness_.

Loneliness feels like a vacuum.

He’s amazed that when he touches himself, it’s to the memory of his nape – that bare strip of flesh that shouldn’t send anyone of sound mind spinning into such debauchery. If only the scholarship office knew of his sorry state, he thinks. They would know _regret_.

Or perhaps it’s to the point of his nose – a small button of a thing that tilts up just the slightest when he first inhales the scent of his tea – that his hand travels south? Or could it be to the purse of his pink lips when he scrunches his brows in concentration, petite fingers hovering unsure over his keyboard, that he tightens and spills?

Erwin’s work day ends at one o’clock, because any semblance of concentration after that is a stubborn work of fiction. Because his mind and heart are arrested by the Beautiful Man, who sits five desks away from him and smells of something clean and musky.

He wants so badly to let go, to win back his dignity and dedicate to the abandoned thesis bleeding on his screen. To push whatever is rotting with desire inside him over the edge and start anew. And sometimes he is close. _So_ close.

But then there’s a flash of grey in his direction. An unmistakable locking of the eyes as the Beautiful Man leaves his desk to get more tea. And Erwin is alive again, alive with the knowledge that those eyes sought him out, found _him_ in a room full of people. He’s not imagining it…is he?

No, he decides. Impossible. One more day. One more chance.

Only the Beautiful Man could teach him _madness_ like this.


	111. Chapter 111

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sequel to the beautiful man drabble in chap 111

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. He is, Erwin thinks, the living example, the ultimate performer, of this truism.

(Erwin pleads youth in his defense.)

His new mission is simple, but risky. He will approach the Beautiful Man again. The first goal is to corner him into a response. The second to find out his name.

A man can do so much with a name.

He takes bananas to the postgrad work space. It’s cheaper to buy them in bulk from a local supermarket than to pay four dollars for one at the local campus store. He gets a bundle, too-green, calculating that the heat of the small room will age them appropriately over the next few days. With time, with patience, they will be perfectly ripe.

He buys a big stack under the pretense of sharing with his peers. There’s nothing odd about a friendly offering of fruit, after all.

“Would you like a banana?” he asks the Beautiful Man, who is washing his mug at the communal sink. It tumbles and turns between his slick soapy fingers. His wrist bones occasionally knock together. His hands are so small they send an ache up his spine.

Erwin has grown braver over the last month. After all, with rejection comes reflection. He’s fortified his walls, built them up and cemented them with the ugliest parts of himself. Nothing can knock down self-contempt.

The Beautiful Man rinses his mug now. Erwin marvels at the misplaced thickness of his neck when he moves to tuck his personal scrubbing sponge back into the neat fit of its zip-lock bag. Then, and only then, does he turn around and look at the banana in Erwin’s outstretched hand. He studies it closely, like there are tricks hidden in its skin.

“It’s just a banana,” Erwin laughs, all suppressed nerves and clammy skin, not daring to step closer in case the man spooks. A month’s worth of confidence-building is on the line.

The silence stretches. His damp hand cools. The banana sits dejected in the cradle of his palm, and the sight of it – big and bright – suddenly seems downright obscene. It’s with a disturbed scrunch of his brows that Erwin registers the phallic nature of his offering.

“How bold,” the man responds, pulling a paper towel from the dispenser and walking away.

The mission is a failure.

But Erwin is nothing if not tenacious. Over the course of the next two weeks his work days are a cluster of failed small talk attempts. The man is rude at times, responding in short grunts - if at all. He walks past Erwin like he doesn’t see him. Yet, somehow, those grey eyes are his every time he walks past his desk. Erwin has never known such tortured confusion.

None of that stops him from feeling hopeful a month later when he walks into the printing room and finds him there.

The Beautiful Man scans his book slowly but attentively. Behind him, Erwin leans against the wall, watching, waiting, admiring, reduced to the condition of onlooker and bystander to the more important, otherworldly workings of this ethereal being.

“Oi, can you fuck off and stop watching me? It’s pissing me off.”

“What,” Erwin says stupidly on impulse, heart knocking up to his throat. Could it be that these are his first real words? “I’m just waiting for the copy machine.” He holds his book against his chest like a shield.

“I’m going to be a while.” His face hangs sharp over his shoulder, features contorted by a twitch of anger that betrays something bigger and deeper.

“Ah – my apologies. I’ll come back later.”

“Yeah, that’s a damn good plan.”

Erwin floats back into his work space, newly educated, a sting on his cheeks. Something nameless at the back of his mind taunts him with an _I told you so._

The Beautiful Man is no angel. He may not even be Beautiful at all.

It’s his own fault, he decides. He had built him up, thrust an image and an expectation on someone he didn’t know. Soft wrists didn’t mean a soft soul. A beautiful face didn’t guarantee beautiful speech. He was destined to fail. You cannot conquer that which you don’t know.

He pulls up his word document and finds his latest paragraph. Through a fog of hurt he pushes through.

And this time, when the beautiful man returns and those eyes call for him, they meet no response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beautiful man has it's own series now at http://archiveofourown.org/works/7913524/chapters/18081100


	112. Chapter 112

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi its been 84 years since i did a proper drabble. this one was for seitsensarvi <3

“Erwin…you said you would clean this place up.”

Erwin looks up from his book, mouth round and soft with surprise. “Ah! Yes. I will after I shower.”

Levi stands in front of him, puts a finger in the middle of the book and brings his thumb around to snap it closed. “The logical thing to do is clean and then shower. Besides, a shower at this time of night always leaves you tired. You won’t do it.”

Erwin thumbs the book open again stubbornly. It’s the same old expedition records he’s been scrutinising for a year. Hange had gotten them all bound in a single book a few years back.

It has to be his tenth time reading it, at least. He must be hard-pressed for new strategy. “It’s fine, Levi. Don’t worry.”

“Alright,” Levi says, sighing lightly through his nose. He can only pester him so much when he’s working. He doesn’t have the heart to stress him. “I’ll be back later.”

True to his word, he completes his duties and comes back four hours later. Erwin is still in his chair, the same book in his hands, except his hair is wet and the room hasn’t been touched.

“You showered,” Levi observes. “And yet your office is still a dump.”

Erwin manages to look both guilty and drowsy. Levi wants to flick his ear and kiss his eyelids at the same time. “I’m afraid that when I came out of the shower, I felt too sleepy to do much of anything.”

“Just like I said.”

“Just like you said,” Erwin repeats, grinning. His eyes crease at the edges. “As usual, you know me better than I know myself.”

 _I wish_ , Levi thinks. All these years and he still hadn’t met anyone who guarded their tongue, body, and mind more tightly than Erwin. He takes a seat on the couch. “You’re the one who told me to stop cleaning your rooms. I didn’t mind doing it.”

Erwin looks at him. Levi knows he’s entering dangerous territory but feels testy all the same.

“I liked it,” Levi says. He misses having an excuse to stick around. And then, a final blow:

“I liked doing that for you.”

Erwin remains quiet, but gives him a look he can’t read. Something infinitely sad yet warm. His eyes are so big – they shine with tenderness.

“What’s that look for,” Levi rasps, an itch in his throat and a hopeful twinge in his chest.

Erwin suddenly releases a ragged breath, runs a hand through his wet hair and places his face in his large palms. Levi almost stands up to check on him, bones cold with surprise. He’s never seen Erwin like this.

But then Erwin surfaces with a smile. “I’m going to send you to your grave one day,” he says quietly, like he’s just truly realised the likelihood of Levi’s death and his place in it.

Levi tilts his head. Erwin sobers, sucks in a light breath. “I don’t want to kill you.”

Levi clicks his tongue casually, even as he feels his heart in his mouth. “Oi - what makes you think I’ll be the one to die first?”

They share a charged look until Erwin laughs softly.

“Levi,” he says, fond.

Levi fights a smile. “I’m a soldier first and foremost,” he says. “You know your job and I know mine.” Erwin nods slowly. They pretend to be convinced as though they don’t both know that Levi lives and breathes for him alone. It’s something they don’t talk about, hiding behind humanity.

Levi stands, pads over to the desk across from him. “Erwin…in the future…don’t talk like that,” he says, face serious. He’s surprised by the severity in his tone.

“Have I upset you?” Erwin asks, leaning forward.

Levi thinks about it. “Yes,” he decides.

“I’m sorry,” Erwin says, and he looks old with guilt.

The expression could break him. He brings a hand up to Erwin’s face, lets it curve and hover by his cheek – thumb moving with promise. “Can I?” he whispers.

Erwin turns his face away, but not unkindly. “Better not,” he says. His lashes cast a long shadow against the wall.

Levi flexes his fingers in the warm air where Erwin’s face was. It’s enough, to be in the same space. He lets his hand fall by his side. It’s not surprising.

“Let me clean your room,” Levi says, less a question than a demand. “We both know you’re never going to do it.”

Erwin’s lips twitch, curving up. “If you must,” he says. “But tomorrow. Just sit with me tonight.”

“Alright,” Levi says. He takes his seat on the couch once more and watches as Erwin picks up his book. He falls asleep watching Erwin’s hair weep beads of water onto his collar.


	113. Chapter 113

It’s deep enough into winter that they can’t launch expeditions. At least for a while, until the snow lets up. The soldiers are already celebrating their month or so off - packing for home, drinking themselves sane in front of a fire. Their burdens are lifted if but for a while and they are giddy with it, with this small bite of a promised future.

Erwin tells them to enjoy their time off but to keep fit. No one else sees the way he sulks at the sky and pouts at the snow.

“You can’t control the weather, Erwin,” Levi snorts. “Just try to enjoy the break as well.” Erwin would micro-manage the sky, if he could.

The commander side-eyes him, choosing to say nothing. Levi knows the winter makes him broody and easily agitated. The weather has postponed whatever vision he is racing so violently towards.

The base is empty now, soldiers dispersed here and there. Even the 104th went to town, in high enough spirits to enjoy the night markets. 

When Erwin returns to his quarters, Levi follows.

Erwin makes for his desk and Levi grabs him by the hand. “No,” he says quietly.

“No?” Erwin repeats.

“No.”

He leads Erwin to the tub instead.

He gets a fire going in the fireplace and makes some tea for them while Erwin bathes. Then he digs around in his drawers for his warmest, most comfortable clothing and walks into the bathroom to hand them to him.

In bed, Levi fitted against his side, they are quiet. 

It begins to rain, big plump drops drumming against their window. Erwin sighs a mighty sigh into Levi’s hair, small black strands blown backwards from the force of it.

“You know, Levi, all this is very inconvenient for me,” Erwin rumbles sleepily. Disappointed down to the last grain of consciousness.

“I know, big guy.” Levi runs his hand over his back in smooth circles, all night, until the sorry bastard falls alseep.


	114. Chapter 114

Levi loves Erwin after a good fuck in the capital. 

They rush, playing at a game, biting and nipping and thrusting with boyish, war-like urgency. It feels scandalous, like the god-honest fucking King himself could stride in any second to find one of his highest ranked officers mounting another like the beasts beyond the wall.

It’s good.    

He loves Erwin’s legs in the morning: long, beer-gold, weaved in and out of expensive (rented) linen. Kicked wide and open, deliciously lewd, his mussed up hair peeking out from under the canopy of arms and pillows. In the private sphere of their hired room, Erwin moves like a man on holiday. Slow to wake, slow to stretch, a lop-sided smile upon discovering Levi at the window – silently admiring him. Always admiring.

Erwin smelt like last night’s sweat and sex and the promise of a third round. He smelt more man, more masculine, the package of his sex seeming to swell with pride at a job well done. 

Levi liked to roll it in his palm, warm and soft, until Erwin threw his head back with a sigh, dick rising like a stalk inside the punishing roots of Levi’s fingers.

He couldn’t tell what it was that got him so worked up. Perhaps it was the way he spread out on the bed, a line of gold on faded white, lazy and well-fucked. He looked like he lived to fuck, to be fucked. Worshipped. What was the difference?

There was something about him, about this man, about waking up _with_ this man in a bed that wasn’t their own. So far removed from headquarters, a perfect slice of time, neatly isolated from the horrors they’ve grown tired of articulating. An illusion.

But illusions are convincing sometimes, and so sometimes Levi will put down his tea and straddle Erwin – those legs, strong horse-fed thighs. He has half a mind to ride him again, with the way he blinks the sleep out of his eyes. He settles for kissing them again, and his scent stirs something in Levi.


	115. Chapter 115

The arches come into sight, bright, almost gold in the darkness of the late night. It pulls in and guides the ravenous like a lighthouse on land. Levi sees the reflection of the big ‘M’ flicker in Erwin’s widened, hungry eyes.

His knuckles tighten on the steering wheel, and Levi can feel him on the cusp of speech. “ _No_ ,” he says, before any sweet words can drip from his plump lips. Erwin was like a siren – you would be a fool to give him an opportunity.

“Baby,” Erwin pouts. Levi knows if he looks at him he will meet those ridiculous doe-eyes.

“No way you’re eating that fatty shit _again_.” Levi crosses his arms in a show of finality.

“Just French fries,” Erwin negotiates.

“Just a heart attack at forty,” Levi strikes.

“Alright, fine.” He makes a show of it: a dramatic sigh, his shoulders falling back against his seat from where they had raised in hope and eagerness. Levi is satisfied. He takes Erwin’s hand in his own and squeezes – a silent apology for playing bad cop, but he is practically purring. Erwin smiles at him, and Levi’s lips twitch up.

Then Erwin drives into the McDonalds anyway.

Levi laments his wavering authority. Erwin – whip smart, wise – avoids his blistering gaze in favour of speaking into the drive through speaker.

“Good evening,” Erwin says. (‘ _God Erwin you_ _’_ _re so fucking old_ _’_ Levi groans from the passenger seat.) The sharp lines of his face and jaw flex in the shadowed light of the drive through. He looks rugged and strong – handsome and dapper, still in his neat work suit.

Something is set alight in his chest. Levi loves to admire him in these quiet, mundane moments.

“Can I have a large fries, please?”

“A coke with ice?” the speaker returns.

“Ah, no. A large fries.” His voice is raised now, clearer.

“A hash brown?”

Erwin falters, confusion pushing his bottom lip out. “Fries, french fries,” he says, more desperate.

“An orange juice?” the voice says, exasperated. There must be something wrong with their headset.

Levi undoes his seat beat with a violent huff. He crawls over Erwin’s lap, hasty fists inconsiderate of his precious jewels – Erwin lets out an _oof._ Levi angles half of his small body out the open window, getting as close to the speaker as he can get. “A large fries you shit stain,” he snaps. “We’re coming to the window.”

He slides back into his seat, brushing his hair away from his eyes.

“Appreciated but unnecessary, Levi,” Erwin scolds, frowning. He drives to the pay window and hands over some coins to an embarrassed teenager.

Erwin receives the paper bag like an offering of gold. He opens it, peering inside, smiling at the sight of his prize. Levi is struck by how child-like he seems, can be. Ridiculous. What a ridiculous man.

He loves him so much.

“Will you wait for me, Levi?” he asks, gesturing towards an empty parking spot. He loves this about Erwin, that he will ask even though he knows. Levi would follow him to the earth’s core, to the raging fires of hell, if only to watch him lick the grease off his lips.

“Well I’m not gonna walk home at midnight am I,” he says instead. Erwin laughs. _I suppose not._

He parks and turns off the car, the bag safely cradled by the thickness of his thighs. Erwin opens it up, giving Levi the first honour. Levi huffs in defeat, shoving his hand in and rummaging around melodramatically. “I need the perfect fry,” he explains, but really he just wants to knock his hand against Erwin’s crotch a couple of times.

Erwin knows this, of course. He grins widely, popping a fry into his mouth. “You’re so troublesome,” he sighs.

Later Levi will taste the salt on him, on his kiss-bitten lips, their mouths greasy and hot – slipping and sliding against each other. But for now he kisses Erwin’s neck, revels in the wideness of it, lets the strong thick of it rest against his lips. “This is the last time,” he grumbles against his skin. He tucks his head into Erwin’s neck, feeling him swallow. It lulls him and makes him soft. He has never learned to say no to this man.

They sit in the dark, and Erwin offers him another.


	116. Chapter 116

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unfinished ficlet that’s beyond repair and which i cbf for anymore. enjoy if u can. 863 words. a little morbid - tw for erwin’s decaying corpse.

Erwin is dead.

No one dares offer him to the rubble below. Levi won’t allow him to burn with the rest. Hange stands on the roof, shaken and unsure.

Levi’s hands tremble around a battered water flask when he says, “I know a place.”

He checks it first, to see if it has survived years of titan infestation. He almost laughs when he finds it standing tall. It’s just like Erwin to pick a stubborn house.

The attic is best, he decides. He carries the body himself, but allows Hange to help him with the stairs.

“You can still use this place,” Hange comments quietly. “Wouldn’t it be better – “

“No.”

It’s all he says, because how can he explain that a house without Erwin can never be a home.  _Still, this is the best place for him._

He cleans it. He starts with the attic, spreads to the rest of the rooms. Within two days the scarce furniture they left behind have been dusted, and the house is gleaming.

He makes a cup of tea. He’s comforted by the knowledge that Erwin is close to him. He could go upstairs and replace the flowers, air the room. He could reword his farewell again, and again and again until it’s perfect. Erwin would appreciate it, a good speech. He always smiled whenever Levi said something clever.

The days are long. Levi returns to the house every opportunity he gets, sitting on the couch to drink some tea. Indulging in the quiet.

And he’s so close. It’s a fine routine until they come.

The pungent smell of decay, the flies. Old friends. He’d met them once before.

He doesn’t know why he enters the attic.

Erwin is bigger now. Flies around him, everywhere, swarming. His stomach flips at the smell. The air itself seems to rot. Levi wipes a shaky hand over his face, wondering if it’s possible for a dead man to become deader still.

It’s a few seconds before he’s escaping down the stairs, chased by a putrid scent. More flies filter out of the room and into the house. Back at the new headquarters, the smell lingers all night, plaguing him while he showers and scrubs his skin red raw and bloody. He doesn’t sleep.

It’s the last time he goes upstairs. He vows never to return to the house.

But…Erwin is so close.

And so he does return, if only to clean it. Erwin deserves no less.

But it’s hard. Levi can’t tell if he imagines the scent around him, or if it’s really there. He gets a whiff of it sometimes when he’s working. When he walks down a corridor or reaches up to take hold of something. On two separate occasions he has to sit down, holding his nose and mouth and taking deep breaths. The taste of suppressed bile grows familiar.

He can’t tell if he imagines the thumps in the walls when he falls asleep on the couch after cleaning. He can’t tell if he imagines the sound of activity up in the attic, creatures of death feasting together in the dark split of the night. Feasting on  _him._

His lover, up in the attic, dying. Dead. On nights such as these he will fly up the stairs and pause, ear to the door. He wants so badly to pull back that cloak, protect him. But he thinks of his bloated body. Or would it be a level lower, collapsed with time and shrinking flesh?

His lover, his Erwin. In the attic. Food for worms.

He cannot think of the house without feeling sick. But the idea of leaving Erwin alone makes him sicker still.

“You’re looking very pale,” Hange says. They take hold of his face and look into his eyes.

Levi pushes their gangly arms away. “I’m fine.”

“You need to stop going there, Levi.”

He knows this. He knows how he must look now, absentminded and sickly. Deranged. The new cadets gawk at him. He knows. Sometimes he manages not to go.

But then there are days. Those days. Old words resurface and spin. They say Levi let him die, that he hated the man he called Commander. They say Erwin’s name is used in town to scare disobedient children. Others say: _he was right all along, what a shame_. They say Levi was selfish. On days like this it is too much, too hard. He goes to Erwin, ear against the door, knees to his chest. _I miss you._  
  
Hange arrives one night unannounced, three soldiers at their heel. “Levi.” They shake him awake from where he has curled up on the couch. When he opens his eyes, Hange has a hand pressed to their nose. The corpsmen wave away flies, looking nauseated.

“We’re moving him.”

He sits upright, head thumping from the too-fast swing of it. “Get out, all of you.” The soldiers shuffle anxiously.

Hange looks down at him, eyes large and soft. “Enough, Levi. Look at this place. Look at you. There’s no dignity in this.”

The threats roll off his tongue faster than he can register, yet for all his hissing he doesn’t follow them into the attic.


	117. Chapter 117

Erwin bent haggard and near broken over his desk, fatigue bone deep and throbbing behind his eyes. The cruel and inevitable ache of a long expedition always settled in two days after their return.

He rubbed at the jelly of his eyes. He had been marvelling at the coloured blotches behind his lids as he thumbed them when Levi suddenly stepped into his office, closing the door behind him with a sharp click.

“Erwin.” He sounded serious.

“Levi.” he parroted in the same stern tone. Something about the fatigue made him impish, lightheaded as he was. He hadn’t slept in nearly three days. When he removed his thumbs and gazed up the Captain looked less than impressed with his childish play, and Erwin let the heavy corner of his mouth curve up into a small smile. “What is it?”

Levi wore his resting clothes: black pants with an equally dark sweater. A wide neckerchief was wrapped tightly around his head. “The cadets have lice. More than half of them.”

Erwin supported the hefty weight of his pounding head on his hands, fingers entwined, his eyebrows barely lifting. “Well, a few weeks beyond the wall with no fresh water will do that.” It’s then that he spotted the comb in Levi’s hand, and understood what he intended to do.

“Are they being treated?”

“I’ve put them in quarantine, and Hange’s rationing the ointment.” He took a few steps forward around Erwin’s desk. “I need to check your hair.”

He gaped slightly, excuses on the ready. He was certain he was fine, but he could find no logical reason to refuse a check-up. More so, something about the way he met concern rather than disgust in Levi’s eyes deeply unsettled him. _‘Need.’_

“Ah, alright…thank you Levi. Shall I lie down on the couch?”

Levi seemed surprised, if not the slightest bit discomforted by the suggestion. “No. Stay in your chair. Just bend forward.” Brisk as always.

He obeyed, folding and offering his scalp for examination. Levi took a long moment to step forward and Erwin felt a little foolish in the position until his fingers begun exploring his hair. Every so often he felt the sharp lick of a comb, but the sensation was very nice. He looked down at Levi’s clean shoes, knowing his cheeks were starting to pink.

This went on for some time until he began to feel dizzy. Levi must have noticed his discomfort because he said, “Your shitty blonde hair isn’t helping me spot any eggs.”

Erwin pulled back, dropping his head against the broad head of his chair. Levi’s hands hung mid-air, offended, like they had just been robbed. “The blood is rushing to my head,” Erwin offered in way of explanation, eyes rolling shut.

Levi sighed. “Idiot. You’re exhausted.”

Erwin hummed a non-response and Levi made a small sound. “Come back tomorrow, Levi. It’s not so urgent.”

“Fuck that. I didn’t get to have a proper look.”

Erwin opened his eyes and considered Levi’s problem solving face. He was scrutinising the couch to the side of the room. A minute later he padded over and dropped down onto it heavily.

“Come,” he said sharply. The comb lay on his lap.

For all their attempts at being clinical, he knew that Levi felt just as sheepish as he. He considered his options and decided that to refuse would surely humiliate Levi, something he wasn’t inclined to do.

Nothing to do about it. He rose from his chair, bones popping in aged protest. At this motion Levi untied his kerchief and lay it across his lap. “To catch anything that falls,” he explained, although Erwin wondered if it wasn’t a make-shift barrier to render all this less intimate.

He lay down, positioning his head on Levi’s lap and stretching his legs out. They were too long to fit on the couch so he let them hang over the side. Levi resumed his work and Erwin closed his eyes so that he wasn’t directly staring into Levi’s own. His thighs were small and firm and warm under him.

Levi’s fingers were slow and cautious, alternating between scratching and combing. He turned Erwin’s head every so often, two fingers on Erwin’s cheek to guide him. They were so gentle against his face that he almost blew out a delighted breath; it felt like mercy, like mercy and relief and adoration. Levi touched him like he might break, like he was something feather soft and delicate that might float away with too hard a push.

He frowned, a pang in his chest, and Levi stopped. The kind hand that lay on the top of his head disoriented him.

“It’s nothing,” Erwin apologised, hardening his resolve. “Go ahead.” He felt Levi looking down at him but did not want to open his eyes.  
  
“Alright,” Levi said. He resumed. He spread his fingers in Erwin’s hair, and Erwin felt like dead weight under his hands, the feeling far too good.

He couldn’t have said when or how he fell asleep.

When he came to, he was still on Levi’s lap. Levi was in the same position – head tilted and looking down at him. His expression was bored but there was a glow in his eyes.

Erwin blinked up at him a few times, sleep-addled brain coming to terms with the fact that he had probably just put Levi in a highly uncomfortable position. He thought to apologise.

“Do I have lice?” he asked groggily instead. He felt heavy but well rested.

“No. You’re clean.”

He managed a nod. “How long was I out?”

Levi hummed. “About ten minutes.” His hand was still on Erwin’s head.

“That’s not so bad.” They lay there for a while, the room quiet but for the creaks and groans of the old walls. Erwin knew he needed to move, but Levi’s hand kept him grounded in place. None of them spoke for a long while until Erwin had the good sense to peel himself away.  
  
He thanked Levi for his help and Levi said “sure.”

They didn’t speak about it, not even after Erwin had looked out the window and noticed hours had passed since Levi had invited him to the couch.

Levi had slipped out silently and Erwin was grateful for it.


	118. Chapter 118

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gallifreyanphd asked:  
> Taxi driver/valet levi and drunk flirty customer erwin

Levi stops outside the bar and the man clambers into the backseat. He sits right in the middle, folding himself slightly so that his head doesn’t hit the roof of the car.

Levi raises a brow, then twists his body around to look at him. He looks sober enough even if he does reek of a little booze. “Where to?”

He turns around again, restarting his meter. He doesn’t like how intense the guy’s eyes are.

“Oh…” he hears from the backseat. “Oh my. Wherever  _you’d_ like.”

Levi squints suspiciously, adjusts his review mirror just enough to see the man’s flirtatious grin.

Oh hell no.

“Get the fuck out,” Levi snaps. He has one rule: he is no drunk man’s mule.

The man raises his hands. “I’m sorry, sorry. My apologies. I’m a little intoxicated.”

Levi tuts and sighs. He considers the situation for a small moment. Maybe he’d tip generously for being an ass. He looks wealthy enough, in his neatly pressed suit. “Where to?” he asks again, a little snappier this time.

“Oxford street, please.” Not too far.

He merges into traffic easily. He frowns when he notices the man’s head in the review mirror.

“Oi, can you move. Your head is blocking my view.” He changes lanes.

“Ah…I guess I’ll lie down then,” he says, stretching his body out all along the backseat. His broad upper body is on the right side of the car, and Levi feels that gaze on the side of his face. “Now we both have a better view,” he says. There’s a smile in his voice.

Levi ignores him. “If I find your feet on the upholstery I’m going to ditch you at the next kerb.”

The man taps a finger against the laminated sign attached to the back of the empty passenger seat. “Be nice. This sign says that I have the right to a safe, _friendly_ , and comfortable taxi ride.” He slurs on the word ‘safe’.

Levi snorts. “No one actually reads that shit.” He stops at a red light, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. He feels tense, and that annoys him.

He hears the man laugh, and it’s a nice low rumble. “Maybe because they’re too busy looking at you,” he offers. “You’re beautiful.”

It’s Levi’s turn to laugh darkly now. He shakes his head, almost to himself. “Should never drive drunks around.”

“I’m not that drunk,” the man protests. Then: “am I really bothering you?” He sounds a little concerned.

Levi finds himself wanting but unwilling to say ‘no’. “I’ve encountered worse,” he says instead. At least this customer wasn’t trying to grope him.

The man sits up suddenly, shuffling to the far side of the car so as to not obstruct Levi’s view. “I’d like to take you on a date, Levi.” Levi glances at him, amused by how laughably serious he looks.  _This guy…_

 _And fuck that obligatory public display card,_  Levi thinks. It let all sorts of perverts learn his name.

“And I’d like a million dollars,” Levi retorts. “But life is cruel.”

The man laughs again, something soft and genuine and self-aware, and Levi finds himself liking the way he receives rejection so easily.

“I don’t have a million dollars,” the man says sadly. When Levi looks at him again he is gazing out the window, a small, warm smile on his face like he is still thinking about Levi’s words. His cheeks are nicely defined in the glow of the street lights. “But I bet a night with you would feel just as good.”

 _Fuck,_  Levi thinks, feeling his cheeks warm.  _I can’t seriously be buying this crap. How lonely am I…_

“You’re embarrassing yourself.” He turns into his street.

The man hums in agreement. “Just this house here,” he says. He squints. “No…wait…wrong house. My apologies.” He’s still slurring slightly on his S’s. “Few more hundred metres.”

“Doesn’t even know his own house,” Levi snorts, but feels something like fondness threatening to spread in his chest.

He stops at the right house this time, and blinks when the guy puts his entire wallet in Levi’s hand. He looks like he might doze any second – his cheeks pink with sleep. _Cute…_

“Thank you for the ride, Levi. You’re so good. It was good. Maybe see you some time. Call me.” He gets out of the car and moves to his front door.

“Fuck’s sake,” Levi says, shaking his head.  _Not that drunk my ass._  He opens his wallet and pilfers through his bills to take the fare owing to him. Then he rolls down his window.

“Hey you,” he yells. He looks into the wallet, then angles half his body out the window. “Erwin Smith.”

Erwin turns around with a look of surprise. “Forgot your wallet, dumbass,” Levi says. He throws it across the front yard and it hits the middle of Erwin’s chest with a dumb, satisfying smack. He picks it up from the floor and smiles.

He drives away before he can smile back, leaving Erwin there.

Maybe he’ll look him up tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> birbwin.tumblr.com


End file.
